Being-Towards-Death

Sunday is the day off for Taoxian No. [-] Prison.At ten o'clock in the morning, the warm sunshine is like the hand of Buddha, caressing the common people indifferently.In the prison library, Xu Liwei was sitting by the window, his sturdy body almost overflowing from the chair, blocking most of the sunlight.Holding a book of "Overview of the Historical Development of Chinese Cuisine" in his hand, he read it intently, occasionally scratching the paper.

While he was reciting a term silently, the prison guard on duty called him: "Xu Liwei, someone is visiting the prison."

Xu Liwei stood up, put the book back where it was, followed the prison guard silently, and walked slowly to the meeting room.

He had many guesses along the way, and compared with his walking pace, his heart was full of energy from tension and surprises.For four full years, except for seeing my sister four years ago, I have never seen any relatives.At that time, my younger sister was pregnant, but she was worried about herself. Later, I heard that she had a serious illness... There was no news from then on.

He waited day and night, longing to see his relatives again, to see his sister, to see his little nephew or niece, and to ask his mother about her well-being. Today, four years later, he finally got it!

In the meeting room, Chi Yu sat in front of the transparent glass, feeling uneasy and sweaty from his palms.

The door of the meeting room opened, and Chi Yu looked over. This was the first time they met. He didn't expect that his senior's wife, who was so delicate, and his elder brother, who was a milk compatriot, were so strong that it was hard to describe.

Xu Liwei picked up the microphone suspiciously, and Chi Yu followed closely behind. Under the watchful eyes of the prison guards, the two seemed to have switched identities.

Chi Yu was very nervous, cleared his throat and said, "Hi, are you Xu Fei's brother?"

Xu Liwei said: "Yes, who are you? Do you know my sister? How is my sister now? Why haven't we heard from her for so long?"

Chi Yu said, "I'm your sister and brother-in-law's... good friend."

"Oh, what are they doing now? How is it? Are they all busy and don't have time to come, so let you come and have a look?"

Chi Yu didn't open his eyes, didn't dare to look at him, tried his best to restrain his nerves that were trembling because of tension, and said, "I'm here to tell you a piece of regrettable news, please don't get excited..."

"Tell me, I have heard a lot of bad news over the years, this one is not bad."

Chi Yu took a deep breath and said, "Unfortunately, your sister and brother-in-law both passed away three years ago..."

Xu Liwei fell silent, and the prison guards watched his every move seriously, not giving him any chance to lose his mind.

There was a long silence, but visiting hours are limited, and excessive sadness should not appear on inappropriate occasions.Xu Liwei glanced at the clock on the wall, and asked in a hoarse voice, "They...why did they...repay all..."

Chi Yu could only repeat feebly: "Please forgive me."

Xu Liwei asked again: "Then what about my old lady, how is she?"

Chi Yu was taken aback for a moment, but Xu Liwei didn't know that his mother had passed away, so he told the truth: "Ling Ci passed away due to illness at the beginning of this year..."

Xu Liwei's face like a full moon shed a tear that would not reach his cheek next year. He choked up and said, "No one told me when my mother left... I knew my sister was sick, and my brother-in-law wrote... But My brother-in-law is not sick or in trouble, so I will follow..."

Chi Yu said: "Ling Ci's health has always been poor. Although the family has no debts, the life is still stretched. Later, Ling's sister got seriously ill and couldn't afford it; and I just started working at that time, and there was limited support for them; senior...you My brother-in-law sold all his belongings, even the house, but he still couldn’t fill this bottomless pit. He really tried his best, owed a lot of debts, and borrowed usury without discussing with me... After Lingmei passed away, he was desperate... …and committed suicide by jumping into the river.”

Xu Liwei almost squeezed the microphone and said, "Impossible! How can there be no money! I begged-a friend of mine promised to give my family 1 yuan a month! 1 yuan! Why is so much money not enough? !"

Chi Yu understands that for ordinary people, [-] a month is already an unattainable number, but Chi Yu said: "I also know about [-], but for Lingmei's illness, all the medicines are imported. Come down, [-] a month is not enough..."

