My general

The commander-in-chief's father and the general are at the same table in the military academy, although every time the commander-in-chief's father is mentioned, whether it's aesthetic distortion or lack of conscience, he always calls him "this ugly guy".In fact, Commander Du's father was the captain of the armed forces, so handsome that the then President Li Qiongyu put his arms around him and said, "If I'm straight, I'll marry you now."When I saw Commander Du for the first time, my first reaction as a father was that I was greenlit. After I got the paternity test report, my second reaction was that the paternity test must be wrong. When people found out, they quickly buried him on the spot, so that no one would know that he had given birth to such a shameful thing.Later, Commander Du, who was almost buried alive by his own father, was about to be discovered, and he said, "It's just like this, it looks like the seed of your old Du's family", so Commander Du's father recognized Commander Du, so the army began to speculate. It was a Xichao woman who hadn't had plastic surgery raped Commander Du's father to give birth to Commander Du's son.

For being recognized as father and son, Commander Du was very grateful to General Ma. Later, he served under General Ma's command together with General Ma's son and the father of Tuan Zhang Ma. Benedict.Not to mention that Commander Du's two daughters have inherited their grandfather's beauty from generation to generation, even though Commander Du often boasted that his daughter was "carved out of the same mold as grandma" out of conscience, Captain Ma took a look When they saw the two Miss Du, they ran over calling "two sisters from the Du family", and finally relieved the Seventeenth Regiment.

The chief of staff of the [-]th regiment, the captain of the military doctor, and the sergeant of the military doctor can be kidnapped by Commander Du at any time, but the passionate beach in Shuizhou is beyond this village, and there is no such shop.After the persuasive persuasion of Captain Ma, the two young ladies readily accepted his suggestion, went to his tent to change into their swimsuits, and prepared to play in the sea.The officers of the [-]th Regiment were finally able to get away, went straight to the monitoring room of the yacht, adjusted the surveillance video of several rooms, and finally found Commander Du and the Colonel in the meeting room—Commander Du was sitting on the rostrum in a stately manner, and the Colonel had his hands behind his back. stand in front of him.

For the [-]th regiment, the conference room on the yacht is like a secret base.Seeing that the colonel actually brought Commander Du into the secret base, the quartermaster covered his eyes and couldn't bear to watch it any longer.

"Damn!" The Master Chief couldn't help swearing, "This little white rabbit! He shouldn't have let him know that there was a yacht in the first place. It's good now, I'll tell the old man everything."

Commander Du found that the seat could be adjusted, and after finding the most comfortable position, he began to ask questions: "Colonel von Hallenhof, do you know how serious this incident is?"

"Yes, sir." The colonel stood up straight, "From the comments on the photo, it can be seen that the indecent photos of the former Chief of Staff circulated on the Internet this time were given to the Junior Medical Superintendent by himself. If it wasn't for the Junior Medical Superintendent Intentional disclosure shows that there are major hidden dangers in the empire's network security..."

The colonel turned his back to the surveillance camera, and peeking people couldn't see his expression, but when Commander Du heard "Otawara Medical Inspector", his entire face turned green.

"Who is this 'Otawara Medical Officer'?" The Master Chief clicked his tongue again and again, "I remember hearing Bald Jin say that the old man is so powerful that he dared to call the former chief of staff 'spicy mother'." , why are you so afraid of becoming like this when you hear something like 'Otawara Medical Young Prisoner'?"

"You don't understand that, do you?" the chief of staff waved his finger, "Commander Du dared to scold the former chief of staff, but he was most afraid of four people - Li Chenglong, commander of the military police, Wei Qiulin, commander of the rocket army of the war army, and Jiangnanfeng, the old chief of his family. The other one is Lumina Otawara, the 'Evil Star Empress'."

"Otawara Lumina, the medical junior supervisor, is a real evil lady." Although he only heard her name, but never saw her... just being famous, the military medical captain hoped that he would never have a day to "see her".

