I’m Not a Scumbag

At six in the morning, Lin Fang opened his eyes naturally.

I didn't sleep well last night, and the dream was full of crimson. Xia Xuejian, Hu Qingchan, Huang Yanling, Huang Linlin, Liu Shiman, Meng Zuer...a dozen girls appeared in front of him like a revolving lantern.

I don't know if the mattress in the hotel is too soft, or if I don't sleep well enough in the unfamiliar Beijing.

Even if he didn't sleep well all night, Lin Fang didn't sleep for a while, and woke up naturally after stepping on the biological clock.

It was pitch dark in the hotel, and he couldn't see his fingers. Lin Fang turned on the bedside lamp, glanced at the tight blackout curtains, and walked over to open the two layers of curtains, and then opened the windows.

The cold wind from outside blew in, bringing a bit of fresh air.

In his previous life, Lin Fang had read too many news reports about the sandstorms in northern Beijing, and thought that the air here was not good. What surprised him was that the air in northern Beijing at six in the morning was actually much better than that of a land of abundance like Jincheng.

Lin Fang thought about it deeply, and felt it was a matter of course.

After all, it is the place of the first good. Over the years, it has always been an unswerving policy to plant trees in the Three Norths with the power of the whole country, and Internet giants have assisted by the side.

This piece of Yanhuang land, which had raised Lin Fang for two lifetimes, was getting better and better.

In the last life, although he did not seek to be motivated, he stayed in a small and broken enterprise as a pensioner, and in the end he also had unit benefits for traveling abroad. After a few laps, Lin Fang had only one feeling that he would still be a flower gardener in the next life.

But I didn't expect that, benevolence and benevolence, although the world has crossed, inexplicably has a sister and a bunch of ex-girlfriends, but I am very lucky, still a flower gardener.

After a simple wash, Lin Fang put on the sports suit that was specially packed in the suitcase. After a few minutes of activity, he did a warm-up. Then he took the room card and was ready to go out.

Lin Fang has an arm bag tied to his arm. This bag is small and has two pockets. It can hold a mobile phone, keys, and some change. It is very suitable for morning runners who have a lot of practice habits.

Lin Fang was not familiar with the surroundings when he first came to Beijing, so he thought about the opportunity to jog in the morning and familiarize himself with the environment.

It stands to reason that the cases of Xu Yingshan and He Wanting are not complicated, and Hu Qingchan has even prepared for the response and out-of-court reconciliation, and it is easy to close the case.

But Lin Fang didn't know how long he was going to stay in Beijing.

But at the latest, Lin Fang will only stay until school starts.

In the blink of an eye, I will be my senior year, and I will face the problem of graduation again.

In the previous life, Lin Fang was very confused when he graduated. He didn't know what he could do or what to do. In addition, he went separate ways with a few brothers in the dormitory. The first two years of work had been in a mess. A few days have passed since the days of peace.

Later, after experiencing some things, Lin Fang simply gave up on himself and completely became a salted fish.

This life may be different...

Lin Fang came out of the hotel and ran slowly along the road while looking around. Except for some obvious buildings, his main focus was mostly on the restaurants on both sides of the road.

Some time ago, I tried a knife at Gu Pengfei's mother-in-law's house. At that time, Lin Fang was still surprised by how advanced his cooking skills were. When the results of the club's comprehensive physical fitness test came out, Lin Fang completely understood the reason.

With his excessively good physical fitness, coupled with his particularly excellent eyes, Lin Fang felt that even if he didn't reach the level of Samsara Eye, he was almost at the level of a kaleidoscope.

Just be a little bit more attentive and copy other people's cooking skills, don't be too simple.

If it weren't for the fact that there were too many ex-girlfriends, and each one was better than the other, I really wanted to be the world's most delicious chef!

This idea just came to Lin Fang's mind, he couldn't help shivering, and decisively extinguished it.

What a joke, with so many ex-girlfriends, one meal a day, can I still get out of the kitchen? I still have to go out and wave... No, I mean, the world is so big, and there are so many beautiful things waiting for me to experience.