Xu Liwei thumped the table hard, and the prison guard immediately issued a warning.Xu Liwei turned a deaf ear and buried his head in sobs: "That... that beast..."

He thought of that man's handsome and elegant face, that man came to see him in the prison, he had arranged in advance, and the prison guards were not there.The man was holding a cigarette in his hand, his legs were crossed casually, his thin body leaned back in the chair as if he had no energy, his eyes were lowered, and he seemed to disdain to look at him, as if his tall figure had nothing to do with the dust in the ground. different.

He humbly begged, his sister was seriously ill, and begged him to help him because he took the blame for him.

What did that person say?

——"Today your sister is sick, you ask me for an extra million, and tomorrow your mother is sick, and you ask me for an extra million...Old Xu, no one's money comes easily. Don't you know this best? ? At the beginning, I agreed to give your family 100 yuan a month, which is not thin. To be a human being, you have to know how to measure. Besides, I also spent a lot of effort to reduce your sentence. You, you can do it yourself. "

If... had he insisted on that extra money back then, maybe his sister wouldn't have...

He is taking the blame for that person!Why is he still so humble!If it wasn't for him, then sitting here, the down-and-out person would not be him, but that person!

He hates it!

Chi Yu looked at the crying man, feeling sore from his heart to the tip of his nose. He said a few words of comfort, but Xu Liwei didn't seem to hear a word. It wasn't until the time for the prison visit that he asked belatedly: "Then my sister? Where's your child? Boy or girl? It's four years old—"

Chi Yu hesitated slightly, Xu Liwei had been forced to hang up the phone by the prison guards.Looking at Xu Liwei's lifeless back, Chi Yu closed his eyes and sighed.

He has been in Taoxian for several months, he has been busy with work, and even neglected Xiaoyu. Now that he is transferred to the research room, he has a lot more time.

This is also the main purpose of his coming to Taoxian City.At the beginning of the year, the senior's mother-in-law and his parents passed away one after another. Before she died, the senior's mother-in-law was lying on the hospital bed, holding his hand weakly but earnestly, lingering on her son's grievances. Only then did Chi Yu know that there was such a relative far away in the north go to jail.So he brought Xiaoyu to Taoxian, waving goodbye to the past while taking root in a foreign land.Seeing Xu Liwei today is not only the fulfillment of the old man's last wish, but also his farewell ceremony to the past.

As if letting go of all the psychological burdens, Chi Yu came out of the prison with great ease.As soon as he left the gate, he received a call from Shi Guyuan—after entering the research room, Shi Guyuan gave him a mobile phone for easy contact—asking him what would he like for dinner tonight?

The two lived close to each other, and he came back regularly, so they had dinner together almost every day.It's like a family, sitting together around the dining table with the family, and talking about the day's experience in front of the steaming home-cooked food.

Chi Yu said with a smile: "Whatever, you can do as you see."

Shi Guyuan said: "That's fine, you don't have to choose what to eat. Xiao Yan and William went out to eat today, and they won't come back. It's just the three of us. Xiao Yuer said he wants to eat sweet and sour pork ribs."

Chi Yu said: "I've done it three times this week, so don't spoil her all the time."

Shi Guyuan smiled and said, "Children, when you grow up, eat more meat. Well, I won't delay your experiment, see you tonight."

When Chi Yu hung up the phone, he had already walked out of the alley outside the prison.A car just stopped across the alley. Chi Yu didn't pay attention. He went to the bus stop, and luckily the bus he was waiting for came immediately. There were very few people on the bus. He found an empty seat and sat down to watch The scenery flying by outside the window.The bus carried him all the way to the hospital in the suburbs.

The window of the car on the opposite side of the alley was rolled down, Zheng Zhichu stared at the square butt of the bus, pondered for a moment, and then went to prison too.

.........................................................

Xu Liwei was hit and was in a trance, but within a day, there was another visitor.

