Conan: I Am Not a Snake Spirit

"If it rains for a while, there probably won't be any guests coming over today," Chi Feichi sat down on the sofa and saw Chi Jianai looking at the doll wall, and explained, "Fei Chi and Feimo made it."

"I..." Chi Kana lowered her eyes, she didn't believe that animals could hang it up, and when she thought about how depressed she was to make this kind of doll wall, she felt broken, "I'm sorry, about Hongshu, about ...I know you're going to be sad, but..."

Chi Feichi got up and sat beside Chi Jianai, looking sideways at Chi Jianai, "You don't need to apologize, and you don't need to run away from me anymore. I said that I want to talk to you about hereditary diseases."

Chi Kana still lowered his head, and twisted the skirt with his right hand.

Chi Fei waited for a while, then took the initiative to say, "You didn't plan to give birth to me at the beginning."

Chi Kana raised his head in surprise, looked at the calm eyes of Shang Chi Feichi, stunned for a moment, and looked at the burning scented candles on the table, the smiling eyes were no longer smiling, full of pain and struggle, "I, I just …”

"It's just that there is a disagreement with my father between losing the child and watching the child live in pain," Chi Feichi retracted his gaze, "because of a genetic disease?"

Chi Kana looked at the scented candles in the room, his eyes a little lost, "I... have four brothers, but I have never met my eldest brother, the second brother is many years older than me... To be precise, he is older than me. At the age of 15, he is a very stable person. He can take good care of his younger brothers and sisters, and can send those who come to ask for trouble. Although sometimes he suddenly loses control of his emotions and becomes very irritable, he always avoids other people and goes to himself. To vent, as long as he can remember, he is like a man in the family who can take on everything..."

"When I was very young, I admired the second brother the most, but I liked the third brother the most. The third brother likes to laugh very much. He would make me happy, would accompany me to check-ups, and would accompany me to train... Stairs, eating, walking, what I am most afraid of is the fourth brother, because he is always wrapped in black robes, silent, standing behind me and staring at me gloomily..."

Feichi climbed from the door to the sofa and listened quietly.

Feimo arrived at some unknown time, and placed the two bright red roses in his mouth on the windowsill. He found that the atmosphere was not right, so he didn't make a sound.

"I'm afraid of him, always..." Chi Jianai lowered his head, a tear fell on the white dress, which was quickly absorbed by the fabric, slowed down, and tried to maintain a peaceful tone, "until I was four years old. , I went to the yard to play by myself and fell into the water. The second brother and mother went out that day. The third brother was still driving down the stairs. The fourth brother ran forward faster than the servant and jumped into the water to kill me When I picked it up, I was so frightened that I cried, and accidentally tore off the black robe he was wearing. He still didn't say anything. When I got inside, I found that the backs of his hands, neck, and profile were all raised. Blisters, it looks scary, but I just feel sad..."

"I learned from that day that the reason why fourth brother kept staring at me secretly from behind was because he wanted to hug me, but his face was like an old man. When it comes to me, don't dare to approach me..."

"The third brother's eyes are invisible. He took the training I did since I was a child to prevent me from losing sight one day. Even if he can't see, he can go upstairs and downstairs well, and he can hold me accurately. Get up, he's so powerful, but I fell down when I drove him downstairs the other day..."

"Second brother can't be in the sun for too long. When the sun is very bright, he will cry uncontrollably..."

Chi Feichi took a piece of paper, hugged Chi Jianai's trembling shoulders, and lowered his head to gently wipe away the tears that filled Chi Jianai's face.

It was the first time he heard her mother talk about his uncle.

"I heard the second brother and the third brother quarreling. The second brother said that he hated our mother, no... it was resentment," Chi Jianai lowered his head and sobbed, "He said, our mother should not have given birth to us one by one. I didn't understand at the time, and I didn't know what they said after that, because the fourth brother found me outside the door and took me away."

"But the second brother still loves our mother very much. He sometimes gets angry at my mother, but it is awkward to help our mother deal with the piles of documents that look like a lot of people. When someone says bad things about our mother, He is also the most angry..."

"Apart from arguing with the second brother, the third brother still likes to laugh so much. He likes to tease the second brother for being awkward, and then quarrel with the second brother. The third brother also smiled and comforted me. The family spent a lot of money and found a lot of good things. Doctors, researchers, specializing in our problems, and we'll all be fine..."

"As for the fourth brother, he still doesn't say anything, doesn't let me see his face, he still likes to quietly stand behind me and look at me, so I try my best to tease him and try my best to see his face, He never gets angry, but I never succeed, I really won't be afraid, no matter what he is, I won't be afraid..."

"When I was six years old, my family was very happy," Chi Jianai smiled bitterly and whispered, "Because I was not blind, at my birthday party that year, my 20-year-old brother...my second brother, he He met the girl he liked, but he didn't dare to go forward. Why... He was obviously so good, but he said that sometimes he couldn't control his emotions, and he couldn't guarantee whether the children in the future would be the same as him, He gave up, we encouraged him to give it a try, he was hesitant, but in the second year, the kitchen caught fire, and he ordered the servants to leave, but he didn't come out again..."

"The third brother hasn't laughed for a long time, but in less than half a year, he started laughing again. He took over the things from the second brother, and began to receive guests at home. He began to arrange the life of the fourth brother and me. My brother also started to help..."

"When I was nine years old, my fourth brother passed away. The skin on his body began to fester and his liver also had problems. When he was lying on the hospital bed, I went to see him every day and saw him in pain. Watching him suffer..."