The military doctor sergeant suddenly thought: "Since Commander Du is so afraid of them, in other words, as long as one of the four of them faces us, Commander Du will not embarrass us?"

"Do you think we can see Commander Li, Commander Wei, or Jiangnan's army commander based on our rank?" Know her whereabouts. Even if we can find them, how can someone who can scare the old man listen to us?"

"That's right." The military doctor sergeant retracted obediently.

The colonel didn't seem to notice the drastic change in Commander Du's face, and he continued to say: "...it's best to contact the Ohtahara Medical Superintendent for this matter, otherwise there is no way to determine it, and the follow-up processing will be..."

"Who knows where she's hiding?" Commander Du finally regained his composure when he thought of the disappearance of Otawara Rumina, "If something goes wrong, don't try to shirk responsibility. Colonel von Harrenhof, how long have you been here ?”

"More than a month, sir." The colonel replied respectfully.

Commander Du pondered for a moment: "I've only been here for more than a month, and I'm not very familiar with the people under my hand. You can't blame you for causing such a big disaster..."

"No, it's the lowly position that has 'already' been here for a month." Contrary to Commander Du's expectations, the colonel didn't mean to shirk responsibility at all, "The lowly level really bears the inescapable responsibility for what happened."

"Oh?" Commander Du was a little surprised, "Then how do you plan to take responsibility?"

"According to Beizhi's one-month observation in Shuizhou, the law and order in Shuizhou was chaotic. Within a month after he took office, there were remnants of thieves who launched terrorist attacks in the hospital, and then the barracks caught fire for no reason, and hackers found hermitage The Otawara medical junior supervisor spread a large number of indecent photos of the former chief of staff, and the situation is extremely serious...”

Commander Du nodded with satisfaction: "Then what are you going to do about it?"

"The reason for all this, in the final analysis, is due to the insufficient number of troops stationed in Shuizhou. Therefore, I implore Shangfeng to allocate funds to give our regiment a full-staffed manpower, and there is also the cost of rebuilding the barracks..." The colonel opened the portal and started Pull out the budget sheet.

It's on, it's on, the Colonel is about to start plucking the iron cock!Everyone in the monitoring room held their breath involuntarily, to see what magical powers the colonel could perform.

As expected, Commander Du didn't even look at the budget, but instead looked around at the meeting room of the yacht: "During the period after the barracks caught fire... you lived on this ship? It's a good place to live."

"Yes, sir." The colonel began to take out the electronic receipt, "The daily rent of this ship is 30 imperial dollars, and the total cost of six days is [-] imperial dollars. Live on the boat and expect to..."

"Are you trying to cheat, don't you?" Commander Du slapped the table, "Even if the camp is burned, you can't find a cheaper hotel to live in? Do you have to live in such an expensive luxury yacht?"

"Shuizhou is in the peak tourist season, and all the hotels are full. Only Danlu's presidential suite has vacancies. The cost of staying in the presidential suite for one night is 100 imperial dollars, but there are only five suites in total, and one suite Even if it is on the ground floor, it can only accommodate [-] people. Even if all the five presidential suites are booked, it will cost [-] imperial dollars a day, and at most it can only accommodate a quarter of the [-]th regiment. But on the yacht You can live in the entire [-]th Regiment for [-] Imperial Yuan a day. I have already chosen the most cost-effective place."

What he said...was really not an excuse.Commander Du himself and his two daughters lived in the presidential suite in Danlu, because there was really no other hotel to live in.Fortunately, Shuizhou is a small place after all, and there are not many big people here, so that Danlu has been in business for more than ten years, and the presidential suite has never been booked.As a public-private joint hotel that is half official and half civilian, the manager of Danlu Hotel is well versed in the way of life.Commander of the Southwest Military Region Headquarters, such a once-in-a-lifetime big shot, came here, and the hotel manager took great pleasure in serving him, and even gave him a lot of discounts.Even so, Danlu's consumption level also made Commander Du very heartbroken, if not all the expenses of this trip could be reimbursed in the name of a business trip, Commander Du really couldn't bear it.