He suddenly became a favorite, and this time the visitor seemed to have the same ability as that person, because this was the second time in his life that he met with someone in an interview room that was not monitored by prison guards.

The last meeting was not a good memory, so this time, Xu Liwei's attitude was very negative.

Unexpectedly, the person who came was a boy in his early twenties. Xu Liwei sized him up and down, and Zheng Zhichu let him sized him up. They were like tigers weighing each other's strength, full of vigilance.

Zheng Zhichu first said, "Xu Liwei."

Xu Liwei didn't say anything.

Zheng Zhichu continued: "Six years ago, in a fight together, a gangster named Zhao Tiegang was stabbed to death with a knife. He was suspected of intentional homicide and was sentenced to death. His sentence was suspended for two years, and his sentence was commuted after one year. 30 years in prison."

"who are you?"

Zheng Zhichu smiled: "...There are still twenty years left. In the prison, it's not long or short. I was going to ask you if you want to come out sooner, but just now I saw a person go out from here, It seems that you already know that you don’t have any relatives outside, so what’s the difference if you come out early or late?”

Xu Liwei asked vigilantly: "How do you know such details? What do you want to do?"

Zheng Zhichu said: "Since you don't want to come out early, then take my leave as I didn't say so."

"Wait!" Xu Liwei stopped him, his eyes were burning with hatred for survival, "I want to go out, can you let me go out?"

Zheng Zhichu said: "I know everything about you very well. Back then, as Shi Guyuan's thug, you helped him solve a lot of troubles, but how did he treat you?"

The fire in Xu Liwei's eyes was even brighter: "Shi-so-Yuan-"

Zheng Zhichu observed his emotions, and then said: "Did you know that if your sister hadn't been stopped halfway through the drug, the hope of being cured is as high as 90.00%." ​​He put the information he hired a private investigator in front of Xu Liwei, "This It's the doctor's medical certificate from back then, and it's the consent form to give up treatment, signed by your brother-in-law—oh, I forgot, you haven't even met your brother-in-law, have you? What a pity..."

After a pause, Zheng Zhichu asked again: "But your brother-in-law seems to have asked you for help, because they all know that you are actually... being wronged... Have you made any money with the gold master behind you? Probably not. , otherwise your sister would not have died..."

"Enough! Say no more!"

Zheng Zhichu took back the materials and said, "Now, what is your decision?"

Xu Liwei said, "Are you going to clean up the ancient abyss?"

Zheng Zhichu said: "You don't need to know too much, you just need to know that we have a common enemy."

Xu Liwei asked: "What do you want me to do?"

Zheng Zhichu smiled——

"I want you, retract your confession!"

................................................

In the afternoon, Shi Guyuan went to the city's largest vegetable market to buy black eggs and arugula, planning to mix it with a salad at night.Since he heard that black-bone eggs can promote the development of children better than eggs, he replaced all the eggs in the house with black-bone eggs.

He went to the familiar stalls to pick and choose, and bought the ribs and shrimps to be prepared for the evening. Then he took the bag and walked around the condiment area. He suddenly noticed a familiar figure of a woman sweeping the floor. She was wearing orange The vibrant colors of his uniform are particularly eye-catching, and the words "Cleaner of the Vegetable Market in the Eastern District of Taoxian City" are printed on the back of the uniform.

Shi Guyuan glanced at her, then turned around, and left the vegetable market before she noticed.Sitting back in the car, he called Song Weibin.

Song Weibin was having a regular meeting, his cell phone was turned on silent, but it was not connected, Shi Guyuan looked at the gate of the vegetable market with people coming and going, and remained silent.

He sent the food home, and then went to the company again.Let Liu Mian buy several cartoons that have been loved by children recently, and they have been sent to the secretariat at the door.Shi Guyuan took the discs into the office, flipped through them one by one curiously, finally unpacked "Little Confused God", put it in the VCD player, and watched it with relish.

Just after watching the first two episodes, Liu Mian opened the door and came in. Seeing the picture on TV, he wanted to laugh but didn't dare to.