What cooking skills, I can't!

Even if Lin Fang could easily learn any occupation in life that might become a tool for his ex-girlfriends, he was determined not to learn it.

Even if you are inadvertently re-engraved by superhuman eyesight and extraordinary physique, you must try to forget it. If you can't forget it, you must pretend not to!

ugh... i'm having such a hard time!

Lin Fang jogged all the way. The various restaurants and snack bars along the way had been clearly recorded in his mind. Consciously or not, he also made a grade in his mind based on the attendance rate of these restaurants at a glance. ranked.

After six o'clock in the morning, in a lazy and leisure city like Jincheng, many restaurants have not yet opened. In the north of Beijing, even serious restaurants have already opened their doors.

People here come from all over the world, and everyone has their own eating habits. Some people prefer sweet bean curd, some people like glutinous rice **** filled with meat, and some people must eat a bowl of rice in the morning.

All of these, while forming the pattern of my big flower family's delicious food, also make everyone worry about "what to eat" from morning to night. Not too little, but too much.

Lin Fang once saw a video on Weishi. A foreigner vowed to eat and plant flowers all over the country in a month. His first stop was Jincheng. Now more than a year has passed, and his video is still being updated. Fans Millions of people have gained a few laps of weight, but they still haven't been able to get out of Jincheng.

This fat foreigner complained in the video a few days ago that he wanted to lose weight and refuse carbohydrates.

Then, his fans posted screenshots of pasta in their hometowns below, making the fat foreigners cry.

The fat foreigner posted a video yesterday to apologize, saying that he should not provoke netizens. He checked the information and found out that as of 1984, there were 256 noodle lines in the flower family, and the top ten noodles were famous all over the country.

I don’t eat anything else, just eat noodles, eat the same every day, fat foreigners have to eat for half a year, not to mention that we still have more than 100 kinds of sesame seeds, more than 100 kinds of rice recipes, and eight major cuisines are added every day. The practice, the endless variety of stir-frying for future generations...

Born in a flower garden, it's hard to eat every day... It's really hard to become a foodie and not to gain weight!

When passing by a pizza shop, Lin Fang accidentally noticed that there was a banner hanging under the signboard of the pizza shop, which clearly stated that today's Big Eater finals will be held here.

Out of curiosity, Lin Fang ran over and looked at the roll-up rules erected at the door of the store. The game time was clearly given on it, starting at 5 pm and ending at 10 pm.

From 8:00 in the morning, there will be a variety of hot activities, all kinds of food and drinks in the store, discounted throughout the day.

Seeing such a big stomach king competition, Lin Fang couldn't help but think of Shi Xiaolu.

This girl can eat so much at a young age. The key is to have a physique that does not gain weight. It is really suitable for this kind of competition.

The little girl is actually quite pitiful. She has lived with her mother for so long, and she has never had enough to eat. She is about to go to high school, but she is thin and small, severely stunted, and looks like a primary school student.

That is to say, her father took back the custody, and now Shi Xiaolu has only had enough food for a few days.

Lin Fang paid a little attention and was about to continue running down, but the phone kept ringing and he had to take a look.

Huh, Lin Xiaolei?

Seeing that it was his sister's phone, Lin Fang casually pressed the answer button and asked, "Xiao Lei, what's the matter?"

If it were left as usual, Lin Xiaolei's stinky temper like a cannonball would have nothing good to say when she opened her mouth, her tone was harsh, and her words were thorny, which would easily make people want to hang up.

Because of this, after Lin Fang crossed over, he bullied this extra little sister a lot.

But this time, Lin Xiaolei's voice was quiet, not harsh, but a little colder: "Brother, you weren't home for breakfast yesterday, you weren't home for breakfast today, and you didn't make a phone call at home, you've been missing for more than 24 hours, I just want to see if you are still alive.

Since I can still listen to the phone, it's fine, I hang up. "

"Wait a minute, tell mom... hello..."

beep~ beep~ beep~

Lin Xiaolei said that she would hang up, and the speed was so fast that Lin Fang didn't have time to ask her to help with a word.