But if it was so easy to be plucked by the colonel, Commander Du would be too sorry for the title of "iron rooster".Commander Du looked at the enthusiastic beach outside from the floor-to-ceiling windows: "The weather in Shuizhou is so hot now, I think it's not bad to just lay the floor on the beach. By the way, you can see the stars, what a beautiful scenery, I can't even envy you."

"Although Shuizhou is along the coast, the temperature difference between day and night is huge, and you will catch cold if you lay on the floor in the open air at night."

"Soldiers have to bear hardships and stand hard work, how can they be so delicate?" Commander Du stood up, stood in front of the floor-to-ceiling window and looked out the window with his hands behind his back, "Even if you really caught a cold, I saw that there is a big one in your town." Hospital, if I get sick, I will all live in the hospital, and I don’t need to spend any money.”

As soon as he heard that he was going to the hospital, he was still going to the Shuizhou General Hospital, there was a sound of air-conditioning in the monitoring room.

The military doctor sergeant jerked his head away and coughed violently.Everyone rushed to help him pat his back, and for a while, he didn't care about listening to the voice on the surveillance side. He only saw the colonel take out the portal, as if he was making a call, but he didn't turn on the visual screen, so he didn't know where the phone was. Who is the head.When the military doctor sergeant calmed down, the colonel had already hung up the phone.

"Okay, okay, let's not talk about anything else, just say that you have been photographed in such an inappropriate manner, what are you going to do?" Commander Du called up the chief of staff on the portal, "a slap in the spirit, an infusion of military soul "Slap in the face" video screenshot, continued to ask questions, "I am not an unreasonable person. It is very good to remember Commander Jin. You said that there is no place for meetings except the playground, so you can only hold commemorative activities on the playground. , I can understand. But take a look, what kind of photo is here?"

"The photo of Captain Jin's heroic sacrifice." The colonel replied confidently, "This photo was chosen by Captain Jin himself, and it is full of his mourning for his deceased father as a son. We have to respect his feelings as a family member of the deceased..."

The captain of the military doctor covered his face: "Don't push me out, little white rabbit."

Commander Du waved his hand, signaling to the colonel that there is no need to continue. He turned to the military doctor and asked the captain what the "feelings of the family of the deceased" was like: "Okay, I won't bother with you about the photos, but the clothes What are they all about? You are simply the Russian Guards at the end of the [-]th century. You are not doing your job properly and are dissolute! If it is only in private, I don’t care about it, but your ghostly appearance was photographed and posted on the Internet , where do we put our military's face?"

The colonel answered eloquently: "Because the funds of the [-]th regiment were severely deducted, it was impossible to buy a large dress. There was only one set of regular dresses, and they could only be washed once a week. Wearing a regular dress that has not been washed for a week to attend the ceremony is a tribute to the heroic sacrifice. Team Jin is disrespectful. Regarding the budget for buying new dresses..."

Seeing that the colonel started to take out the budget statement again, Commander Du hurriedly interrupted him: "It's okay, it's okay to wear casual clothes. But even if you wear your own clothes, can't you dress more formally?"

"Everyone is already wearing what they think is the most formal clothes." The colonel said nonsense with his eyes open.

"'Most formal'?" Commander Du took the case, enlarged the photos on the portal to the maximum, and pointed to the people in the photos one by one, "You call this the 'most formal'? Look at what you are wearing here ? Cheap suit shirts, old ones, dressed like salesmen."

The colonel glanced at the photo: "This is Apollo's latest men's clothing this year. It takes the retro route, imitates the texture of a cheap suit, and uses modern craftsmanship to make it old. In fact, it costs [-] imperial yuan a set. Memorial ceremony, specially ordered, if you think it is necessary, I can ask him to show the receipt."