Shi Guyuan turned off the TV calmly, and asked him, "Are these movies watched by children now?"

Liu Mian said, "Yes, my son also reads these."

Shi Guyuan said, "I forgot to ask, how is your son doing?"

Liu Mian said: "It's still the same. The doctor changed the medicine and the effect is not bad. If it can be maintained, it will not be a problem to go to school next year."

Shi Guyuan smiled at him: "If you have any financial problems, just speak up, don't be polite."

Liu Mian thanked Dade and said, "Boss Shi, it's been ten years since my son was born and the medical expenses were paid by the company. My life, Liu Mian, is yours. How can I be polite to you?"

Shi Guyuan pointed at him and scolded "You boy" with a smile, and then said: "I asked you to teach Zheng Zhichu, how is your teaching?"

Liu Mian answered after deliberation: "Xiao Zheng is smart, but it seems that he is not focused on taking over the company."

Shi Guyuan walked to the wide floor-to-ceiling windows with his hands behind his back, looked out at the busy street, and said, "Aside from being against me, what else can he know? If he doesn't study hard, you will leave the company's trivial matters to him. Let me see if he still has time to go to the Gold Tower for entertainment!"

Liu Mian said: "Mr. Shi, this is what our brothers said in private, why do you bother? Young Master Zheng doesn't appreciate it... You can take care of Tengkong to prosper, and pay him dividends on schedule, enough for him to eat and drink for the rest of his life... ..."

Shi Guyuan sighed softly and said: "Liu Mian, have you forgotten all the bad things we did? Zheng Zhongtian is dead, if you and I are still at his mercy, what will we do? Tengkong's surname is Zheng, I hold it in his hands. In the hand, it will be uncomfortable for a lifetime, understand?"

Liu Mian said: "Hey, I'm talking without thinking. Don't take it to heart. I just want to tell you a good thing today. Our goods have arrived at Zhoushui City Wharf, and the truck to pick them up has already left. If there is no accident, The day after tomorrow at the latest, the formalities will be handed over to Taoxian Customs.”

Shi Guyuan showed a relaxed smile: "Those Yankees spent a lot of time delaying for so long, at least they delivered the goods, and it's not in vain for me to travel all the way to the United States. Keep watching this matter, Don’t allow people to take advantage of this opportunity, besides, I heard that the customs in Zhoushui City has recruited a lot of new people, if it’s really not possible, it’s hard work for you to make a trip, old rules.”

Liu Mian said: "Then Mr. Shi, I want to ask for an extra day off after this matter comes back."

Shi Guyuan didn't ask much, just picked up the disc, pushed it on his chest, leaned against the table with a smile, and said, "You boy, you really know how to pick your time."

Liu Mian also laughed embarrassingly: "The child's mother's house is being renovated, and I will help move it."

Shi Guyuan said: "The child is still so sticky at such an age, I think you should give him a name."

"I really want to," Liu Mian said, "It's because she doesn't like it, and it's just a matter of a certificate. She still can't let go of the bad things in the past."

Shi Guyuan didn't continue.Liu Mian loves a woman and has a sick son with this woman, he knows all this.This woman used to provide special services to the guests in the grandeur, and she had seen countless people, but she was so fascinated by Liu Mian.After giving birth, Shi Guyuan asked this woman and Liu Mian to live a good life, but the woman named "Nana" firmly disagreed, so Shi Guyuan paid for her to set up a booth in the wholesale market to sell clothes , can also be self-sufficient.

This woman and Liu Mian have been stumbling and stumbling for ten years, and the relationship is broken. Usually, no matter how good they are, they turn their faces when they mention marriage.

Shi Guyuan waved him out.After get off work, he went home to cook, and Chi Yu went to pick up Chi Xiaoyu from the kindergarten.Chi Xiaoyu has grown a lot in the past two months, and her clothes are a little short. Shi Guyuan said: "When Xiaoyu comes back, let her take Xiaoyuer to buy some clothes and shoes."

