Being-Towards-Death

Shi Guyuan's smile disappeared from the corner of his mouth. Under Chi Yu's cold and burning gaze, he walked around the fish tank and flower pot in a leisurely manner, poured a glass of water and handed it to Chi Yu, and took it down and held it in his hand file bag, asked: "When did it arrive?"

Chi Yu pushed Shi Guyuan's attention away, stared at him for a while, and asked, "Did you have anything to say to me?"

Shi Guyuan took a sip by himself, threw the file bag back into the drawer, and said, "I haven't seen this."

"Then why are you checking me?"

"I need to know the details of everyone—"

"—Is it for you to hold it in your hand?!" Chi Yu asked him loudly, "Murder! Take the blame! Bribe! Shi Guyuan, what else are you afraid to do?!"

Shi Guyuan's eyes became deep, like two endless tunnels: "Where did you hear that?"

"Don't worry about where I heard it from, Shi Guyuan, I advise you to turn yourself in! If you want people to know, unless you do nothing, the police are not free!"

Shi Guyuan's mind immediately decomposed what happened behind him, and said, "Did you go to see Xu Liwei?"

"I'm not surprised that you know that I know him? It's hard for you to remember," Chi Yu said with a sarcastic smile, "We little people, just because of you Mr. Shi's words, our family was ruined, don't you feel a little bit guilty? Shi Guyuan, are you so hard-hearted?!"

"Why should I feel guilty?" Shi Guyuan said, "Between Xu Liwei and I, there is money and money. Life is something you have to fight for yourself, and I have done what I promised. As for the rest, it is love to help him. It's my duty not to help, and I can't protect myself at that time, how do you ask me to help him?"

"His sister is lying in the hospital, dying! What he needs is money, and the last thing you need is money!"

"If it wasn't for me, he wouldn't have so much money in his life! His sister still has to die!"

"He took the blame for you, and he still can't get out!"

"If it wasn't for me, he wouldn't be able to come out in another 30 years!"

"It's you who should go to jail! You deserve it for as many years as you want!"

Shi Guyuan's pupils suddenly dilated, he closed his eyes, took a deep breath, tried to calm down, and then said, "Chi Yu, are you here to quarrel with me?"

Chi Yu glanced at him angrily and contemptuously, and said, "I'm just standing in the position of a friend to persuade you to surrender."

"...friend?" Shi Guyuan was stimulated by this word in his cerebral cortex, and a sharp pain flowed through his whole body like an electric current, but he smiled, "Chi Yu, I don't understand, it's because of you that you're complaining about Xu Liwei like this conscience? Or for whom?"

Chi Yu didn't react for a while.

"...that person you like but will never get?" Shi Guyuan said sarcastically, "You are so great, I only have pity on the child, you will never be able to compensate her for being a mother in this life."

"you shut up!"

Chi Yu raised his hand like crazy, and was caught by Shi Guyuan before the slap fell; Shi Guyuan raised his chin, the arc of the corner of his mouth outlined an elegant and mean look, and looked at the man in front of him like a caged animal with cold eyes: "You should Thank you, I made you recognize yourself...Have you ever met that woman, do you prefer men or women now?"

Chi Yu calmed down, stared at Shi Guyuan's eyes as cold as a stone, and said word by word: "It was never you who made me realize myself, you are not as good as him at all."

Shi Guyuan's lips were pulled into a straight line, and the lines at the corners of his mouth revealed subtle twitches; a tornado erupted inside his body, turning all internal organs upside down; Populus euphratica that does not fall.

Chi Yu easily withdrew his wrist, and continued: "...you are not as good as him at all, I am so stupid, how could I think you are the same...you can only kill people, but he saves people!"

"Enough!" Shi Guyuan interrupted him abruptly, his gaze seemed to be sharp like a sword, he slashed at Chi Yu, closed his eyes again after a while, and said in a slow tone, "...Chi Yu, I don't want to quarrel with you, Some things can’t be explained clearly without explanation; I have my own reasons for doing things... just pretend you don’t know anything.”

Chi Yu said coldly: "I am not your dog, listen to what you say; you killed me—you killed my important person, and I will never forget it; one last piece of advice, hide If you pass the first day of the new year, you can't hide from the fifteenth day, so you can figure it out yourself!"

After he finished speaking, he walked away.

"Chi Yu!" Shi Guyuan called him from behind, he stopped, restrained from turning his head, "...what I have is not something I was born with. It is only natural for your parents to raise you, but I live, Every action has a price."

"But you shouldn't pass the price on to innocent people!"

The mind that had been washed by anger was like a jagged and ugly cliff; Chi Yu turned his head under the impact, and then he saw the needle hanging between Shi Guyuan's eyebrows, and the tired, red eye sockets.