"Forget it, the old girl can't be trusted, she has to rely on herself...Fuck..."

Lin Fang muttered, when he was going to call his mother and tell her about his business trip. Unexpectedly, Lin Xiaolei just hung up the phone and her mother called.

Even if you think about it with your knees, you know that the front and rear are almost seamless, and the mother and daughter are definitely together.

Lin Fang only felt a chill down his spine, knowing that the dish was bad.

Worried that as soon as the call is connected, he will immediately listen to his mother's ultimate move "Roar of Mother's Love", and fall into a negative state such as dizziness, immobilization, paralysis, fear, confusion, etc. Lin Fang hesitated for a long time and did not dare to answer telephone.

The phone rang for a while, but didn't ring again. Before Lin could relax, Dad's phone called.

Done!

Family love for three consecutive years, this wave, I may die!

Lin Fang covered his face and answered the phone helplessly.

"Hey…"

"Lin Fangwen, you are excellent! Your wings are hard, you are going to fly out and build your own nest? When are you going to get married? Are you planning to invite your mother and me to the wedding? It doesn't matter if you don't, we can wait until your next marriage. "

"Dad, what are you talking about! Getting married once is enough, how can I get married again?"

puff…

Lin Fang's aunt almost spat out, feeling hurt and hesitant.

Listen, listen!

Is this what a father should say?

What do you mean when I get married? I'm not going to invite you and my mother. If you don't come, can I get married?

What else are you talking about when I get married next time?

etc…

What did I just tell my dad?

I must be confused, I dare to commit such a big death?

At this time, Lin Fang thought of various killing operations in film and television dramas, "After this battle, I will go home and get married", "It's my wife in the photo", "Is my daughter cute"...

Dad, you **** me!

I think you are my dad, you actually backstab me?

Lin Fang couldn't squirt out a mouthful of auntie, and almost suffered internal injuries.

"Oh, do you still know that I am your father? Then do you still know who your mother is?"

"Isn't it Auntie Hu from the seventh unit next door?"

"Your Aunt Hu is a little fatter, but your Aunt Luo still looks good...Fuck, wife, don't... it hurts... it hurts!"

Lin Ma pinched Dad Lin's ear with one hand and grabbed the phone with the other. She glanced at Dad Lin coldly and said, "Carrots are a little fatter, Luo Qingcai looks better? Okay, Lin Yonghe, I really read that right. You, old scumbag!

All the middle-aged women in the community who are a little beautiful, you are all clear, you wait, I will settle the account with you later! "

Dad, your condolences, I really didn't mean to! How angry she must be to hear these nicknames from Mom!

Lin Fang mourned for his father for three seconds with a sad face (huan) and pain (xiao), but after all, he couldn't control his emotions and grinned.

Pfft hahaha...Dad, backstabbing is wrong, you will be punished!

Wait... My mom called my dad an old scumbag, so I'm not... family heritage?

Lin Fang: "???"

"Lin Fangwen."

"Mom, if you have something to say, please tell me what you want!"

"Oh... as expected of your father's son, the tone of fooling me is exactly the same!"

"Wang Wang Wang?"

Dad, you really don't bring such a pit son, how can you provoke my mother?

Lin Fang felt that in this wave, he might really die.

"Okay, you're too old. Before graduating from university, you have already found a good internship unit. According to your sister, you have also earned a lot of bonuses, which is very powerful."

"Wang Wang Wang? My sister, who did she listen to, no... How did she know?"

Lin Fang was shocked. The Lin family was strict and thrifty. He had a lot of money in his hand, but he never dared to spend it lavishly or tell his parents.

Otherwise, according to tradition, all this money has to be turned over to my mother.

A big man can't be without power for a day, and a small man can't be without money for a day.

Look at my father, I don't have any private money, I have to please my mother for a long time if I want to smoke a cigarette, and I want to buy a gift for Aunt Hu next door.

Lin Fang didn't want to be so miserable like his father. Before thinking of a way, even if he wanted to improve the various conditions at home, he could only think about it temporarily.

