Genshin Impact: I am the only one who can bring disaster to Teyvat

"The baby who was just born in March is actually a genius"

But the Candice version.

"Hello everyone! My name is Candice. I'm a little girl who was born three months ago. I still have a chubby face and my skin is so soft and smooth! The aunties outside often want to touch it."

As the pretentious voice slowly sounded, the belly with a bright smile painted on it trembled, and soft fingers pinched both sides and pulled back and forth. The big eyes of Cassandra that only appeared in the comics seemed to have a look of spirit.

"Many people like me because I am not only cute, but also a rare genius. Today, I am only three months old, but I have passed the test and become the village chief of Aru Village!"

"I am such a genius. I will not let my age limit my achievements, and I will not let anyone look down on me because of my age, but..."

"These are far from my limits! My talent is far beyond their imagination. Two days ago, I spent an hour learning 20 languages ​​because I knew that today, a noble fox would pass by."

"Aru Village needs revitalization. As the village chief, I have no choice but to use my wisdom to keep this noble fox and let him make improvements to Aru Village..."

"Candice..."

The void terminal provided by a kind person outlined a clear picture in front of her eyes. The smug voice kept echoing in her ears. Dixia, who was volunteered to watch, sat silently in the room, watching the smiling face constantly distorted due to the movement of her lower abdomen.

Dixia couldn't suppress the smile that rose up at the corners of her mouth, but she also couldn't suppress the sympathy and pity for her friend in her heart.

What kind of shape does it have to be injected into to be able to perform such a drama?

"Don't worry, I will keep this locked in my heart. No one will be able to learn this news from me until I go to the grave." Dixia swore softly.

The samurai Yingsai didn't care at all about Dixia's firm oath. He was now more focused on recording the current scene.

Facing the alchemy agency responsible for recording the video, the god of service Yingsai gave a thumbs up and smiled slightly, "Dear Great Guardian, don't worry about your friend being wronged by me. I will definitely entertain her warmly!"

"However, you also know that mercenaries live in danger. Your friend doesn't believe my identity and insists that I produce evidence to prove that I am your friend. I have no choice but to produce the video footage related to you."

The white-haired fox said righteously, "You know my character. If I had not had to, I would not have given away these precious collections. It is because your friend is too suspicious."

"Ah~ I don't know if you will believe me. After all, I know that my reputation with you seems to be a little bit bad. But even if you don't believe me, I still have to explain to you."

The attendant god Yingzhai shook his head and sighed: "It's not me..."

He suddenly stopped talking and opened the operating screen of the alchemy mechanism. The god-servant Yingzhai pressed the button and operated it skillfully, starting with the word "I", adding a period of lag to the video that should have been played smoothly.

Not much, just thirty minutes.

This kind of routine is the first time for Candice, not to mention that it has been paved with before, so she will definitely wait patiently!

The thoughtful white-haired fox did not forget to add the 'sizzling' sound, and in the lower right corner of the video, he also added a looping animation of the fox rolling around with the ball.

After completing these operations, the Samurai God Sakurasai appeared in front of the camera again.

"...Ha~ You don't really believe that the video will freeze, do you? Poor Great Guardian~ I really don't want to explain as you think, and I also know my reputation with you." The God of War Yingsai said complacently:

"The reason I prepared this video is just to tell you that your best friend knows about your dark history! Did you know that? Dixia once tried to avoid it, but under my threat, she was forced to watch it."

"Look how pitiful she is. In order to preserve your reputation, she had no choice but to compromise. She even had to write a 3,000-word review after watching the film. For a straightforward mercenary, this is very difficult, right?"

"Why don't you write it for me? Compared to her, who is just watching the video, you, as someone who experienced it firsthand, must be more sensitive. Hmm, I don't know if you will agree."

The fox tail swayed slowly, and the sensible attendant Yingzhai smiled and said, "How about this, I will postpone his review for two months! Let's see if your review will be sent in during these two months."

"I am so great and kind!"

"Great Guardian, the review you sent me now specifically praises my greatness and kindness. If necessary, you can also compare me with Yae Shinko. She is definitely not as good as me."

He stopped the recording, took out the blank canned knowledge, connected it to the alchemy mechanism and extracted the video. He wiped off the non-existent sweat that was created by the hard work of speaking, and the samurai Sakurasai waved his hand to turn off the sound of Dishia's void terminal.

"What do you want to do?" Dixia raised her head in a daze.

The lines in the video became more and more absurd. At least she couldn't imagine that words like "Humans, submit to me!" and "I swear in the name of Achmar, the Queen of Red Sand has returned again" would come out of Candice's mouth.

And even more outrageous, "I want to drink my own pussy juice." This was the last sentence Dixia heard before the sound was turned off.

The mental attack was just too great.

The attendant Yingsai praised sincerely, "You are very reliable, so on behalf of the Humayi family, I decided to hire you and your team members. I hope you can become a member of the bodyguard team for this trip to Mond."

"...Ah, it's a long-distance mission."

"As expected of the famous Blazing Lion, your answer is decisive and resolute. I can hear the confidence in your words that you are sure to win. Is this the aura of a great mercenary? Hiring you will not be a wrong decision!"

Dixia was listless. "It's the Blazing Lion. And how did you sound so confident? I haven't recovered from the video just now. Candice's voice...ah, we can't drink alcohol on this mission."

This was a euphemism. Dixia never drank alcohol during a mission, and the rules of "Blazing Beast Hunter" were very strict. She was reminding herself to pay attention to the drinking water sources along the way.

Dixia didn't want her dark history to fall into the hands of the fox in front of her.

"You really do your job well. Keep up the good work, Adi! I have confidence in you. You will definitely have a bright future." The attendant god Yingzhai encouraged enthusiastically.

"...I'll ask my teammates to prepare their luggage."

"We will set off tomorrow morning, at seven o'clock, in front of Humayi's house. Don't forget."

◇

"Whew - delicious as always."

At night in Humayi's house, the attendant Yingzai scooped a large spoonful of curry rice and narrowed his eyes contentedly, "I have done the job you asked me to do. Dishiya and her teammates will be waiting outside on time tomorrow."

Shazaman asked worriedly, "You should be very natural and not let her suspect anything, right? The child's elder has some connection with my family, but he doesn't want Dishia to know about it."

"Doubt? Humph~ Don't doubt my professionalism. When Dixia accepted the job, she didn't have enough brainpower to think, so how could she notice something wrong?" The furry fur slapped the table leg, and the attendant god Yingzai said proudly.

“…It doesn’t sound like a good thing.”

Shazaman became even more worried: "You didn't knock him out and force him to sign the employment contract, did you?"

This was not without precedent. There was once a group of Gilded Brigade with a not-so-clean background who were unwilling to be employed by the Samurai Sakurasai, but they voluntarily signed the employment contract the next day.

Then he left the city in a coma with the attendant god Sakurasai.

On the fourth day after leaving the city, these gilded brigades came back in tears and confessed in detail the crimes they had committed, even revealing the color of the underwear they wore that day.

The attendant Yingzhai was suspicious: "If you are so worried, why don't you hire them yourself?"

"It's not that I don't want to, but the elder from Dixia seems to be a little bit off. I've been worrying about this issue for the past two days and have no free time. Fortunately, if it were me in the past, I would only think about how to persuade him."

Shazaman smiled thankfully and said, "But now I have become extraordinary because of your influence. He is now locked up with a top psychiatrist. I will chat with him whenever I have time."

The attendant god Yingzhai exclaimed: "When did you acquire such amazing wisdom?"