The strongest brain in entertainment

Chapter 460 The Strongest Irony

Life is not as good as bastards - this is the most poignant self-deprecating so far.

House prices are like strapless bras—the best analogy.

The laughter of the audience made Li Fan's slightly tense state instantly relaxed, and he quickly entered the state.

"Some experts said that house prices are not expensive! He made a comparison and said that bras are much more expensive than houses.

好xiong罩600元，面积仅为0.02平米。即一平米xiong罩超过3万元。按全国二三线城市商品房均价1万元计算，xiong罩相当于房价3倍之多。

However, if you consider that the service life of the xiong mask is only one year, and the average life span of a commercial building is about 40 years, the actual price of the xiong hood is equivalent to more than 100 times the house price.

It can be seen that the house price is not expensive…”

Indeed, some experts posted this speechless comparison on Weibo. There are too many experts in Huaguo, good and bad are mixed, and there are many fake ones.

Li Fandao: "Another expert proposed a real estate theory - the kite theory, do you know?"

Some people at the scene shook their heads.

"The so-called kite theory, this expert believes that housing prices are like flying a kite. When it is high, it is tight and when it is low, it is flown. This is the current situation of housing prices." Li Fan rolled his eyes, "Bah, use it. Tell me, who doesn’t know this? If you change the most simple truth or fact that everyone understands into a noble name, an economic theory will come out?

Why are the current experts and academic achievements so cheap? "

Seeing the audience smiling, Li Fan paused, thinking deeply, then nodded suddenly, with a look of sudden realization, "Well, I'm sorry, I should have blamed him wrongly, this is not economic theory at all, he should be talking about sociology theory.

Because housing prices are really like flying a kite, whether it is tight or loose, we will never be able to reach it anyway. "

There was another round of applause at the scene, which was quite acceptable.

"Let's look at a picture. This is the housing price trend in Beijing from 08 to 19, an 11-year period."

On the big screen, a trend chart of housing prices in Beijing appeared.

In 08, the average price: 11000;

In 09, the average price: 23800;

In 10, the average price: 28000;

……

In 19, the average price: 65000;

The skyrocketing housing prices make people angry every time they see it. At this time, everyone can't help but feel angry and helpless, especially those who have not bought a house.

This group of brothers wants to exclude the student party, because the student party is still in the ivory tower and has not yet been tortured by reality and housing prices. The problem of housing prices is far away from them. They will worry about their careers.

Hey, that's not right, the ivory tower... Well, the student party also has rooms!

Li Fan pointed to the screen and said, "Have you seen it? Housing prices in the capital have increased by six times in 11 years. Is the real estate industry crazy? Why such a price increase? Who gave them the courage to raise prices so crazily?" ? Liang Jingjing?"

Whoa!
The scene once again burst into laughter and thunderous applause.

This joke was very famous in the previous life, and basically everyone who likes to surf the Internet knows it.But in this world, although there is also the song "Courage", it was indeed sung by Liang Jingjing, and Li Fanhua used it.

The audience clapped and said:

"It's a turning point. I was scolding real estate before, but I finally got Liang Jingjing out."

"Look, this joke must be widely circulated!"

"I guess Liang Jingjing is sneezing at home right now, haha!"

……

The burden sounded, and Li Fan said again: "Please look at the next picture, the distribution of housing prices in Beijing."

The big screen showed the distribution of housing prices in the capital, and Li Fan continued: "Every year during the Chinese New Year, it is a time to show off your wealth, where I bought a house, what car I bought, etc. Everyone compares with each other.

Of course, I am also a layman, and I also like to brag and show off.But we are cultural people, we can't be too direct, so I show off my wealth in WeChat groups like this.

I asked, did anyone hear the sound of firecrackers?Someone said they heard crackling, then they live in the same state.

Some people say that they can hear it faintly, so he lives near Jingshan.

And I said that I didn't hear it at all. Those who passed this year don't have a taste of the year at all. "

Li Fan pointed to Zhaoyang District, "I'm sorry, who let me live in the city center!"

what……

Boo at the scene!

Booing is very common in cross talk and talk shows, not really demeaning, here it can be translated as: Look at you boy, hehe!
"Yes, I bought a house here, and I like to buy a house.

Classmates have accused me, saying that you don't have the demeanor of a Peking University student at all?Your money for buying a house should be invested, financial management, etc. How technical is it to buy a house?
I told them why I bought the house, it was simple.

Because if I don’t buy a house and put my money in the bank, my money will be lent by the bank to others to buy a house. In the end, I will live in a house bought by others with my money. The rent money is used to pay off the mortgage, and then people marry a wife and have children to laugh at me.Why do I fulfill them, am I stupid?