"Oh, even an idiot knows! Your salary is so little. If you don't have a bonus, would you be willing to give your sister a red envelope? I've sent it several times, but every time it's a big red envelope!"

Lin Xiaolei, it turned out to be you, but you actually backstabbed me too!

This family is so loving, we are really a family that loves (xiang), (hu), (bei), and (ci) each other!

Lin Fang felt a little guilty, but he was relieved. It turned out that Lin Xiaolei found the clue and sued her in front of her mother.

He pondered for a while, and simply admitted: "Mom, isn't this what your son can do? As soon as he came to the company, he completed a case. The company has a reward system, so he awarded me 20,000 yuan."

"Oh, good you Lin Fangwen, it's time for you to give me a sloppy eye! Twenty thousand yuan? I think it's fifty thousand yuan! Give me all the rest of the money! You are young and have a lot of hearts. The cheater actually cheated on your sister!

If it weren't for my sharp eyes, I saw her get up early to buy breakfast for two days in a row, but she didn't eat herself, I don't know, you only gave her two hundred yuan, and you wanted her to pack the whole family's breakfast for a week. All meals go to that expensive tofu brain shop!

If I don't count, I don't know, a family of four costs sixty or seventy yuan per meal. You are going to waste all your sister's money to buy learning materials. Are you a brother like this?

If you are not taught a lesson today, you are afraid of going to heaven! Come back to me quickly, right away, right away! Do you know how worried your family is about you? "

I see…

Although he was scolded by his mother, Lin Fang also figured out the whole process.

The point is, he mistakenly thought it was Lin Xiaolei's report, but he didn't expect it to be discovered by his mother herself.

With such good observation skills, why don't you become a detective?

Lin Fang complained to himself, and quickly explained: "Mom, I can transfer the money to you, but I can't go back. Our unit temporarily sent me to Beijing on a business trip. I just arrived yesterday, and I'm going to find a place now. After breakfast, I will join my colleagues to deal with the case later!"

"Oh, you're on a business trip..."

On the opposite side, Mother Lin, who had been yelling at Lin Fang, lowered her voice a few octaves. After being reminded by Dad Lin next to her, she raised her voice and said angrily, "Lin Fangwen, don't give me sloppy eyes! You one Intern, no matter how capable you are, where can it be your turn to travel?

Besides, you are a law firm, what kind of lawyer, UU reading www. uukanshu.com still need to travel? You are so capable, why don't you go abroad? "

If I encounter a foreign trade lawsuit, it is really possible for me to go abroad...

Wait... Dad, are you backstabbing me again?

Mom's tone softened a little, and now it's hardened again, making Lin Fang a little dumbfounded, especially what made him scratch his head is that Lin's father is still fanning the flames, intending to take revenge, just because he has no (cun) intentions (xin) ) mentioned the phrase "Aunt Hu".

Lin Fang said helplessly: "Mom, how could I lie to you? If you really don't believe it, let my sister make a video with me. The background behind me can't be fake, right? Besides, WeChat can also provide real-time location sharing. You can't deceive anyone!"

Seeing that Lin Fang was so sure, Lin Ma immediately realized that her son was really promising, and he had the opportunity to go on business before he graduated, which shows how much the lawyers valued their precious son.

If you don't get it right, you don't need to graduate, and the job can be turned into a regular. In the future, the old Lin family will really have a lawyer.

In addition to being happy, Lin's mother's tone eased again. She grabbed the hand of Lin's father's ear, turned it sharply, and said to Lin Fang very gently: "Son, since you are on a business trip, then mother will I won't bother you. Work hard! Take care of yourself when you're out and about and go to breakfast...  

By the way, call me the rest of the money. You keep 1,000 yuan to eat for yourself, and transfer the rest to me. You are not allowed to learn from your father. What private money is hidden! I said why he hid so much private money, it turned out to be looking for that Luo Qingcai! "

"Okay, I'll turn right away!"

Lin Fang resolutely agreed, hung up the phone, and wiped his cold sweat unconsciously.

I've finally fooled my mother, as for my father...you can ask for more happiness!

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