Lin Nianyouran gl

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During the saddest days, I thought about death, but when I thought of death, I was filled with fear.What I was afraid of was nothing else but how sad and heartbroken Youran would be after knowing the news of my death.

So, I can't die...

At that moment, I couldn't think of anything else.I can't think what will happen to my parents, what will happen to my family, all I can think of is her alone!!

From then on, maybe I should understand that she is my obsession, an obsession that I can never let go of for the rest of my life!!

But at that time, I didn't quite understand.I just know that she is my best friend and I like her very much.

Yes, like, not love.At that time, I saw an article about the difference between liking and love. The article said that I liked someone, so I wanted to chat with her endlessly.I love someone, but I can't say those words, because I will be nervous when I see her.

But at the time, I was a fool, so I believed it.So I always thought that I liked her, not love...

Since giving up the idea of ​​suicide, I have continued to write letters every two weeks.

It's just that such a day makes even me feel hopeless.However, I only have her in my heart, and I don't want to make her sad, so I have been working hard to persevere, hoping that one day my life will be easier.

In a blink of an eye, it was the fourth day of junior high school, and the learning tasks became more arduous, and the classmates stopped bullying me because there was no time.At that time, I studied from the past every morning until after nine o'clock in the evening, and I had to memorize a lot of English and classical Chinese.

We can only take one day off every two weeks, which makes us who previously had two days off every week can't bear it.But the class is still going on as usual, we have no rest time, we can only die of exhaustion every day, but we still have to study hard, just for the so-called high school entrance examination!!

In a state of extreme exhaustion, I still have to send a letter every half a month. It seems that only when I write and send a letter can I have a little joy in my exhaustion.

Although I never received her reply letter, but after thinking about it carefully, I decided to let it be! If I can’t receive it, forget it! As long as I know that she can receive my letter and know everything about me.

Because I often don't receive a reply, I will think about how she will comfort me in the reply. Sometimes I think too much, and I feel that I miss her more.

However, I did not take the senior high school entrance examination, but with the help of my family, I went to a medical school in another place again.

I mentioned the matter of going to a foreign school in my letter, but I couldn't call her to hear her voice.

Because at that time, she was in school and didn't have her own mobile phone.And for some time since then, I have temporarily lost contact with her.

Although I still wrote to her, I realized after a long time that she didn't really read my letter seriously.But it's true, I wrote one in half a month, I'm afraid she would be bored long ago, so why would she read it so carefully??

Chapter 5 After Parting ([-])

When I went to the medical school, I wrote in the letter what happened in detail, and what kind of people I met and what I experienced after I arrived at the medical school!

At that time, I had just gone to health school, and everything had to start all over again.I am also a little happy because I have been exposed to a new environment by myself.The previous depression disappeared without a trace as early as this time.

Because I came later, with the help of other students, I went to various places to pick up books and daily necessities.After my mother helped me take care of the things I used in school, I went back, and it was the first time for me to live in a dormitory by myself, facing a new life.

When I wrote a letter to Youran, I didn't have so much to say. In fact, the main reason was that I left the place where I felt suffocated and the source of pressure, and I felt more relaxed than ever before.

Under this kind of relaxation, there is nothing to do, and the learning tasks are not heavy, so there is nothing to say every day.I just said something casually, but it is not my strong point to have nothing to say, so more often, writing letters seems to be perfunctory.

But what I didn't expect was that I received Youran's reply on the first winter vacation when I returned home from school!!

I actually didn't know that her letter had arrived that day, because I was at school and didn't have a mobile phone to communicate with my family, so naturally I didn't know that I had received Youran's letter at home.

You Ran's letter was sent to my former relative first, because I couldn't receive her letter, so I asked her to send the letter to my relative's house, but because I went to another place again, I had to let my relative Send my letter again.

After such a delay, a month has passed, but I didn't know about it because I was in school at that time...

After I got home that day, I stayed at a friend’s house of my mother’s. It happened that my friend was having dinner with them. Most of them were people I didn’t know. The two people next to them quarreled for a few words, and then they started to fight.

Several people on the side stood there, not planning to help.It wasn't until the end that they were beaten until they were bleeding, that someone went over and pulled them away. At that time, I was already stunned in place...

I was actually scared that day, but my mother followed them to help send the injured to the hospital. She had no time to worry about me, so she could only let me go to the room first, so I went, and my mother's relative's niece, who was older than me, went with them. A few years older, I call her sister.

That sister took me into the room and helped me find the letter sent by my relatives.I opened the letter and saw You Ran's name written on it, so I opened it immediately.

As soon as I opened the letter, I saw that she said in the letter that she also went to the medical school to study, and it was about the same time as I went to the medical school...

In the letter, she described her life there in detail.I know she's not doing well.Her parents threw her there alone. The food there was not good and the cooking was unhygienic, and the school was in the suburbs, so it was very inconvenient to travel.

In addition, she was also unlucky, she either sprained her ankle or bumped her head.I read her letter full of complaints, as if seeing her sprained her feet on the stairs and bumped her head at the faucet, I felt very uncomfortable.

Along with that letter came two more letters, two of the ones she had written in the past that kept coming back, and she said it had been years since they were the only ones she had found, so that I could know she really was. What's more, he replied to the letter and didn't lie to me. (Because I couldn't receive her letters before, I asked her to put the past letters in an envelope and send them to me.)

Actually, I didn't suspect that she was lying.It's just that I really want to hear from her.Opening one of the letters, she saw that when she said she was going to send me a letter, the stamp was stolen. She was so angry that she jumped up, but there was nothing she could do.

I looked at the letter, smiled faintly, and picked up the last letter.

At that time, the sister next to me also picked up my letter and read it with my consent.

I opened the last letter and saw that she said this and that with a good attitude in the letter. Even when she fell from the car, she made a lot of interesting preparations in front of her.

However, no matter how interesting it is, it can't compare to the heartache I felt when I saw her fall from the car.She said that she was so sleepy in the car, she fell asleep standing up, but because of the negligence of the flight attendant, the door was not closed properly, because one of them braked, she fell out of the door in an instant, and her head was bleeding.

She never knew that when I saw these words, I, who was smiling, felt the scene of her falling out of the car door, but I couldn't help it, and burst out crying out of distress.

The elder sister beside me saw that I didn't speak, picked up the last letter and read it.But until I finished watching, I didn't see any expression changes on her face.

I knew it was because she was not familiar with Youran, and she couldn't understand my heartache at that time.I know that Youran was unlucky enough at that time, why did God still treat her like this??

Her family, especially those who were kind to her, either died or moved far away.I can understand how lonely she is now.