Summoner of Pirate World

"how long have you been here"

"How long, huh, I can't remember. Time has no meaning to me, maybe decades, maybe hundreds of years. I only know that when I first came here, there was no place in this world at all. familiar place."

"I thought I came quite early."

"Do you think it's good that you came early?"

"The earlier you come, the more opportunities you have, and you can play a role in the rules while the situation is still undecided."

"Oh, you think too much. Rules are beyond the reach of mortals. If I could, I would have given up this body of flesh long ago."

"Isn't it good to be immortal and immortal?" Roy asked.

"Immortal," Gates murmured, "Is it good?" he asked. "Powerless immortality, what's the point of watching the people you care about die one by one and turn into withered bones? That's what those in power long for, because they stand at the top of the world. Apart from that, they have nothing else to pursue. But for ordinary people, living too long is a punishment."

He was silent for a moment and smiled: "You are too young."

"Young" Roy raised his eyebrows.

Gates stood up and said: "Have you ever felt the war? Have you ever known the heat of bullets flying in front of you? Have you ever felt life passing by in your arms? Have you ever slept in a mountain of corpses and a sea of ​​blood? Have you ever carried a hail of bullets with all your might? Are you running like a madman?" He became more and more excited as he spoke, his eyes red.He patted his head and said, "These are nothing. The most painful thing for people is that they have memories that cannot be forgotten. They can only be immersed in painful memories for a long time and cannot escape. It's like being sentenced. An inescapable life sentence.”

Roy stopped talking. Gates was right, he was too young.But in his 20s.I have never started a business, never served in the military, and have never fought in a war.I have never felt the heat of a bullet, nor have I experienced the death of a loved one.

The only experience he has that is richer than ordinary people is just the fleeting images in his wild mind.

Gates did not elaborate on the pain he had experienced, but with just a few simple words, every word pierced Roy's heart like a knife, making him feel the same.

Tears fell down the corners of his eyes.

It's hot and a little salty.

Roy is a rational person, and few things can move him. Even at the funerals of relatives and friends, he can maintain a thin composure.But he is also very emotional, and when faced with something that touches him, he can always experience the pain as if he were experiencing it personally.

Over the years, everything around him was changing, but he himself remained young.He is like a passer-by outside the torrent of time. Everything in this world has nothing to do with him and is powerless to change.I can only watch everything I care about gradually move away from me, so helpless.

"I once tried feeding them my own flesh and blood, hoping that this would make them live as long as me, but it was of no use. It was like a curse imposed on me alone, so that I could only be forced to Accept this. During those long years, I once left the crowd and fled to a desert island, thinking that I would no longer accept the pain of loss. I thought that as long as enough time passed, I would gradually become numb and lose The emotions and will that belong to humans make one no longer have thoughts and consciousness, and become a walking corpse, dying in another unique way."

"But you failed."

"That's right." Gates' Adam's apple squirmed. "It's like the will of the world. No matter where I escape, I can't avoid my fate. Until later, I chose to forget,"

"Can be forgotten"

"I built a wall in my memory palace and opened up a separate room. The room was very cramped and had nothing. When I woke up from under the tree, I was like a newborn, as clean as a piece of paper. .I learned to walk and forage like a child. Gradually, for various reasons, I slowly integrated into the crowd and began to learn to live like a human being. I worked as a slave and was adopted by kind people. Because I will not die, I was even regarded as a god by the church. I was betrayed and said that I was a demon who sucked the lives of others. I was hanged in front of the church door. Whenever my memory comes back, I will build a new wall. Close me up so that the pain will be kept to a minimum."

"An infinite loop with no end." Roy's Adam's apple squirmed.

"Yes, this is an endless loop. If possible, I would rather do it. But because of the constant closing and forgetting, those walls can't block me. For a long time, I even created something like this Me one after another.”

"Multiple Personalities"

"Yes, and it is much more serious than multiple personalities in the traditional sense. Because each of their lives is very long, and for them, time will only make them gradually stronger. In those long years, Without my knowledge, their strength was horribly accumulated. For this, I suffered for a long time, which made me even more eager to die. I spent a long time solving this dilemma. , slowly let yourself learn to adapt.”

"You killed them"

"No, we just fused. For some reasons, we reached an agreement, and they took the initiative to fuse in. Since then, I have become smarter, but I can no longer call them out, and I can no longer escape."

Roy became silent. As a writer of suspense and thriller novels, few of the characters he wrote were normal, and he also wrote about multiple personalities.He sometimes even wonders if he has multiple personalities, but he understands this aspect.

He can understand Gates's dilemma.When many wills are filled in a person's mind, you will often be in a state of confusion. In a small room, it can only accommodate one person, but if more people are forced into it, it will inevitably become crowded and conflicts will occur. It is inevitable.

But when all personality disappears, there will be an emotion similar to loss, as if something has been lost.Suddenly I feel like I have sublimated, as if I am no longer the same person I used to be.

smarter

Even thinner

More calm

"It's a wonderful feeling. I can't say whether it's good or bad. Regardless of whether it's good or bad, I can only accept it and can't refuse it."

"Then, why are you telling me this? It's just because you met a fellow villager and wanted to reminisce about old times."

Gates shook his head: "I want to ask you to do me a favor."

"What's the business?" Roy asked.

Gates raised his head, looked at Roy, his eyes were pure and hot, and said slowly in a deep voice: "Kill me."