Look at each other

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As soon as I stepped into the school gate, I went straight to the office to look for traces of gifts on my desk.

The desktop is as clean as when I left on Friday, and the drawers are opened layer by layer, and there is no sign of presents inside.

Could it be Xia Xiaoyou's desk?

My eyes fell on Xia Xiaoyou's neatly arranged desktop, and I gave up the idea of ​​rummaging through boxes and cabinets.

When Xia Xiaoyou walked into the office, in order to avoid being too obvious about the expectation of the gift, after some pleasantries, I quietly brought the topic to the gift, and asked casually: "By the way, you said the gift from school Woolen cloth?"

"You knew it when you were in class."

Is it hidden in the classroom?How complicated is this psychology of looking forward to class and shrinking.I sighed indistinctly, as if I wanted to spit out all the emotions in my chest so that I could focus on the work at hand.

Until I carefully pushed open the classroom door, what greeted me was not a blackboard covered with chalk dust, glue hidden in corners, or even various simulated animals on the console, but the silence and uniformity of the room. A subtle gaze cast on me.

Just when I wondered if there was something on my face, I finally noticed the vacant position of Chen Fan.

"What happened to Chen Fan?"

"He was transferred to another class." An Jie explained to me nonchalantly.

Although the class without Chen Fan would not be free from tranced, dozed off, and talking students, at least there is no previous tense posture. After the "superior bird" left, those blatantly rampant people have also restrained themselves. After all, they are not like the school director's family. The Chen family can also get close. If Chen Fan is transferred to another class, it is uncertain whether they can stay.

Some time after that, I pretended to be casual and asked her if she had long thought of transferring Chen Fan away, saying that it was a gift for me and it was just going along with the flow, she didn't notice my expectant eyes at all, sincerely Nodded, but then added earnestly: "When I was just hospitalized, I thought about transferring Chen Fan away, but because I had to talk to...Xia Bangyan, I kept hesitating until I saw You made up your mind after worrying about the matter of Class [-] in those few days. Fortunately, he finally agreed. "

My sour mood that hadn't had time turned into a little bit of sweetness because of her earnest explanation.Thinking of the closer relationship between us since being hospitalized, I thought for a moment and asked: "Is the conflict between you and Uncle Xia because of your...your sexual orientation?"

She glanced over my slightly embarrassed face, and there was some surprise in her eyes.Although she never voluntarily mentioned her sexual orientation and never mentioned her ex-girlfriend, this matter seems to be a secret that we all know well. I know she is just surprised that I, who never asked about her personal affairs Take the initiative to ask such personal privacy issues.

"I, did I offend you?" I looked at her cautiously.It's late autumn, and the thick clouds in the sky are gray and heavy, without the bright golden sunshine in summer, her blue eyes are like ice crystals condensed in a weather bottle, and the mist spreads so that I can't see through .

"Nope." She seemed to put on a harmless smile to appease me, but the mist in her eyes did not fade away, "He is indeed angry with me because of my sexual orientation, he said I hate men, Get used to it if you get in touch with more, so there is a somewhat deformed class like the fourth class. But he is so stupid that he thinks that my sexual orientation will change if I get in touch with men more. He just wants to vent his disappointment in me, but It's more about his disappointment with himself. He thinks he has failed my mother's entrustment, but how can he know what my mother is thinking? If my mother is here, she will definitely say that as long as I am happy. So I am angry with him Angry at him for being self-righteous but not understanding my mother at all."

I looked at her lonely side face under the blurred sky, and a strange emotion suddenly appeared in my chest, like anger, heartache, and sourness. This impulse was rampant, and I just wanted to vomit quick.So I stared at her and said word by word: "Did no one tell you? Your smirk is so ugly."

After speaking, I turned the swivel chair to face her back and stopped looking at her. I heard her chuckle behind me, but didn't say anything.

The days that followed were peaceful without any disturbances, Xia Xiaoyou caught a cold, An Jie's mid-term ranking took a big step forward, and all kinds of small incidents became the big ones that he cared about in the time without any ups and downs.As the calendar turned page by page, Xia Xiaoyou and I became more and more acquainted. We always went to the cafeteria or made appointments in restaurants around the school. Occasionally, I would go to her house to "visit" and store in her The game console there, cook for her by the way, and she also taught me how to play games as a thank you.But I have never stayed overnight at her house, and all activities are limited to working days from Monday to Friday. It seems that meeting without private time has become the rule we both abide by invisibly.Such a boundary is very strange, but I never thought of going beyond it, and Xia Xiaoyou may be so addicted to the game time on weekends that he has no time to care.

The feelings of those girls who are always in spring seem to have entered the winter with the city and fell into a dormant period.Until one day when I returned to the office after class, I heard the conversation inside. Those little thoughts who had slept peacefully woke up from hibernation like bears whose territory had been violated, and declared their ownership with their teeth and claws.

There are only Xia Xiaoyou and Teacher Wen in the office. The "I like you" I heard just now should be Teacher Wen's voice, or that's what I expected.

I stood by the door and listened to the commotion inside with my breath held. The office was silent for a while before I heard Xia Xiaoyou speak slowly: "Thank you for your liking, but I am not ready to fall in love yet, besides, you are a good girl who deserves more love." good person."

Hearing her old-fashioned refusal, I eavesdropped outside the door and almost laughed out loud. At the same time, my suspended heart was put back into my chest.I didn't continue to eavesdrop, and went back to Class [-] classroom by the same route. I guessed that it was almost time to explain and then returned to the office.

When I returned to the office, Xia Xiaoyou was the only one sitting at her desk in a daze. I walked over and patted her on the shoulder, "Where is Teacher Wen?"

She recovered and looked at me, "She left first. Sure enough, you just heard it at the door, right? The situation is even more embarrassing.”

"Well, I was wrong."

"It's okay." She said with a dull expression. Since she said her smirk was ugly last time, she hasn't smirked in front of me again, or maybe it's just that I can't see it.

"May I ask why you turned her down?" I pulled up the swivel chair and sat down next to her.

She stared straight ahead without blinking, as if there was something in the air that I couldn't see, "You heard it just now, I'm not ready to fall in love yet, and she deserves better."

"I thought it was just a way for you to politely reject her."