"It was also during that time that the person who quarreled with my mother changed from the second brother to the third brother, but the third brother, like the second brother, would feel guilty and apologize to his mother if he said too much...

…”

"On the day of my fourth brother's funeral, my third brother also had an accident. Before he jumped from the upstairs, he didn't laugh anymore. For the first time, his face was so crazy and scary, and he yelled at everyone hysterically, 'No hope, There is no way to get rid of this terrible curse, I watched my brother die, I watched my brother die, I was afraid that one day I would see my little sister die... No, no, I'm blind, what am I? I can't even see them, I can't even look at their faces for the last time!', but he was the one who always encouraged us..."

"It was also from that day that I lost all my brothers..."

"In fact, my mother is very kind to us. She can cook, read books with us, and play with us. At night, she will always look over the rooms one by one to see if we are asleep, but I also began to not understand, Why did she give birth to us all..."

"I took over everything from my brothers. I learned from them. I received guests and arranged the servants at home. I studied hard and didn't let anyone worry about it. I would be like the second and third brothers. I quarrel with my mother where I live, I love her, but I also hate her, and feel more sorry for her."

"I hate those people who hurt her openly and secretly. Those people always hurt her with my brother's affairs indifferently, calling her a witch, saying it was a curse, my father had no room to speak, those people They don't give him room to talk, they always use him as an outsider to block him." Chi Jianai lowered his head, tears kept streaming, but he gritted his teeth, "They kept our family's hearts over and over again. I opened the wound, sprinkled salt, and hoped to see my father and mother shrinking and weak, and then rush to tear us to pieces! I told myself over and over again, I can't get sick, even if I get sick, I will drag those guys to bury with them. !"

"But after you married my father and came to Japan with him, you didn't care about the family anymore," Chi Feichi asked softly, "Did you give up at that time?"

"When your father proposed to marry me, I told him that I would not have children, and he replied yes, I asked him, he is the only son in the family and has no children, what to do with the family's property, he said he could find someone else to inherit it, Chi Jianai leaned on Chi Feichi's shoulder, still staring at the candlelight, "At that time, I suddenly felt that I shouldn't worry about those things, as my parents expected, to have a husband who loves me and a happy Family, go see them when you have time, I'm starting to learn to be a Japanese wife..."

The contraceptive methods of the year have been very advanced, but Ike Shinnosuke does not agree with Ike Kana for surgery, because there are still many cases of infection or physical discomfort.

Then two years of contraception, suddenly a mistake was made, and there was a small life.

Chi Jianai has had a psychological shadow on the "blood" since childhood. No one is more reluctant to have this child born than her. She wants to abort the child, but Chi Zhenzhisuke does not agree.

This is the first contradiction.

"But you were reluctant, so you compromised." Chi Feichi said.

"I'm reluctant, but I don't know if I should keep you, so I was persuaded by him," Chi Kana lowered his eyes, remembering the throbbing and joy in his heart when he took over that little life for the first time , I miss and feel a little sad, "Then you were born, a boy, with purple eyes like me, I am afraid every day, I don't know if I should tell you everything, should I take you to do that since childhood This kind of training to do things blindfolded, I can hide it if I want to…”

"I don't need that kind of training." Chi Feichi took Chi Jianai's shoulders and said softly, "My eyes are fine."

"Yeah, your eyes are fine, but your eyes are fine... Your second uncle, your fourth uncle, they are living more miserably, they can't live like normal people," Chi Jianai's voice gradually increased, "You one day As I grow up, I am more and more afraid. If you find that one day you suddenly become different from other children, will you be sad? If one day you are going to lie in a hospital bed, will you resent your birth? If ...if one day...you meet a girl you like, how should I tell you?"

Chi Feichi was silent, allowing Chi Kana to vent his emotions.

"Tell you, the blood in your body may one day give you some incurable disease, and your child may do the same? The girl you like may not accept you because of this, and you even have to do it or not. Struggling to choose between fathers! Do you want to love your mother and hate her at the same time? What do you want me to do..." Chi Jianai suddenly pushed Chi Feichi away, stood up and stared at Chi Feichi with scary red eyes, Tears streamed down her cheeks, "It was a mistake to let you be born, maybe you should have been born in a normal family, not me! Why don't you hate me? I'm just an irresponsible mother! A person who leaves you alone, Don't care about your mother at all! You..."

Chi Fei got up late and hugged Chi Kana gently, feeling complicated.

Outside ~www.NovelMTL.com~ his mother is so decent, she is the head of the Field Group, and she is an excellent and perfect female representative.

In the past few years...even after he crossed over, she was always so gentle and didn't convey any negative emotions to him or the original consciousness. She didn't even want him to see the dark side of the shopping mall, and she supported him in choosing a veterinarian. Well, any other profession is fine, just live a simple and happy life.

But she was afraid to stay by her child's side, and hoped that he would hate her, hope that the family would be weak, so that each other would not be so miserable, but how could she be happy if she left the child?

The clips he found in his memory, Chi Jianai's complicated and guilty eyes at that moment, appeared more than once.

The original consciousness, including when he first crossed over, felt that it was the guilt of ignoring the child because he was busy with his career. It was a 'sudden conscience discovery', and he never saw how heavy the guilt was.

In my memory, my mother, who is always gentle and decent, has been living in the quagmire of pain, tangled, contradictory, and painful.

In other words, people with the same bloodline are struggling in pain, his grandmother, his uncles, his mother... It really seems like a curse.