Jin Shao, kiss

It's not that Xu Jian was jealous of Jin Hanzhou, she just missed the former Jin Hanzhou a little bit.

Maybe it was Jin Hanzhou who missed the past too much, Xu Jian showed nostalgia, and said straightly, "You used to be so jealous, but now..."

Just halfway through her words, Xu Jianyi suddenly stopped talking.

She subconsciously lowered her eyes to look at the man, who gave her a weak smile, "I'm sorry, the Jin Hanzhou you want may not come back."

Looking at the man's powerless and apologetic face, Xu Jianyi's heart felt as if a needle had been pricked suddenly, she subconsciously bent down and hugged him, "Jin Hanzhou, it's okay, it will get better."

Xu Jianyi's words did not play a comforting role, and Jin Hanzhou's mood still sank at a speed visible to the naked eye.

Jin Hanzhou felt very depressed and powerless.

Now he can't feel joy, pain, or sadness, let alone jealousy.

If Xu Jianyi hadn't pulled him hard, he would probably be sitting quietly somewhere right now.

As soon as Xu Jian came back, someone took the child, Jin Hanzhou's spirit seemed to relax all of a sudden, he didn't want to go anywhere, he didn't want to talk to anyone, he just wanted to stay somewhere quietly, doing nothing, Just stay like that.

Jin Hanzhou was still willing to deal with Xu Jianyi because he thought she was right and he shouldn't neglect her.

But thoughts and actions are separate, and what he thinks in his mind is not consistent with actions at all.

Whenever Jin Hanzhou tried to take the initiative to hug Xu Jianyi, he couldn't help but see Xu Jianyi's hatred and curse towards him in his hallucinations.

His body seemed to have formed a muscle memory response, and he was afraid to take the initiative to hug Xu Jianyi.

It seemed that as soon as he took the initiative, Xu Jianyi would immediately disappear before his eyes like a hallucination.

It's not that Jin Hanzhou doesn't know that if he continues like this, Xu Jianyi will soon get tired of him, find him boring and boring, and then leave him.

But people seem to always like to test how good people who are good to them can treat themselves.

Jin Hanzhou's mind now is more or less a gambler's mentality.

He was betting how long Xu Jianyi could stay with him this time.

In the past, Jin Hanzhou would fight for it, and even thought about using extreme methods to keep Xu Jianyi by his side.

But later he discovered that Xu Jianyi was a sand he couldn't hold, the tighter he held it, the faster she passed away.

Simply because the current him doesn't want to hold her anymore, he allows her to come and go freely by his side.

He accepts her when she comes, and if she leaves, he will no longer beg for her to keep her.

Jin Hanzhou and Xu Jianyi were unequal from the very beginning.

Xu Jianyi is the light, and Jin Hanzhou is the abyss.

The abyss cannot brighten its own world by itself, but light can choose whether to illuminate that abyss.

From the moment Jin Hanzhou regarded Xu Jianyi as redemption, he was doomed to be the one who was manipulated by Xu Jianyi.

So it was never Jin Hanzhou not wanting Xu Jianyi, but whether Xu Jianyi wanted Jin Hanzhou or not.

Although he is a gambler, Jin Hanzhou still has fear and anxiety in his heart.

Especially thinking of Xu Jian and his nostalgic look in the past, Jin Hanzhou felt suffocated for a while, and he subconsciously wanted to escape, "I'll go and make it easier."

Carrying Xu Jianyi off his lap and putting him on the sofa, Jin Hanzhou almost ran away and hid in the bathroom.

Looking at the closed bathroom door, Xu Jian's eyes were full of regret, regretting that she was still not careful enough.

She said the wrong thing.

She made Jin Hanzhou feel a burden.

He finally got better...

in the bathroom.

Jin Hanzhou propped his hands in front of the washstand.

Looking at the expressionless and numb expression in the mirror, like a walking dead, so closed in his heart that he dare not embrace her actively, and is afraid of being stabbed by her, Jin Hanzhou can't help thinking, how much patience can Xu Jianyi spend with him? .

will she leave?

The reason why she was able to tolerate his lack of love back then was because she blamed herself for killing her brother and felt guilty about her brother's heart in his body.

Now that she no longer harbors guilt in her heart, how long will Xu Jianyi be able to take the initiative without the blessing of guilt?

She is not short of love, without Jin Hanzhou, there are still others who hold her in the palm of her hand, before her adoptive brother, then Gu Xijue, that e-sports player, and even that young master Yan.

With so much love for her, Jin Hanzhou's love is probably not so indispensable to her. Without Jin Hanzhou, she still has many people's love.

She is not like him, as long as she is willing to smile at him, he will be extremely rare, wishing to hide her and prevent others from stealing her.

If the more you love, the more you can't get it, why do you still love deeply?

Jin Hanzhou laughed at himself in the mirror, then turned on the tap and washed his face.

Xu Jianyi wanted the old Jin Hanzhou, but Jin Hanzhou didn't want to be that Jin Hanzhou who was worried about gains and losses anymore.

In the past, Xu Jianyi always wanted Jin Hanzhou to learn to love himself.

But Jin Hanzhou, who had learned to love himself, was too timid to love again. He was afraid of being left behind again. He carefully guarded that heart that was already full of desperation, and dared not give it up easily.

-

After Jin Hanzhou came out of the bathroom, Xu Jian came over and hugged him.

"Jin Hanzhou, it doesn't matter if you are tired. You used to take the initiative, but now I take the initiative. You just need to feel at ease."

In the past, it was Jin Hanzhou who took the initiative, but Xu Jianyi has been accepting, so the contribution seems to be less.

Compared with Jin Hanzhou in the past, Xu Jianyi had to admit that in that relationship, she accepted far more than she gave.

So much that her love for Jin Hanzhou seemed so insignificant under his overflowing love.

Jin Hanzhou can abandon everything for her without hesitation, but she will make a decision after weighing.

In the past, Jin Hanzhou loved sensibility, and she loved rationality.

All of this, let her be emotional once, and Jin Hanzhou rational once.

Feelings, there must always be one party to take the initiative.

Jin Hanzhou took the initiative in the past, but now it doesn't matter if she takes the initiative.

Love is mutual, she can't always be the recipient, but occasionally she has to take the initiative.

Jin Hanzhou didn't expect Xu Jian to say this for a while, and he lowered his eyes to look at her.

Xu Jianyi just looked up at him.

The eyes of the two met for a moment, Xu Jian wrapped his arms around Jin Hanzhou's neck, and kissed him on tiptoe, "Jin Hanzhou, this time I will love you instead."

The moment she kissed her, Jin Hanzhou held her waist, rolled his throat, opened his lips and said, "I may still be like this for a long time. I can't change back to the Jin Hanzhou you wanted before."

"It's ok."

Xu Jianyi affectionately kissed Jin Hanzhou's lips.

When she was trying to pry his lips and tongue open, Jin Hanzhou grabbed the back of her neck, pressed her against the wall of the bathroom door, and kissed her back deeply.