Chi Yu said: "Don't bother Xiaoyu, I will take Xiaoyu next week."

Shi Guyuan said: "You let her wear half-short clothes this week? Be obedient."

Chi Yu choked on his food, blushed and looked up at him: "What did you say?"

Shi Guyuan knocked on the rim of his bowl solemnly: "Eat."

After eating, Chi Yu hid in the kitchen to wash the dishes, a hundred and eighty stags in estrus rampant in his heart, and he was about to have a heart muscle swelling.The culprit was ignorant, watching cartoons with Chi Xiaoyu in the living room.

A dazzling array of cartoons lined up in front of Chi Xiaoyu. Chi Xiaoyu closed his eyes and pointed to one at random. It was an old cartoon called "Snow Child". From his impression, Shi Gufen seemed to have seen it.

The cartoon is not long, so Chi Xiaoyu watched the beginning and asked first, "Uncle, have you ever seen snow? The snowflakes are so big!"

Shi Guyuan said, "Don't worry, you will see it in winter."

Chi Xiaoyu crawled into Shi Guyuan's arms, nestled into a ball, and asked Shi Guyuan to feed her strawberries: "I really want to go to winter soon!"

Shi Guyuan smiled, suddenly remembered something, and said, "Little Yu'er, when you grow up a bit, you won't be able to be hugged casually."

With eyes full of cartoons, Chi Xiaoyu agreed nonchalantly.When the snow child melted to save the little rabbit in the fire, she cried so much that she couldn't swallow the strawberries.

Hearing the sound, Chi Yu ran over and said, "What's wrong? Can you still cry while watching a cartoon?"

Shi Guyuan coaxed her and said, "That snowman didn't die. You see, in the end, when the sun came out, he turned into water vapor. In the next winter, he will return as snow again."

The cartoon ends right at the end:

——Mom, will the snow child come back?

—Look, isn't he with us?

When Chi Xiaoyu heard the conversation, she cried "Wow" and cried even more sadly: "We have to wait until the next year!"

Chi Yu waited helplessly for Chi Xiaoyu to finish his grief, and he said to Shi Guyuan, "Why do cartoons still have tragedies?"

Shi Guyuan said: "Next time I will screen first."

..........................................

Chi Xiaoyu fell asleep crying and crying, and Chi Yu wanted to carry her home. Shi Guyuan saw that it was still early, and Shi Guyuan hadn't come back yet, so he asked Chi Xiaoyu to fall asleep in the room, maybe soon wake up.

Chi Yu borrowed Shi Guyuan's study to write his medical records. Shi Guyuan was reading on the single sofa opposite him. Apart from the sound of pages turning and the rustling of pen tips, the air was quiet and warm.

When Chi Yu finished writing the last book, he raised his head and chatted with Shi Guyuan: "Has that Li Yue contacted you?"

Shi Guyuan turned a page and said, "No, what's wrong?"

Chi Yu said, "No...it's nothing."

Shi Guyuan smiled knowingly: "Did she call you?"

Chi Yu said Ai Ai periodically: "...I don't know how she got my number, I didn't expect it to be her, don't get me wrong..."

"I misunderstood something," Shi Guyuan said, "She got the number from your colleagues." After speaking, he raised his eyes and said, "It's my hospital anyway, so any movement can escape me."

Inexplicably, Chi Yu's back felt cold, and he twirled his pen and remained motionless.

Shi Guyuan said again: "What do you think of Li Yue?"

Chi Yu turned his eyes away, and said softly, "I...I don't have that kind of thought..."

Shi Guyuan said: "Before at the dinner table, she was interested in you, but after seeing Xiao Yu'er, she seemed to be very regretful. This girl is very good, but after marrying home, I'm afraid it will take a long time. You will be impatient, you should think about it carefully."

Chi Yu said: "I made up my mind a long time ago that I will not get married in this life."

Shi Guyuan said with a smile: "I'm not married because I'm old and I don't want to spoil little girls. You're only under thirty, why do you look like an old man?"

