Protagonist, wake up

"The smudged color here will look better... The tip of the pen is dry, you need to dip it in some water." Jian Lanzhou stood behind Jian Zhu and taught him how to draw gouache. "Yes, don't be afraid of ruining the painting, learn to color first."

Jian Zhu smiled wryly, "Why do I feel soft when I hold the chalk in my hand?"

"You haven't painted before, so you'll let go after you practice a few more times." Jian Lanzhou took the pen he handed over, rinsed it in the bucket before dipping it in the paint, "Look, it's best when you dip it in white paint." Rinse the pen clean, so that the light color will be more pure."

Jian Zhu sighed sincerely: "No wonder the painters are said to be angels. I can't imagine how good those who draw on the computer are." Go up and steal some incense.

Jian Lanzhou didn't prevent him from coming, she was stunned for a moment, and then kissed back.

"Hmm." Jian Zhu struggled to get out of Jian Lanzhou's arms, and said with a flushed face, "Ahem, keep going."

This time Jian Lanzhou held his hand and outlined the outline stroke by stroke.

Enthusiasm ran all the way from the place where they met, and Jian Zhu's gaze was glued to the hand that wrapped him.Jian Lanzhou's hands are very beautiful, with straight fingers, and her white skin is as delicate as jade.Holding his hand and moving it up and down reminded Jian Zhu that they were walking by the river last night, and this man also held his hands gently with his.

Although the two lived together for a while and had almost the same taste, Jian Lanzhou was obviously more spicy. Jian Zhu was afraid that he would burn his stomach if he ate too spicy at night, so he took him out for a walk after making tea.At night, the riverside is lined with neon lights, and the huge signboards of high-rise buildings in the business district are shining brightly.In the square farther away, loud music was played, and the aunts danced in groups.

They leaned on the railing by the river and listened to the music. Jian Lanzhou lowered his head in the cool river breeze, buttoned Jian Zhu's windbreaker, and hugged him.

How warm, they thought.

The windbreaker was chosen by Jian Lanzhou, and Jian Zhu seemed to resist showing his body in front of others, even in the hottest summer, he would not wear a vest.Jian Zhu who slept with him sometimes avoided his touch. Once his hand touched Jian Zhu's back, Jian Zhu immediately grabbed | his hand.

Jian Lanzhou caressed Jian Zhu's back through the windbreaker.

Even if it was just a touch away, he still felt some uneven touch that time.

After finishing the painting, Jian Lanzhou said to Jian Zhu, "Shall we go out to play during the holidays?"

Jian Zhu was stunned, "Huh?"

"This is probably our last trip this year. After this holiday, everyone is very busy." Jian Lanzhou said, "Let's go to West Sichuan."

Jian Zhu hesitated for a moment, remembering that Teacher Liu would also be on vacation, he hesitated and said, "Just go for a few days."

**

"How have you been feeling these two days?"

"It seems to be better, I don't know...Maybe Lanzhou has been with me all the time."

Teacher Liu said slowly: "Let's continue talking about your dream. There is a very obvious connection between these two dreams - family, parents play a big part." She paused for a moment, seeing that Jian Zhu didn't intend to speak, and continued Said, "A child in ancient times has a father and a mother in his life, and the family is complete; although the child in the fairy tale also has parents, but—"

She didn't continue, but changed the subject, "You took a break from school when you were 14. I read your medical records. At that time, you were admitted to the hospital because of overwork and fainted. After you were discharged from the hospital, you went to the hospital. A psychiatrist. Would you like to talk about your mental state at that time?"

The dark room was quiet, Jian Zhu was lying on the bed|covering his eyes, as if he didn't know how to speak.After a long time, he slowly opened his mouth: "My family...is a bit bad, and the family is struggling to make ends meet. My parents are farmers, and that man is an alcoholic and has a very bad temper, especially when he is drunk, he often beats and scolds. When it’s over, he often whips people with sticks or skipping rope. When he was young, my mother would lock me in the room every time he was drunk. My mother's face is covered in blood. Neighbors' persuasion today can't stop tomorrow, and the police are useless. My nature is hard to change. My grandparents passed away early, and my mother has no support from her mother's family.

When I got older, that person got addicted to gambling again, and when he lost money, he drank more violently, and when he came back, he became even more rowdy.Moreover, I was beaten and scolded together, and several sticks were broken.With more and more debts, he began to steal money from the family, and wanted to borrow money from usury.My mother finally couldn't take it anymore and wanted to divorce. I protected my mother, but he poured hot soup all over me in a rage. "

The divorce was dragged on and on like this, until one day I held a kitchen knife like a lunatic, the blade wiped the man's head, and chopped it into the floor.

He didn't know what his expression was like at that time, it should be scary, because his mother was also frightened.

"My mother and I left that person when I was 14 years old...we were struggling and my mother was working five jobs and sleeping three hours a day. The factory was full of smoke and dust, and soon her body was overwhelmed She began to cough violently and couldn't sleep all night. She almost fell down the stairs a few times. Mom really tolerated it, and she kept the cough|blood streaks from me.

We can only spend ten yuan a day and only eat vegetarian dishes.When eating steamed buns, my mother always eats the shallow layer of skin on the top first.Later I told her, you have to finish eating a steamed bun, because you paid the most.I went to class during the day and came back at night to help her set up a stall.But in the past few years, she had been tossing too hard, and her mother had a weak foundation, so she finally went to the hospital. "

He spoke slowly and laboriously, as if the memory was too bad for him to recall.

"The moment my mother fell down the stairs for the first time, I pulled her in my arms and rolled down." As a result, his arm was torn, and his back was cut with a huge and terrible wound because of a sharp edge. , "She was lying in the hospital, and I chose to take a break from school to work. One was to save money, and the other was because I had already developed psychological problems at that time, and I wanted to change my environment. But I was too young and they did not employ child labor, so I first Learn to ask for help once."

Borrow money and work.He begged every family to come over, knelt down, hugged the thigh of the person in charge and begged them to save his mother, because his mother was suffering from chronic diseases due to overwork.Finally, several bosses saw him as pitiful and agreed to give him some small work.Later, when he learned that he had dropped out of school, his mother slapped him with shaking hands, but he just cried and kowtowed over and over again in front of the hospital bed, and shouted at her: "I don't have to go to school, but I can't live without my mother!"

Teacher Liu listened silently.

Jian Zhu's tone of voice was not fluctuating, and now he said it as if he was telling someone else's story, "I followed my mother physically, and then I had mental problems. During the part-time job, I often felt nauseous and dizzy, so my mother was discharged from the hospital, but I was sick again. I went in. After a while, someone finally introduced my mother to a job in the city, and life gradually improved."

After Jian Zhu stopped talking, the room was quiet for a long time.

"You | Mom is not easy."

"Mom is a very strong person, and she will not compromise with the bad reality. In my miserable childhood memories, she is protecting me. She usually looks weak, but as long as that man hits me, she will Dare to fight him desperately, even if she was beaten badly. She is also very easy to learn and has taught herself a lot of lessons."

"Leave all the delicious food to me, give me old clothes must also be clean and intact, and also send me to school when I vomit blood and pass out, and hold me tightly when I am in a state of nerves. She will never abandon me, a child can be her The pillar of life, this is my mother." Jian Zhu finally became emotionally unstable, "She took me to get rid of that man and dragged me out of the shadows, so I am willing to support her, and I am willing to be filial to my mother for the rest of my life."

The author has something to say: I came back alive...do my best and obey the destiny...