Alaska

"Merry Christmas, Uncle Marco!" Brittney waved at the iPad screen, and Marco waved back at her.

"Merry Christmas, dear. Better go to bed. Santa won't come to your house if you stay up."

She rolled her eyes. "He's sure to come. I drew him a whole fireplace so he could come in. Mama said you could draw a fireplace without a chimney."

"Your mother was right. She used to draw fireplaces too."

"And then Santa Claus came?"

"Come every year."

She frowned. "Uncle Marco, has someone painted your fireplace?"

"Not this year, dear."

"Then how is Santa going to find you?"

"Oh, he always has a way."

She pouted, and it took a moment before she decided to believe him. "Okay. If you see him, tell him I don't want a penis this Christmas. I want a dog."

"I'll tell him."

Brittney disappears from the screen, and Krista's face appears. "Where are we going to get a dog," she whispered, looking tired and happy.

"Okay, I'll send her a stuffed dog. Might work."

"Thanks, pony." She bit her lip. "We haven't sent you anything, money is tight, and—"

"It's okay. Children only want gifts." Xia Na donated a sum of money to LGBT organizations in his name, and he was already very satisfied.

"Well, Merry Christmas, Marco."

"You too. Hug everyone for me."

After the video call disconnected, he plugged his tablet into the charger and went to the fridge to get his eggnog.He takes a look at what he's eating these days—he's going to gain a few pounds if he's not paying attention—but there's nothing wrong with a Christmas indulgence.He poured a full glass to the living room and sat in his favorite chair.

He will have to move soon.He and Gavin had previously shared the apartment.This place is very nice, the supporting facilities are extremely convenient, and the salary of two people can afford the rent.Recently, though, their two-year relationship came to an end and Gavin moved out.

If he had to move, he should probably change cities.He could transfer to a chain in Phoenix or Long Beach.Hell, he should probably quit and find a different track.His ambition in life was not to be an assistant manager in an appliance store.

He could move to Alaska.

He figured he shouldn't think so much, and it was Christmas.Tonight he has a good book to read, a glass of eggnog to drink, and an Elvis song on the CD player.But none of this was enough to calm him down, so he rummaged through the empty room until he finally found the box containing the small handmade Christmas tree.He bought it the first year he and Gavin were together, and they hung strings of popcorn on it, and some foil sequins.Now Marco puts the Christmas tree on the coffee table and smooths out the branches.There are no decorations on the tree, no gift boxes under the tree, but it still looks festive.Maybe he could make a paper star and glue it to the top of the tree.A North Star.

Doorbell rang.

Marco was stunned for a long time, so long that he felt that the person who rang the doorbell must have left.His body was motionless, and his mind was churning into a seething whirlpool of emotion.He was happy because someone outside the door came to accompany him; he was worried because he didn't want to let his hope fail again.Then the doorbell rang again, and he stepped forward.The distance from the chair to the front door is like a continent - and when did the lock become so cumbersome and difficult to open?

"Hi Marco."

Scott's hair was darker and cut short.The beard is also clean-shaven.Those glacial eyes had lines extending from the end of the eyes.Thin but not shriveled, he was dressed in crisp jeans, a blue sweater, and a black leather biker jacket. "Can I come in?" he asked.

Marco didn't speak, and moved a step away to let him in.They stood awkwardly in the doorway for a moment, and Scott smiled nervously. "Is there... anyone else here?"

"Just me."

They stared at each other for a while, then Marco cleared his throat. "Want something to drink?"

"Well, sorry to trouble you. Some non-alcoholic." Scott lifted his chin slightly. "I haven't had a drink in eight years."

"You look fine."

"You too. You haven't changed, you're better than ever. Seeing you is like coming home."

Marco walked into the kitchen, not figuring out what Scott was trying to say in the last sentence. "Want eggnog?" he asked.

"it is good."

With all his willpower to keep his hands from shaking, Marco offered the glass.Scott took a sip and walked over to look at the tree. "How is the family?"

"Very good. Shana has a successful career, and Krista has a few children. She also quit drinking."

"Looks like you've been in the Northwest. Do you like Olympia?"

"Not bad. It's quieter here."

Scott reached out and adjusted a branch slightly. "I've been looking for you for a long time, and then I had to hire a private detective. Why didn't you leave me a new address later?"

"I thought... I thought you wouldn't want me again. Then I had Gavin..."

"Boy friend?"

"predecessor."

"It's a pity," Scott said earnestly.

"It's okay. We're happy together. He's the one who put me down when I needed it the most."

Scott turned to look at him. "stable?"

"I...have been more presumptuous for a while." Marco shrugged, "since my sisters moved out."

"You finally have a chance to enjoy your youth."