The military doctor sergeant tugged at the military doctor captain's sleeve: "Who is the 'Second Lieutenant Liu' that the regiment is talking about? That is Corporal Pan of the Gendarmerie. He bought the clothes at a cheap store for only ten imperial dollars, and He’s been wearing it for five or six years. He’s also been showing us that he’s bought cheap and high-quality goods, and a suit of ten imperial dollars hasn’t broken after wearing it for five years.”

"It's only been more than a month since he came here. I think he can't even tell who is from our regiment and who is from the Gendarmerie just by looking at his face. He also speaks in a serious manner, as if he knows everyone." The Master Chief snorted, "Old man It would be fun if you really asked him to show the receipt."

It's a pity that through the surveillance screen, Commander Du couldn't hear the Master Chief's suggestion, pointed to another person in the photo, and continued to question: "Then what about this? T-shirts and jeans are not necessarily some brand-name men's clothing, right?"

"Private soldiers have limited pay, and Private Schmidt has to support his parents. This is already his most expensive set of clothes." The colonel continued to make up.

"Don't the group even know Captain Zuomoer?" The military doctor and sergeant tilted his head, "His parents died during the Zixing earthquake. And he is quite rich. When his grandmother passed away, he He left a huge legacy, and he's still thinking about getting out of the military."

Commander Du stared at the photo and searched: "Then this one! What about this one? It's fine to wear a Hawaiian shirt, but also a grass skirt?"

The military doctor sergeant tugged at the military doctor captain: "Is it true that the group doesn't even know the two of us?"

Finally, the colonel did not call the wrong person this time: "This is the native Hawaiian wedding dress. Captain Jin found his true love and specially wore a wedding dress with his lover to meet his father, hoping that his father's spirit in heaven could see him happy. Commander Do you think the wedding dress is not formal enough?"

"And this!" Commander Du pointed to another person in the photo, "This one is even better, I don't even wear a shirt."

"Captain Meyer's live-in girlfriend has just given birth to triplets, and this is already the only piece of clothing he has not been soiled by baby vomit. Commander, don't you think that wearing clothes full of filth is a tribute to Jin Tuan who died heroically Is it even more disrespectful?"

"Ji, what's wrong with the regiment?" The military doctor sergeant became more and more confused, "Called Captain Gold as Meyer. Besides, Captain Gold is gay and infertile. How could he have a girlfriend? Also gave birth to triplets? Where did the Tuanzao hear this?"

"And this!" Commander Du pointed at a man in a sexy outfit that showed his buttocks, "The buttocks are all exposed! Why doesn't he wear a thong?"

The colonel replied eloquently: "Sergeant Schwartz is a lover of ancient Greek civilization. He believes that only a fit and handsome nude is enough to express the highest respect. This is already a conservative set of clothes he wears under my persuasion. Originally, he Not even going to wear a thong."

"How do you dress unconservatively? Like this?" Commander Du pointed to another one wearing C-line pants.

"Sergeant Kleiman is a Muslim Christian. "Bible Genesis" records that after Adam and Eve ate the fruit of good and evil, they used fig leaves to make clothes to cover their shame, provoking the wrath of the gods. Therefore, Christian Christians believe that people use their own It is the root of evil to be ashamed of your body. It is disrespectful to the gods for a Christian to cover the body created by the gods with clothes. He is willing to wear C-shaped pants, which is already a great compromise to the world. Even if he goes to the military The court accused me of abusing my power and forcing him to wear C-line pants, violating the county law and hindering his freedom of religious belief, and I have nothing to say."

……

The military doctor sergeant thought for a long time very seriously: "It seems that the regiment doesn't know who is in the photo at all. They just picked a lot of common surnames and made up random military ranks to fool the commander. Ji, is this right? Call it 'serious nonsense'?"

"Tangtang is so smart." The military doctor sergeant finally understood what it means to "talk nonsense in a serious manner", and the military doctor captain was really relieved.But as expected, goodness is as fast as success, and evil is as bad as death. Colonel Little White Rabbit has only been in the [-]th regiment for a month, and he has learned to speak nonsense without blushing and heartbeating.