In Shi Guyuan's nearly 40 years of life, there have been hesitation and disappointment, but there are only a handful of tears: one was when his parents were humiliated and died, and the other was when he received the admission notice.The enemy's attack will not add scars to the heart, only those who care can.

For a long time, Shi Guyuan's calm voice echoed in the empty room, like ripples caused by fish: "... Chi Yu, I'm sorry." He raised his eyelids, "But I have no choice. My world is a In a world where the weak and the strong prey on the strong, to survive, you must abide by the laws of nature. The lives of people are not equal from the moment of birth; when I was worthless, I also died, many times, so I I have to make myself worthwhile. I have to live."

"...It's all excuses," Chi Yu defined, "What you said is too far away from me, we are not people from the same world at all, I only know that you can kill people for just one or two quarrels--then now you Do you want to kill me too?"

Shi Guyuan looked astonished, and then became disheartened.Things were moving so fast that he was overwhelmed.He is used to sticking to his innocuous pride, and he doesn't want to show the filth and filth of the past to the eyes of his sweetheart—in 93, he was in his early thirties, enough to be young and vigorous; Hengyu finally germinated under his careful care, as if As he expected, Zheng Zhongtian reached into the "petri dish"; he organized gentle words to explain his "independence" plan to his adoptive father, but his adoptive father dismissed him as a cat and dog—

"Cats, cats and dogs want to go out to have fun all day long, and their memory will be long after a beating; you usually know the rules, why is it that the older you get, the less sensible you are, and you are not as good as a dog?"

At that time, he was 33 years old, he was hugged before going out, he was the darling of the media, and a rising star in the business world; but in fact, he was just a canary in captivity.

If everyone can be repaid for those injuries, why is no one responsible for him?Zheng Zhongtian used to have enough power, high enough status, enough money, and raised him, so the harm from his adoptive father, there is no need to be soft-hearted for an ant who steals life—whatever you gain, you will lose, a kind of exchange of equal value——Shi Gu Yuan has always thought so.

But the analogy still lingered, lingering; it was an irresistible insult, and all he could do was take it or forget it.

So when he heard Zhao Tiegang narrate the glimpse of his sister in obscene words, his patience reached the limit, and he told Zhao Tiegang to shut up.Zhao Tiegang recognized him, but the gangsters, in front of their brothers, lost face, a conflict intensified, and then——

Then Zhao Tiegang looked him up and down, and frivolously said that he and his sister were the same thing——

Shi Guzhen is Shi Guyuan's white swan, he does not allow anyone to slander his swan, let alone put Shi Gufeng with him, that will tarnish the swan's snow-white feathers.

When he came back to his senses, Zhao Tiegang's cronies had long since dispersed; Zhao Tiegang was lying in a pool of blood, still alive.Shi Guyuan turned his head and asked Xu Liwei and Zhang Jingshen to take him to the hospital. Suddenly, Zhao Tiegang held onto the handle of the knife and jumped up with the last bit of strength; throat.

In an instant, Zhao Tiegang's wrist was weak, and the tip of the knife slid down against Xu Liwei's cheek without any injuries—it was Shi Guyuan who gave Zhao Tiegang the fatal blow.

Six years later, it is hard to tell which is right and which is wrong; Shi Guyuan has never defended his mistakes. He thought that even if he had the Prometheus prophet back then, it would not be able to change the Sisyphus-like futility of today.

Shi Guyuan shook his head, held up a small potted flower helplessly, and said softly: "I told you that its roots are ugly, you have to remove its pot, and you said you would never be scared away... it's all fraud."

Chi Yu bit his lip, he could understand Shi Guyuan's reference; he couldn't bear it in the end, before turning around, he left a sentence: "...You can do it yourself."

Shi Guyuan turned his face away, his eyes fell on the drawer; when the sound of the office door closing came, Shi Guyuan lost his support and slowly slumped on the chair.

……

"Don't you feel a little guilty? Shi Guyuan, you are so hard-hearted?!"

"It's you who should go to jail! You deserve it for as many years as you want!"

"I'm just standing in the position of a friend to persuade you to surrender."

……

The brain involuntarily regurgitated every sound of Chi Yu, Shi Guyuan supported his forehead, frowned deeply, and coughed in a low voice.

……

"It was never you who made me realize myself, you are not as good as him at all."

……

Shi Guyuan suddenly opened his eyes.

……

"...You can't compare to him at all, I'm so stupid, how could I think you are the same... You can only kill people, but he saves people!"

……

Some of their dialogue seems to be off.

The second hand ticked, I don't know how many times it rang, Shi Guyuan sent some spray down his throat, then took out the document bag with Chi Yu's name on it, and opened it.