Jonson's Diary

March 2018, 3, windy

Am I being too selfish?

I think very seriously.

I thought I was good to Xue Rin, but what I gave him was what he didn't want?Hurt in the name of love is the behavior I hate the most.Unknowingly, have I also become such a self-righteous person?

Is there no other way?

As I thought about it, I fell asleep again.In the end, it was Xue Rin who woke me up. It was time to eat, but I was still sleepy.Xue Lin unbuttoned her apron and said, "The side effects of the medicine must be too great!"

I ate egg custard and explained: "Since it is a released drug, generally speaking, the positive benefits far outweigh the negative benefits."

To be honest, the side effects of antidepressant drugs are daunting enough when you read the large stack of instructions. It is to write down possible adverse reactions in a responsible manner.

There may be, it is a matter of probability, side effects vary from person to person, some people have it, some people don't.

For example, I feel very uncomfortable when I take Deanxit, but I don’t feel anything when I take Paxil. Some people have severe diarrhea after taking Sertraline Hydrochloride, and I don’t have this kind of situation either.

There is also the problem of drug addiction. I personally think that mild or moderate patients say that drug addiction is more of a psychological addiction. The subconscious believes that only by taking medicine can they sleep well.

Depression is a complex disease. It is a comprehensive manifestation of a huge system, involving genes, neurotransmitters, cells and tissues, brain, brain and psychology, and social environment. buckle.

I have checked a lot of information. At that time, I could not accept the state of my depression. I am not a cheerful and optimistic person, but I think that I am a person who is more rational than emotional. Most things are viewed from an objective perspective, and rarely The emotional side.

The split between rationality and sensibility is a devastating blow to a calm and reserved person like me.

Everyone has a lot of fun with the meme of fine points, but the fact is that when you really have a tendency to have fine points, you will be overwhelmed with pain.

Patients with severe depression will also take anti-sperm drugs under the guidance of doctors.

I don’t want to write anything specific, and I have nothing to write about.

I put a chain on Xiaosong. In fact, he will not run around at all. He will follow me wherever I go. He will run forward in a hurry and come back in a hurry.

The reason why I put on a chain is that on the one hand, there are people in the community who are afraid of dogs, so they can feel at ease. On the other hand, there are also some people who have large dogs with a more ferocious personality. I can protect Xiaosong even if he is bullied.

After all, he is my stupid son.

I saw my college roommate by accident. He was standing at the gate of the community, wearing a short sleeve. Although the temperature is rising, the body temperature today is not too high, is it?

I originally wanted to pretend I didn't see him and leave. Our relationship wasn't very good back then. Unfortunately, he had already seen me, so I had no choice but to bite the bullet and say hello to him.

"Long time no see!" He greeted with a smile, bright eyes and bright teeth, he still looked like a boy before after so long, "Would you like me to go in and do something?"

I hesitated and nodded, always feeling that it was a bit subtle, what was wrong?What's his name?

I forgot, I really don't know him very well. Compared to him, I am more familiar with An Huai, a taciturn gifted scholar and extremely difficult person, but he has a good relationship with me.

Xue Rin glanced at him, but didn't say a word, the tranquility before the outbreak?Where did I offend him again?

"Hello! I'm his friend, and my name is He Ye..." Before he could finish speaking, Xue Rin pushed him out of the door, closed the door and locked it, all in one go.

jealous?It shouldn't be, I just brought my classmates back. It's very pitiful for him to stand there in the cold wind today.

Xue Rin's reaction was just jealousy. I quickly ran through the people I've been in contact with recently in my mind. Is he the only one?Xue Lin has gone so mad that he is jealous of himself?

He took my mobile phone and asked: "Li Keji? An Huai? Come on, tell me? Who else?!"

I was thinking about how to explain this situation, even if I said I was a friend, he wouldn't believe it!IQ and EQ are fully offline.

"Don't tell me, right?" Xue Rin kicked the coffee table fiercely, "Li Keji sent you something? An Huai, play with four hands? You still have videos and photos on your phone?"

No, no, no, no, it's not their reason that Xue Rin will blow up. He does have a strong desire to control and possess, but he knows how to measure.

What is the reason?I didn't speak, and waited for him to go crazy.

"Damn liar! You don't like me but you lie to me to be with you. I haven't seen you for a few years, have you been so shameless?"

Xue Rin yelled, it was not right, what he wanted to say was not this, "Do you want to get rid of me all day long?! Just want to break up?! Let me tell you, there is no door! There is no window! There is not even a crack!"

"Last night, a bunch of women and men came to me. You can't smell the perfume. The lipstick marks are so obvious. Are you blind? Or what?"

I should have thought about it earlier, Xue Lin is a deadly clean freak, how could someone get close to him, he did it on purpose, maybe he painted the lipstick mark himself.

So the point of his anger is that he went out yesterday and I'm not jealous?

Besides, am I like the kind of person who messes around with women?

I was shocked, and a nearly perfect plan quickly took shape in my mind, and I didn't even need to add details.I am sure that there will be no mistakes, and all accidents can be classified as controllable, which can be said to be seamless.

But I need to work my way out of it, it can't be written down.How can you write down your plans to do something bad?Is it easy to get caught?

I pressed my temple and said with some headache: "Are you so worried about me?"

"Are you so worried about me?" Xue Lin asked back

"I believe, with your pride, if you really don't want to be with me anymore, you will just say so." The truth is, I really believe in this attribute of his cleanliness.

Moreover, taking a step back, it's okay if he abandoned me, he didn't belong to me in the first place.If he doesn't come back to me, I won't feel any emotion, it won't necessarily be easier to say.

Originally, the only thing I needed to arrange was Xiaosong, but now, there is one more him.

Look, am I an asshole?