Jonson's Diary

July 2018, 2, light rain

I successfully applied for the job today. I was working as a piano teacher in a well-known piano store. I played a piece of sorrow and let me stay.The boss is more than 50 years old, wearing a suit and vest, wearing gold-rimmed eyes, and has an elegant demeanor.

The salary offered to me was 450 yuan per class, and I was immediately shocked. I thought that if I got more than 100 class hours per class, it would be the sky.

He asked me to go to work at nine o'clock tomorrow morning. There are only me and him in the piano shop, and they only teach piano.

I suspect that I have met a hermit master, the kind of old artist who bid farewell to the music circle for various reasons and then devoted himself to teaching students, and finally became all over the world.

I wandered outside for a long time before returning home, and I felt guilty facing Xue Lin.

We are all adults, and the days of youth are gone.

Besides, he and I, from the past to the present, are just beasts hugging each other for warmth, so there is no special relationship.

We have kissed in many places, and I attribute him to the restlessness and curiosity of adolescence.We would bite each other viciously in the dark alleys of the streets, and exchange a bloody kiss after a fight.

On a hot summer day, Xue Lin would skip class and go to the rooftop to eat ice cream, and Xue Lin would slyly say, "I want to try yours."

The kiss between me and him is full of the brutality of wild animals, biting each other, fighting for each other, not giving an inch, and occasionally there are very tender kisses.

In the afterglow of the setting sun, the wind becomes soft. At this time, Xue Lin will be terribly gentle, and I will obey him a little bit.

Sometimes, we will kiss for real fire, and then push each other away tacitly, covering up with unnutritious topics.

All the throbbing, joyful or apprehensive emotions are all buried under this almost transparent cover.

Xue Lin had a girlfriend once, and they broke up after two weeks of kissing.And Xue Rin's reason is that he is curious about what it feels like to kiss a girl.

I asked, "How does it feel?"

"That's it! I like you more."

I clearly know what that sentence means, I prefer to kiss you, but my heart still skips a beat.

When I got home, it was already very late, and Xue Lin had already gone to bed.

Xiao Song curled up at the door and waited for me, wagging his tail happily when he heard the sound of the door opening, his wet eyes seemed to say: I have been waiting for you for a long time!Why are you coming back now, you have to go home early next time.

I carried Xiaosong back to his dog house, and walked back to the room lightly. The light slipped out through the crack of the door. I was a little puzzled, did I not turn off the light when I went out?No, I never turn on the lights, some sweet delusions come to mind.

Ah, how is it possible?You are a trash, rubbish, you are useless, you are not qualified to like people, and even your life is a waste?why don't you die

I want to die, live for a while, maybe there will be a miracle in the next second, but there is no miracle, I want to die, I can't get out of this cycle.

I can't give up yet, I'm dead, what should Xiao Song do?

I have to keep going, and death needs a plan that doesn't bother anyone else.If you jump off the building, you may hit someone. Even if you can't hit anyone, the medical staff who came came to clean up the corpse with a shovel, and you can't lie on the rails. People who witnessed that scene may cause psychological shadows.

It is better to die quietly in a corner. In short, it takes a long time to plan.

My biggest dream now is to fall asleep and never wake up again, to sleep forever.

I have had nightmares almost every day for the past few years. When I wake up, I am entertaining myself thinking that there is nothing wrong with having nightmares. At least I will try my best to wake up instead of thinking that if I can’t wake up, I will die every day. alright.

"Why are you standing there stupidly? Why don't you come in?" Xue Lin half-closed her eyes, obviously she was very sleepy, maybe because of the light, Xue Lin's whole body softened a lot, and her brows and eyes were full of tenderness.

I must be blind, but I can see the obvious tenderness from Xue Lin.

I walked in numbly and fell on the bed as hard as a piece of wood.

Xue Lin got into the bed and wrapped the quilt around him. I couldn't tell at all. He seemed to be very happy. He stood up while smiling and wrapped the quilt, and finally threw himself on me with the quilt.

"What did you do? Why is it so cold?"

Isn't it natural to have ice on your body when you go out and wander in this kind of weather?

He kicked me off the bed: "It's so dirty! Go take a shower, or you won't be able to climb up."

The carpet was very soft, it didn't hurt at all, I lay motionless, so tired!Tired of blinking and breathing, I struggled to take a shower.

The water is warm, and I am cold, and the warm water will become cold because of me.I slid down little by little, and when the water covered me, it suddenly occurred to me that maybe jumping into the sea would be a good choice?Ah, no, others have to salvage it, which is very troublesome, and it will be scary if it floats on the beach one day.

Xue Rin pulled my hair and lifted me up: "Drown in your own bath water? What kind of novel way of dying is this?"

Why do I feel so disgusted when he says that?I didn't intend to die like this either!

"I'll give you 2 minutes, I'll wait for you in the room."

I looked around for a hair dryer, but I couldn't find it. I obviously put it in the drawer.

"Drink the ginger tea, and I'll blow your hair." Xue Lin said solemnly.

I am familiar with that look, it is the secret excitement and pleasure when the prank is about to succeed.

He probably tampered with the hair dryer, or hid the hair dryer on purpose to toss me to help me dry my hair.

He would blow my hair up on purpose and laugh at the chicken coop head he made with his own hands.

You are so old and so childish, can't you be more serious?However, seriously, it probably wasn't Xue Rin anymore.

I took a sip of the hot ginger tea. The ginger tea made by Xue Lin tastes better than the ones sold outside. Maybe it’s because of the tea and honey, or maybe his unique combination?

I like sweet ones, and the ginger tea outside is too bitter for me, but Xue Lin's brewed ones are just right.

After drinking a cup of ginger tea, Xue Lin stared at me sullenly, with a gloomy expression, did I offend him?I was the one who got pranked, but the kid who got pranked is still angry?What happened to the hair dryer is still unknown?

Xue Lin hugged me tightly, it seems that it is not appropriate to hug me, it should be said.

I don't know what earth-shaking changes have taken place in Xue Rin's world while I was drinking ginger tea. It's rare for him to look like this. This is the second time. The first time was the day before he transferred to another school.

Like a wounded beast showing its vulnerable side and begging for comfort, it is irresistible.