Football: Don’t talk about feelings, I’m just an AI

“Dear audience, warmly welcome everyone to watch the first pre-season warm-up match of the 2014-2015 season.

In today's game, we are not restricted by the number of substitutions, which will give both teams greater tactical flexibility.

Although the transfer window is still open, the transfer activities of these two teams have basically been completed.

Through this game, we will be able to make a preliminary assessment of the effectiveness of their new signings and look ahead to their prospects in the upcoming Champions League season.

Now, let's take a look at the starting lineups for both teams:

Manchester City played in a 4-5-1 formation.

The goalkeeper is Joe Hart.

The back line consists of Zabaleta, Kompany, Demichelis and Kolarov.

The five midfielders are Yaya Toure, Fernandinho, De Bruyne, Silva and our Xia Qi.

Lukaku plays as a striker.

Barcelona played in a 4-3-3 formation with Bravo as goalkeeper.

The back line includes Montoya, Pique, Alves and Alba.

The midfield three are Rakitic, Iniesta and Busquets.

On the front line, Neymar, Suarez and Messi will attack together.

It is worth noting that Xavi and Ter Stegen did not appear in the starting lineup today.

I hope today’s match can bring you a wonderful football feast! ”

...

...

Four or five seconds ago:

"Ding Dong"

"Please host select 'training' or 'competition' mode."

"Contest"

"Please host choose the court position: A forward, B..."

"TO"

"Detecting that the host's team is in trouble at this time, matching the host's [Overlord Lifting the Tripod] attribute."

"An eight-foot-tall general can carry a thousand-mile horse and move mountains and lift tripods."

"Please host choose 'autonomous mode' or 'one-click hang-up mode'"

"Warm reminder: During the hang-up period, the host will automatically complete various indicator actions by the system."

"Hang up with one click!"

"Easily hang up, automatically complete with one click, free your feet, and bring a relaxed and happy stadium experience to the host! The game experience has officially begun."

Then Xia Qi's whole temperament became more CEO-like,

A wordless power filled his whole body, his muscles were tense, his thoughts were clear, and his fighting spirit was high.

The referee's sharp whistle pierced the sky above the stadium, and Barcelona took the first kick-off.

Before the game, the players of both teams drank the chicken soup prepared by the head coach himself, and they were so excited that they felt like they had been injected with chicken blood.

However, at the beginning of the game, the impact of the World Cup seemed to completely offset the effect of this chicken soup.

Most of the players were in a sluggish state, except Xia Qi who was different by just pressing one button to hang up.

After Barcelona kicked off, the ball was quickly intercepted by Yaya Toure.

Then a long pass followed, and Xia Qi shot out like an arrow.

At the front of Barcelona's penalty area, Xia Qi caught the pass steadily.

Busquets, who was defending him, came over lazily, but his speed...

The commentator couldn't help but shout: "My 80-year-old grandmother can run faster than him!"

"Xia Qi hits the door!"

“This is a high-quality long shot!”

Amid the hysterical shouts of the live commentator, the football drew a gorgeous arc in the air, just passed by Pique's ear, just passed through the fingers of goalkeeper Bravo, and then went into the net.

"Kill at the start!"

"Another opening kill! In the World Cup, Xia Qi often takes advantage of his opponent's inattention at the beginning of the game to launch a sneak attack."

"Now he uses the same trick to take the lead."

There was a deafening booing in the Camp Nou stadium.

After Xia Qi scored the goal, he glanced at Messi, Suarez and Neymar with an indifferent expression. The three of them avoided his gaze and did not dare to look at Xia Qi.

But the three of them soon reached a consensus and decided to take the game seriously, and immediately gave Xia Qi a response.

However, after the game resumed, Barcelona's performance was still unsatisfactory, and Manchester City was similar.

Xia Qi, who only has one button to hang up, is extremely active on the court!

He was not affected by his post-World Cup slump at all. He ran around the field like a whirlwind, as if he was everywhere.

Neymar tried to break through De Bruyne by passing the ball to him, but his pass was intercepted by Xia Qi halfway.

"Neymar failed to pass the ball, and Xia Qi's defensive support was timely."

"Let's see how Manchester City fights back."

On the court, Xia Qi passed the ball to De Bruyne, and he took the initiative to exchange positions with Silva.

De Bruyne rushed forward a few steps in the middle and made a long pass, accurately to Xia Qi on the wing.

On the left side, Xia Qi passed the ball and easily passed Busquets, while Iniesta came over to assist as if he was prepared.

Xia Qi deliberately waited for him to get close, and then he threw a fried meatball and easily passed Iniesta, who was good at this skill.

After passing Busquets and Iniesta, Xia Qi broke through to the top corner of the penalty area.

Xia Qi originally wanted to continue sinking to the bottom and look for an opportunity to cut inside.

But at this moment, Lukaku rushed into the penalty area from the middle like a tank. He suddenly knocked Pique away and instantly created an excellent shooting opportunity.

Xia Qi immediately dribbled the ball, broke through Montoya's defense, and made a low cross, which moved quickly along the grass.

Lukaku was overjoyed. He immediately stretched his legs back, turned sideways to meet the rolling football, and shot!

But, he missed!

He actually missed!

Lukaku volleyed the ball but failed to hit it.

Lukaku's kick missed the target. Due to excessive force, he spun around due to inertia and fell to the ground with his back facing the sky.

Although Lukaku missed the shot, he misled goalkeeper Bravo.

He quickly dived to the side as Lukaku swung his leg forward.

Lukaku's shot was in vain.

Bravo's save was a puff of air.

The football stuck to the grass and whizzed forward until it reached the far post of the goal, hit the inside of the post and bounced into the net.

2: 0!

"The ball is in!"

"Oh my god! Is this what the media calls the Koi bonus? Xia Qi's pass-like shot, a non-threatening kick, opened the goal guarded by Bravo, and Manchester City leads Barcelona 2:0!"

After the ball went in, Barcelona goalkeeper Bravo's reaction was a mixture of surprise and disappointment.

When he saw Lukaku swinging his leg, he instinctively made a flying save, diving his whole body to the side, trying to block the shot that was supposed to go in.

However, the football rolled quietly into the goal from the opposite direction of his dive, which made his side dive look particularly ridiculous.

this moment,

It doesn't matter whether Lukaku deliberately missed the ball or was just playing happy football.

He - Bravo!

It has become the background wall of this goal and will surely appear repeatedly on major TV stations... Bravo sighed deeply and slapped the grass hard a few times to express his regret.

His teammates seemed equally disappointed. They were also misled by Lukaku. So many people didn't even try to destroy the football that didn't pose much of a threat.

The ball went in!

Lukaku!

Although he was quite embarrassed by his empty swing, a happy smile immediately broke out on his face when he saw the ball finally go into the net.

He quickly got up from the ground, let out a strange cry, and then rushed towards Xia Qi excitedly, as if he had completely forgotten his previous gaffe.

"Xia, that leak of mine is beautiful, isn't it?"

"I think your fall was even more beautiful!"

"Xia, you will have no friends if you do this!"

The commentator sighed deeply and said: "Xia Qi stood in the middle of the court, drew his sword and looked around, all of them were weak soldiers, not a single one of them could match his general... He could score even if he passed the ball to the middle."

(Not in good condition, so I’ll write these first. I’ll update as usual tomorrow!)