Chi Yu said: "You are not very old. You have a successful career and a good-looking talent. Some girls are willing to marry you. Is it because you have too high a vision? Do you have a favorite type? Yes Do you like mature and dignified ones, or small and cuddly ones?"

Shi Guyuan closed the book with a snap, got up and put it back on the shelf, saying, "I'm not interested."

Chi Yu frowned and asked, "You...are you frigid?"

Shi Guyuan was calm and composed: "You say so."

"Are you really?!" Chi Yu was taken aback, his eyes rolled twice on Shi Guyuan's fastened collar, "Do you need... let me show you...?"

Shi Guyuan smiled softly, no one in the world dared to discuss this kind of topic with him more than one hand.But he found Chi Yu's bunny-like expression very interesting, so he sat in the chair opposite Chi Yu, stretched out his strong wrist, and said, "Then there is Dr. Lao Chi."

Chi Yu fidgeted and gave him a pulse. His kidney function was fine, but his body was weak and cold, and his foundation was weak, so he had to take good care of it.

When Chi Yu stopped, Shi Guyuan jokingly said, "How about it, Dr. Chi, can you let me regain my glory?"

Chi Yu said with a serious face, "Your yang qi is insufficient, and your body is weak and cold for a long time, which will indeed lead to sexual dysfunction... Did you have poor health when you were young?"

Shi Guyuan's smile lines deepened: "When I was young, I was in good health, the sun was shining, my family was harmonious, united and friendly..." Before his eyes appeared the pills handed over by his parents holding hands like jewels, and the young man who lived in a small detached house in the north of the city. In time, Zheng Zhongtian is full of vitality.

Chi Yu said: "You can come to the hospital for a comprehensive physical examination some other day..."

Shi Guyuan laughed loudly: "You are a doctor, and the doctor sees that everyone is sick. Don't you think about it, I'm not interested in women, so it must be 'no'?"

Chi Yu was in a daze. How could he not hear such a strong hint?

Shi Guyuan said: "Scared you?"

Chi Yu shook his head quickly, for fear of being misunderstood by him: "No, I...I..."

The atmosphere was momentarily awkward.Shi Guyuan said: "If you feel awkward, just pretend I didn't say anything."

"I..." Chi Yu stared at Shi Guyuan's face, a double image that made him confused almost appeared in front of his eyes, and he almost said, "Actually, I also..."

Before he could finish speaking, the sound of keys clattering came from outside the door.Shi Guyuan took one last look at Chi Yu, turned around and opened the door for his sister. When Shi Guyuan changed into his slippers and entered the room, Chi Yu came out with the sleeping Chi Xiaoyu in his arms.

Shi Guzhen whispered: "I'm already asleep, let her sleep here, and let my brother send her to kindergarten tomorrow."

Before Chi Yu could politely refuse, Shi Guyuan took the first step and said, "Xiao Yan, you go into the room first."

Seeing that the atmosphere between the two of them was a bit weird, Shi Guzhen stopped talking and went to the dining table to pour a glass of water.

Shi Guyuan, who was blocking the door, pulled the corner of Chi Xiaoyu's clothes for the unconscious Chi Xiaoyu, and then whispered to Chi Yu: "Don't take what I said today, and pay attention to the steps when you go downstairs. "As he spoke, he opened the door for Chi Yu, who was not empty-handed, "Then... goodbye."

Chi Yu went out in a daze, returned home, settled Chi Xiaoyu, and went to the study to turn on the light.He opened the corner of the study curtain, and here he could see the window of Shi Guyuan's family study. Although he couldn't see the content, he could see that the light in the study had been turned off.

He sat on a chair in the study and pulled out a picture album from a drawer.The picture album has been carefully maintained. It seems that there are dozens of paintings, and each one has not even been turned over.

These scrolls depict the same person, and each scene is painted over and over again.Among them is a close-up of a sketch, which is a portrait of a person depicted with delicate brushstrokes. If you look carefully, the person in the painting has a face of Shi Guyuan.