Even the sergeant of the military doctor found that the colonel was actually teasing Commander Du. Commander Du himself had absolutely no reason not to notice, and stared at the colonel with a straight face: "Hot mom! Are you kidding me?"

The colonel had a serious face: "Does Commander Du feel that the humble post is a joke?"

The people in the monitoring room were watching the show through the monitoring screen, when the colonel's portal suddenly rang.

The colonel picked up the phone: "Have you arrived? Where are you?...Go upstairs and turn left, and the third door on the right hand side is marked 'Fire Hydrant'....That's not a fire hydrant, it's the door of the meeting room, Just come in."

The Master Chief slammed his fist on the console: "Fuck! He really doesn't treat himself as an outsider, so who is he going to bring in?"

The quartermaster suddenly took a deep breath, and then coughed from the smoke in his mouth.

With the sound of the door opening, the back of a woman in a kimono appeared on the monitor.From the direction of the surveillance camera, she can only be seen wearing a kimono with a gradual change from lotus root color to smoke gray, with silver hairpins inserted in Takashimada's bun, and the tassels of the hair accessories swaying with her steps, creating a blur.

"Zhenya!" As soon as he saw the woman in kimono, Commander Du greeted him with a smile on his face, "Why are you also in Shuichou? It's just right, I'm looking for you."

"It's Dr. Tian's sister, I thought it was Dr. Tian, ​​it scared me to death." The military doctor sergeant took out the business card that Sister Tian gave him, "Did Commander Du remember it wrong? Doctor Tian's older sister is called 'Li Ya', but her surname is also Tian, ​​not Zhen."

"It's a pity." The Master Chief shook his legs, "It would be fun if it was my younger sister. I don't know if the evil lady of our water state can scare the courage of Commander Du. Hey, Ulrich, What’s wrong with you?"

The Chief of Staff stared at the screen, as if he was out of his wits. The Master Chief gave him a hug before he came back to his senses, and swallowed a mouthful of saliva: "That's not my sister, it's Mistress Xie Xing herself."

"how do you know?"

The chief of staff pointed to the screen: "Don't you think they know each other?"

Commander Du didn't know that the disaster was approaching, so he affectionately pulled the woman in kimono by the wrist: "Come on, come on, sit down. Zhenya, it's really great that you can come. Let me tell you, your sister is very good this time." It's really outrageous, you have to teach her a lesson. It's really outrageous that this little girl who has no tutor took an indecent photo of the former chief of staff and posted it on the Internet! Fortunately, she I still listen to you, otherwise no one can stop her."

"Commander..." The woman in the kimono smiled coquettishly.

"Yes?" Commander Du also smiled like a sunflower.

"It turns out we can't even tell who we sisters are." The smile of the woman in the kimono instantly turned into a ghost. Commander kua, he was kicked so that his whole body flew up.

"Hiss..." Inside and outside the monitoring screen, all the men who witnessed this tragedy cried out in pain.

"Evil Star Empress!" Commander Du is worthy of being a general. After being hit hard, he was able to rely on his amazing perseverance. Not only did he not pass out from the pain, but he struggled to get under the table with his hands and feet, "Feng Colonel Harrenhof, get her out of here!"

"Commander Du, this is the doctor Tian you want to see." The colonel lowered his eyes, turned a blind eye to the scene in front of him, and continued to take out the bill and budget statement, "About letting the [-]th regiment live in the Shuizhou General Hospital during the reconstruction of the barracks Regarding the illness, do you want to discuss it with Dr. Tian in person?"

Dr. Tian lifted the tablecloth: "Du Menghe, you bastard, get out!"

"Man, don't come out if you can't say it!" Commander Du couldn't help but rejoice that the table in the meeting room is big enough. As long as he hides in it, Dr. Tian won't necessarily sneak in wearing a kimono, "It's useless for you to show your prestige to me here." How dare you take an indecent photo and threaten the former chief of staff, and post it on the Internet, someone will take care of you for me in the future."

