Football: Don’t talk about feelings, I’m just an AI

In the home team's locker room, the laughter seemed to have wings and spread far away.

It’s not that the players look down on their opponents, but because the team has two lively guys, Sterling and Lukaku. With their "noise", it’s hard not to be happy in the locker room.

However, at this moment, Guardiola rushed in, seemingly angry, and instantly made the atmosphere in the entire locker room stagnant.

Guardiola, this talented coach, has an arrogance as sharp and conspicuous as a sword drawn from its sheath.

Whether in his past playing career or his current coaching career, he is undoubtedly a genius.

Fuck it! Footballs are round!

There will be no upsets under Guardiola! Say no to upsets starting today!

Guardiola stood in the middle of the locker room, calmed himself down, then clapped his hands to attract the players' attention.

“Tonight is my first Premier League game in charge and I need a gift,” he announced loudly. “Win ​​this game by three goals and I’ll give you a day off.”

Then he added: "I don't want a miserable victory, I want a big victory!"

The players looked at each other, not understanding why Guardiola was so angry.

But they still shouted in unison: "Yes!"

Seeing the players' absent-minded look, Guardiola emphasized: "What I want is a hearty victory!"

"Yes, sir!" everyone responded in unison.

Looking at Guardiola's serious face, they realized that the boss was really angry today.

They didn't dare to offend him, so they responded loudly.

at the same time,

In the visiting team's locker room,

Alan Pardew is encouraging the players:

"Guardiola thought he had won, but he forgot that football is a sport that is never determined by paper strength alone."

He said: "So what if the opponent is strong? The ball is round! Think about Denmark. Who would have thought that they would perform the incredible Danish fairy tale in the European Cup?"

He went on to say, “We have to press forward and put pressure on them in the front court.”

"You are only worth half of what they are. The more you embarrass them tonight, the more they will raise your value!"

Alan Pardew is indeed a well-known civilian coach who understands the mentality of the middle class very well.

After a few words, the Newcastle United players turned into howling hungry wolves and shouted:

"Kill them!"

Rush out of the locker room.

...

...

Four or five seconds ago:

"Ding Dong"

"Please host select 'training' or 'competition' mode."

"Contest"

"Please host choose the court position: A forward, B..."

"TO"

"Detecting that the host's team is in trouble at this time, matching the host's [Assassin's Creed] attributes."

"The Zhao guest wears a Hu tassel, and the Wu hook shines brightly with frost and snow. The silver saddle shines on the white horse, which gallops like a meteor.

Kill one person every 10 steps, and leave no trace in a thousand miles. When the work is done, leave, hiding your identity and name.

"Please host choose 'autonomous mode' or 'one-click hang-up mode'"

"Warm reminder: During the hang-up period, the host will automatically complete various indicator actions by the system."

"Hang up with one click!"

"Easily hang up, automatically complete with one click, free your feet, and bring a relaxed and happy stadium experience to the host! The game experience has officially begun."

Then Xia Qi's whole temperament became more CEO-like,

A wordless power filled his whole body, his muscles were tense, his thoughts were clear, and his fighting spirit was high.

...

...

"Dear audience members, let me now introduce you to the starting lineups of the two teams."

"Manchester City wore their traditional blue jerseys and manager Guardiola deployed a 4231--- attacking formation.

Their starting goalkeeper is Joe Hart.

On the defensive line: right back Zabaleta,

The left back is Kolarov.

The central defender is the familiar Belgian and Manchester City captain Kompany, who partners with Demichelis.

The defensive midfielders are Yaya Toure and Fernandinho.

Three forwards, Sterling on the right, De Bruyne in the middle, and Xia Qi on the left.

The striker is Lukaku.

"Newcastle United wore a black away jersey and their starting lineup was a 451 formation.

Starting goalkeeper: Krul

Right back: Janmaat

Centre-backs: Coloccini, Williamson

Left back: Dummett

The five midfielders are: Sissoko, Kolbek, Cabela, Gufran and Anita.

Solo striker: Perez. "

"The old coach Alan Pardew has a really stubborn personality! Not only did he dare to irritate Guardiola at the press conference, he even confronted Guardiola in the lineup!"

"No matter what the result of the game is, Alan Pardew's spirit of daring to show his sword deserves our recognition and respect. I am reminded of a line by Li Yunlong: I am fighting against the elite!"

"After hearing what you said, I feel so conflicted! I hope that Alan Pardew, who dares to show his sword, can win, but I also don't want Xia Qi to lose!"

"Ha ha!……"

"Beep!"

"Dear audience, the game has begun!"

...

...

Generally speaking, at the beginning of a match, both sides would often go through a phase of mutual probing, before gradually picking up speed and entering a white-hot state of anxiety...

However, in this game, Guardiola has already issued a death order. Manchester City feels that it is not difficult to complete the boss's instructions, and they go all out as soon as they step onto the field!

On the Newcastle United side, those players who were eager to increase their value were all furious. After coming on the court, they did not even try to test the opponent, but directly started a "rock-paper-scissors" contest!

……

"Alan Pardew must have done a very deep analysis of Manchester City, so that Xia Qi's opening kill failed."

"It's a good deal to sacrifice a free kick in the backcourt to disrupt Manchester City's quick attack."………

"After 20 minutes of play, Manchester City had 70% possession, which is a terrifying ratio."

"Guardiola is indeed a system coach. Although Manchester City's playing style is different from Barcelona's Tiki-Taka, the pursuit of ball possession is exactly the same."

"Newcastle United played very well. Although the situation was very passive, their defense was very tenacious. Of course, this was also related to the joy brought by Lukaku and Sterling."

“Is it so difficult to admit that Newcastle United has the strength to compete with Manchester City?”

“Haha, Newcastle United’s performance was indeed somewhat beyond my expectations.

On the court,

Newcastle United's performance was extremely eye-catching.

They made targeted defenses when facing Manchester City's long and short passes and wall combinations.

They intensified the rapid running in the midfield, pressed closely, and made fierce steals, even at the cost of committing fouls to disrupt Manchester City's fast breaks.

At the courtside,

The coaches on both sides were much more nervous than the players on the field.

Guardiola spread his hands towards the players on the field to express his confusion, and then held his head and exclaimed in disbelief.

Alan Pardew was like a chicken with blood, constantly cheering for the players, his palms were almost broken from clapping, and his throat was dry and smoking...