Marco snorted softly. "I didn't enjoy it that much, though. I'm just a half-slut." He closed his eyes tightly, then opened them again. "What about you, Scott? I was afraid you were dead."

"Almost, isn't it?" Scott sat down at the end of the sofa.God, he's still so handsome, even though his eyes are slightly clouded, but it's like the last few dark clouds after the storm clears.

Marco sat down beside him, about a foot away from him.Elvis Presley was still singing "I'll Be Home for Christmas" tenderly.

① I'll Be Home for Christmas, the works of Elvis Presley (Elvis Presley).

"Still haven't received your gift, Marco?"

Marco raised his arm so Scott could see his wrist. "The strap broke a long time ago and had to be replaced, but it's pretty much like the original one."

"Oh my god." Scott swallowed hard.

"I still haven't prepared anything for you. And I've never...never kept my promises."

"what are you saying?"

"The night you gave me the watch—the night on the roof—I promised to save you someday. But I didn't, never did."

Scott quickly slid off the sofa and knelt in front of Marco, holding Marco's cheek with one palm. "Of course you did, idiot. How else do you think I've survived until now, in front of you? Marco, you've been my rock for 20 years. No matter how bad life gets, I know you'll never leave Abandoned love for your family. You will value me, not belittle me. Every Christmas, even in the years I haven't seen you, I tell myself: hang on, hold on, next year you'll see Marco .”

"But you didn't come to see me." Marco's voice broke, and he couldn't meet Scott's eyes. "Ten years, Scott."

"I know. At that time... God, I was so miserable and hopeless. And yet you let me sleep next to you, hold you, and you treated me like...you still cared about me. You And let me take a shower, give me money, and give me clean clothes. I swore to myself that night that one day I would be worthy of you. You have done so much to take care of your family, and I want to be the one who takes care of you. "He laughed dryly. "The road is too long, too difficult, with a detour or two, and it's terribly cold."

"Cold?" This question may be a bit abrupt, but Marco is really dizzy.

Scott let go of Marco's face and took his hand. "I went to Alaska."

"You... say it again?"

"I joined a program, quit drugs, quit drinking, and went to Alaska. I got a job on a boat, processing fish. It was drudgery, but it was off the charts. After a few fishing seasons Well, in the summer I drove a tour bus in Juneau, picking up and dropping off cruise ship passengers. In the winter I found other work. I saved all my money, Marco. I bought a little gallery in Ketchikan. It used to be It was a brothel, but I fixed it up nicely and lived in an upstairs apartment. I sold my paintings, and some other artists’ paintings, and I had an online shop. I wasn’t rich, but I got by.”

It took Marco a while to digest this.Scott waited patiently.And when Scott spoke again, Marco hugged him. "I'm glad," Marco said, leaning on Scott's shoulder, "I'm glad you did it." He tried not to cry.Well, there may be times when George Bailey doesn't feel like jumping into the river.

Scott hugged him hard too. "Thanks to you, Marco. I mean—I've worked my ass off to get this far. But if it wasn't for you, I probably would never have made the effort. You made me want to let go. Wow. See? You saved me."

"But I-"

"No but," Scott said firmly.He put his hands on Marco's shoulders and moved back a little so they could see each other. "The private eye has found you. It took me a while to work up the courage to come here. I'm afraid you'll hate me for the way you saw me last time."

"I never—"

"I know. I think I know now. I thought you'd be mad at me after being away for so long."

Marco shook his head. "Sad. Worried. Not angry."

"Okay." Scott stood up.He took a few deep breaths, and grinned tremblingly. "Because I'm going to give you another Christmas present, Marco, and I really hope you can accept this gift." He took something out of his trouser pocket and put it under the tree.

Marco had to lift his neck a little to see.It was a key with an embossed bear on the metal keychain and the words: Alaska.

Scott looked as panicked as Marco, but he smiled anyway. "Come with me to Ketchikan, Marco. Be my family. Please."

A strange emotion swelled deep in Marco's heart.The emotion was so violent it nearly suffocated him.It squeezed out all the sadness and loss, and it took Marco a while to find the name of the emotion: joy.

Maybe Marco is moving to Alaska, but he knows he won't experience the real cold again.He flung himself into Scott's arms, sobbing.Scott's tears wet Marco's neck, and Scott's strong arms wrapped around him.Scott smelled like he always did—it smelled like home.

"Merry Christmas," Scott whispered.

It took a long time for Ma Ke to calm down and make a promise, "Then be happy forever."

-The End-

About the author

Kim Feilding is a prolific American BL author. She is a professor at a university in California. Most of the protagonists in Professor Kim’s stories are ordinary Americans, describing how they encountered all kinds of adversity and were finally rescued because of true love. This characteristic is particularly prominent in her masterpiece "Rattlesnake".