"I haven't seen you for a few days, I've grown courageous." Dr. Tian rolled up his sleeves.

Everyone thought that she was planning to get under the table and drag Commander out in person, but she just opened the portal, and then started to play Commander's beeps on a giant screen taller than a person, and turned the volume to the maximum.

People in the [-]th regiment have never been so grateful that the sound insulation effect of the meeting room wall is first-class, and they can’t hear what is going on inside, just as they have never been so regretful about why they need to install microphones on the monitors in the meeting room. , So not only the conference room, but even the entire monitoring room was filled with the discordant cries of the commander beeping ladyboys, and they couldn't be turned off.What's worse is that the walls of the monitoring room are not soundproof at all!The surveillance camera in the corridor outside the monitoring room captured at least three people passing by outside, involuntarily casting strange glances at the monitoring room, wondering who was yelling so loudly inside.

"This... what is this?" Commander Du couldn't hide under the table.

"Your daughter made an adult video." Dr. Tian called up the electronic receipt on the portal to show Commander Du, "I met them outside the yacht just now, and they only charged [-] imperial dollars, and they sold the copyright of this video to me."

"Minghuang, Ruilin, Dad was really killed by you." Commander Du covered his face under the table.

"In other words, I now have the right to post this video anywhere I like." Doctor Tian smiled maliciously, "Little White Rabbit, you said that if I want to post this video on Chengren's website, Should you vote for CCAV or CCGV?"

"CCGV, after all judging from the primary sexual characteristics, transvestites should be considered male." Facing the video of Commander beeping transvestites on the screen, the colonel was as serious as participating in a military parade.

"That makes sense." Dr. Tian had a smirk on his face, "I just don't know how the higher authorities would feel when they found out that Commander Du made adult videos to make money in his spare time."

"No!" Commander Du crawled out from under the table, and when he saw the wooden clogs exposed from the hem of Dr. Tian's kimono, he realized that he had been fooled, and hurried to climb back.However, the space under the table was too small to move around. As soon as Commander Du's head entered, Dr. Tian grabbed his ankle.

"You've come out." Dr. Tian dragged the shouting and struggling Commander Du from under the table like a rag doll.

The people in the monitoring room felt like they were watching a horror movie, and the screams of Commander Du on the screen made the monitoring room more and more quiet and frightening.

After a long time, the Chief of Staff was the first to break the silence: "When did Doctor Tian come to Shuizhou?"

The captain of the military doctor thought for a while: "Ten years ago? What happened?"

"Otawara Lumina, the young medical prisoner, also started living in seclusion ten years ago." The chief of staff swallowed, "Why didn't we notice it before? 'Otawara Lumina' and 'Tian Luna' sound so similar. "

While speaking, Doctor Tian dragged Commander Du to the corridor outside: "Colonel von Hohenzollern was assassinated by a remote-controlled robot on the Shuizhou Expressway. If you don't check, if you don't check my portal was hacked, you still want to let me know." These dead gays were hospitalized with a cold? There was a series of car accidents on the Shuizhou Expressway last month, and the injured are still in the intensive care unit. Do you think we are not busy enough? Okay, the inpatient department of Shuizhou General Hospital is so comfortable, How about you come to 'inspect' first? It just so happens that a group of intern surgeons and nurses have come recently, and there is a shortage of people to practice."

"I don't want it!" Commander Du waved his hand, trying to ask the colonel for help, "Colonel von Harrenhof, save me!"

"Commander Du, in addition to the budget appropriation for rebuilding the barracks, there is also the 500th Regiment's credit for drinking at the Linhai Bar in order not to freeze to death in winter, about 740 million imperial dollars, plus four years of interest, a total of [-]. Wan Diyuan." The colonel walked unhurriedly at a place that Commander Du just couldn't catch.

The Master Chief patted the Quartermaster on the shoulder: "When did the little white rabbit ask you for the bill? You two are rich."

The quartermaster's portal suddenly rang, and it was a call from the colonel.