Protagonist, wake up

Jian Zhu's school days were relatively peaceful.His art teacher liked him very much, and she found that the child had a high talent for painting.He is sensitive to light and shadow and color combinations, and he sometimes paints super-level paintings.The music teacher found that after criticizing him for the first time, he seemed to be a different person, and he became more comfortable in her class.

Sometimes Jian Lanzhou feels helpless towards this child, because now she will definitely face some unpleasant things when she opens her eyes.He is very innocent, but no one knows that Jian Lanzhou is innocent.But for this child he had to accept inexplicable punishment, and occasionally had to be a savior.

It was a summer when Jian Zhu was eight years old, and the stuffy air made people very irritable.Jian Zhu was called out by a group of playmates, they climbed over the wall and ran outside to the abandoned fields, and jumped up the dead trees one by one like monkeys.They saw that Jian Zhu didn't climb up, and he didn't get any response when he yelled at the tree, because now Jian Lanzhou is in control of this body.Originally, he had no intention of playing with children, and he was keenly aware that the sky was getting darker. In the current environment, he had to be careful of all kinds of extreme weather that might happen.

He turned his head and shouted to the group of people in the tree: "Come down quickly! A thunderstorm is coming!"

It was getting dark very fast, almost in the blink of an eye the black clouds overwhelmed the top.The loud wind caused the children on the tree to stop one by one, keeping the trunk at a loss.

"What are you still doing?" Jian Lanzhou yelled while running back, "Hurry up and go home before it rains! The village is not far away, you can go back if you hurry up."

Just as he was talking, the raindrops fell on the people like beans, pouring the children all over their heads and faces.The rain was too heavy and there was a strong wind. The children who had not had time to get down from the tree had their faces covered with water, and they could not open their eyes at all.Just as he was carefully climbing the tree trunk and sliding down, a thunderbolt exploded beside him, he let out a scream and his feet slipped, and he was about to fall from a high altitude, but the contact was soft when he landed.

Jian Lanzhou guessed that this small body would not be able to catch a child who fell from such a height, so she rushed back before the others could react, and used herself as a backing.

The boy was helped up from Jian Lanzhou's body in a hurry. Jian Lanzhou refused to hold his hand, rubbed his stuffy chest and said: "If you have nothing to do, go quickly, it's easy to attract thunder here."

The group of children couldn't figure it out afterwards, why didn't they consciously listen to Jian Zhu at that time, and they went wherever he said?The person who usually looks like a bun suddenly showed a mature leadership temperament, which made those who looked down on him stunned.

The child rescued by Jian Zhu was named Zhou Ding, and he was a chubby boy, so Jian Lanzhou firmly knew that he couldn't catch him.

After Zhou Ding went back, he wiped his face and slapped Jian Lanzhou on the back.Seeing him look over, Zhou Ding grinned, and said heartily: "You saved me once, and I will remember this favor!"

Neither Jian Lanzhou nor Jian Zhu had any bad feelings towards Zhou Ding, because although they were together, Zhou Ding never bullied him, and even he himself became the target of ridicule because he was too fat.

At that time, he hadn't realized how his kindness today would bring him back in return.

**

As winter approached, Jian Zhu's mood gradually turned cold.

A while ago, Jian's father was tricked by someone into making an investment. He invested a large sum of money in it, only to find out that the other party was a liar, and ran away without a trace with his half-life savings.The difficult family situation was made worse. Jian Zhu saw his mother wiping tears. He couldn't bear her crying, nor could he bear the atmosphere of mourning at home.His heart twitched so hard that he closed his eyes.

Jian Lanzhou is much stronger than Jian Zhu.He didn't know what happened, but he would kneel down in front of the crying woman and gently wipe away her tears, letting the aging woman hug him tightly.He always has a little more patience with women and children.

But he also didn't like Xiaozhu's adoptive father, not only did he not like him, he almost treated him with contempt.In his opinion, there is nothing to sympathize with who easily vents their dissatisfaction on the weak.A lot of bruises on Xiao Zhu's body were due to a trivial matter, such as the water was too hot, the bowl was broken... These things would make the man furious, and Jian's mother had also been slapped by a man.

After this incident, Jian's father often lost his temper at home, and it seemed that something went wrong on the construction site where he worked.Jian Zhu became more and more afraid of his adoptive father, especially after he started to indulge in alcohol.A drunk man has no reason to speak, he just keeps waving his arms, destroying those who don't like him violently.When he wakes up, he will blame Jian Zhu for not cleaning up the mess.

And this year, whenever Jian's father got drunk, his bloodshot eyes would stare at Jian Zhu with a strange and trembling gaze.Jian Zhu was very afraid of such a man, making him think that he was tightly entwined by a sticky and cold snake and then swallowed it in one gulp.

But Jian Zhu didn't dare to express his dissatisfaction, he knew it would only lead to more violence.He is insensitive to the hostility and punishment of others due to his double hidden and repressed ego and his prolonged avoidance.When Father Jian was yelling, he would stare at Father Jian, and then lowered his eyes and shrank dully under the man's roar.

The father's dereliction of duty made Jian Zhu yearn for the normal tolerance and love of mature men, just like his elder brother Lanzhou, who became a strong shield for his fragile heart.This kind of companionship anytime, anywhere created Jian Zhu's morbid dependence, which became more and more serious as he grew older.

It would be great if he could have a brother or father like Lan Zhou...

When he wakes up from escaping and lies alone on the bed, Jian Zhu will feel as if a powerful alarm is installed in his head, vibrating and buzzing, as if his brain is shaking non-stop, causing his eyes to overlap .Jian Zhu hugged his legs tightly and curled up into a ball, thinking "Lan Zhou" and "Brother" in his heart, praying for that person to warm his trembling body.In the long vacancy, he longed for the breath of the other party, and he let go of every pore to capture it, like a cub dependent on a mother beast.

But no, nothing.

From beginning to end, Jian Lanzhou only left him with his handwriting, his talent, and his tenderness, but he could not touch or speak.

They are like two sides of a mirror.

**

Not long after Jian Zhu turned nine years old, Jian's mother finally found odd jobs in a small grocery store, and sometimes Jian Zhu and his son were left at home.

Jian Lanzhou told Dr. Liu that nine years old is an age that no one can forget. That year was the year when Jian Zhu's personality was completely split, and it was accompanied by a long period of despair and fear.

Another reason why Jian Zhu is so afraid of Jian's father is that he suspected that he had seen the scene where Jian's father cheated.A man like his father was hiding in a corner with his arms around a very young woman, and his hands were wandering around her body unruly.Jian Zhu covered his mouth, the man turned his head at this moment, but he was too flustered to see clearly, he just knew he couldn't turn back as he kept running.

There seemed to be an exasperated voice coming from behind.

The woman's face is not embarrassing when a good thing is shattered. Anyway, they have thick skins in their profession.

"That's your son?" She leaned close to Father Jian's ear and asked with winking eyes.

Father Jian was so fascinated by the woman that he couldn't care less about talking to Jian Zhu, "What son, he's a bastard. Leave him alone, he's a pustule just like that old woman, forgive him and dare not tell it." He leaned closer to the woman Ingratiately said: "Hey, how could you be so considerate..."

In fact, Jane's father has been out whoring for a while.Infertile and always sick, with an ordinary appearance, such Jian's mother is a burden to him, and her only use is to vent her anger when he is unhappy.

But Jian Zhu really underestimated the extent of his nausea.

After her ninth birthday, Jian Zhu found the bathroom door was open while taking a shower.There was no one outside the door, but he still trembled uncontrollably. He always felt that someone was staring at him from behind the door.

On the afternoon when the accident happened, only the two of them were at home. Jian Zhu continued to do housework as usual, but found that his drunken father had been staring at him.Those muddy and sticky eyes made Jian Zhu feel like a glow. When he was cleaning the table, Jian's father was watching him, and when he was mopping the floor, Jian's father was still watching him.Jian Zhu felt very uneasy, Jian's father stared at him, he didn't know what this man was going to do.

In the evening, Jian's father said to him, "You still have work to do in the field."

He dragged Jian Zhu into the dense field.

He was in pain all over, and his hands were bleeding from the hemp rope.

The tinnitus and the vibration in the brain were unprecedentedly strong, and there were massive black and red spots in front of his eyes.In the chaos, he seemed to hear countless human voices, and they were arguing in his head, like countless buzzing flies, which made him have a splitting headache.

He finally cried out, "Lanzhou! Lanzhou! Brother...help me, help me..."

I'm in so much pain, I'm so scared...

I can't take it, I can't take it...

But then he kept his mouth shut. Fear and disgust towards men occupied all the child's emotions, and despair reached its peak at this time.He was even afraid that his elder brother Lanzhou would be murdered by his adoptive father after being attracted by him. At that moment, he even forgot that Jian Lanzhou was an adult male, he only knew that he was a very important person to him.The protective mentality prevailed, so he gritted his teeth and stopped talking.

All tenderness should not be tarnished and let down.

Dr. Liu's report reads: "According to the examination and patient reports, he was sexually assaulted by his adoptive father, Jane Chenggong, when he was nine years old, and he was molested and abused intermittently by him for six months. His adoptive father put He tied him up and threatened him with a knife that if he told his adoptive mothers he would kill them ... that's when he completely split into three parts mentally and emotionally."

The author has something to say: Jian Lanzhou couldn't come out because he was experiencing the turmoil of split personality at this time, and he couldn't take care of himself.

According to statistics, the vast majority of multiple personality patients have experienced sexual assault and abuse in childhood.When I saw it at the time, I was really shocked. A child under ten years old was molested and even buried alive... Really, I felt very sad.

I hope that all good children will be treated kindly by fate.

PS: Because there is a lot of homework near the exam week, I can't guarantee the specific time of the daily update, when it will be finished and when it will be posted.