I bought several properties, but my dad just can’t stand it recently, saying that it’s dangerous for you to do this!
What should I do if I collect high property taxes in the future?The high property tax is designed to deal with real estate speculators like you. "

Many people are looking forward to the introduction of high property taxes, and everyone is looking forward to a severe crackdown on real estate speculators. This is already the voice of many citizens.

Li Fan paused and laughed, "I said, it's okay. How much is the high property tax? 2% or 3%? Then the rent will increase by another 2000 yuan!"

The audience felt a burst of sadness in the laughter, and they made a fuss. In the end, the people at the bottom paid the bill. Who let themselves have no right to speak?Who made a house a necessity?

Li Fan: "My dad said, don't always buy a house. In the future, the house will be worthless if it becomes a mess. Save your money, manage your finances, and leave it to my grandson!"
Did I say that’s different?My money is also for your grandson. Is there any grandson who is more grandson than a real estate developer? "

The applause rang in an instant!
"Okay, that's right!"

"Good scolding, wonderful scolding!"

"Their grandson!"

"It's a relief to scold!"

……

There was thunderous applause, but there were some people at the scene who were not very happy, such as the real estate developer CEO who spent 59999 yuan to buy the ticket. His face was extremely ugly at this time.

Others spend money to have fun, he spends money to listen to scolding, this money is spent...

Li Fan signaled everyone to be quiet, and continued: "After buying a house, my mentality has changed. Before, I hoped that the house price would fall every day, and it would be good if it collapsed. Now I look at the house price trend chart every day. Your sister, you are so fast." A little bit up!!"

This is the general mentality of all citizens, and everyone here smiles knowingly.

Li Fan: "My cousin saw that I bought a house in the capital, and he also came to the capital, saying that he must take root in the capital.

He said that he wanted to buy a 100-square-meter house in Beijing with a monthly salary of [-]. Is there any feasible way?
I don’t think the problem is big, so I asked him to set a small goal first: for example, live for 500 years!
My cousin was worried about the house price every day. He couldn't afford a house with his meager salary. He thought about it day by day and dreamed about it at night. One night, he had a dream that he had picked up a magic lamp.

He wiped the magic lamp, and the genie floated out and said, "I am the genie, and I can grant you a wish!" '

The cousin was overjoyed and said excitedly: "I want a house in the capital!" ! '

The lamp god twitched, cried, and said, "Your uncle, if I can give you a house, why should I live in the lamp?" ! '"

"puff!"

"Ha ha!"

"This joke is funny!"

……

Another burden rings!Li Fan became more confident and calm!
After speaking for another 10 minutes, Li Fan took advantage of the audience's laughter, drank some water, moistened his throat, and continued:
"My cousin suddenly stopped talking about buying a house for a while. I didn't understand. I asked him what was wrong. He said he was waiting for Double Eleven. Double Eleven is Singles' Day, and it is also a major shopping festival for major e-commerce companies. , it must be cheaper to buy a house by then! It would be great if I could get a [-]% discount.

Audience friends, right? "

Everyone said in unison: "Yes!"

"What's right, look at what you said, as if you can afford it with a [-]% discount on the house price!"

Hey!
Someone sighed.

"My cousin tried his best to buy a house and worked overtime day and night. In the one year since he came to the capital, he became a team leader from a salesman, and from a team leader to a department manager. His salary has also been paid step by step. Growth, finally, the world will not disappoint those who work hard, with the support of his parents, he finally has the money to pay the down payment!"

Everyone laughed, this turning point... It turned out that it was funded by parents, and they thought it was hard work on their own.

Li Yong laughed loudly and nodded, "This sarcasm is really spicy! It makes people cry while laughing!"

This joke is also a very popular joke in the previous life, few people don't know it.

Li Fan: "When you have money, let's pick a house, find an agent, and look around. The agent said, sir, hurry up and buy it, the price will go up again soon!"
Cousin doesn't believe their usual tricks. As a Beijing drifter, he finally got rich, so why not find a better house in the capital?Then he picked slowly, from here to here, and from here to here..." (On the big-screen map of the capital, the light spot of Li Fan's laser pointer expands all the way from the city center.)
"Last year, my cousin finally bought a house, and all my worries were finally gone! I went to visit my cousin's new house, but before I arrived at my cousin's house, a text message rang: Bac Ho Province Mobile welcomes you!"

After the applause fell, Li Fan said: "Cousin said that over the years, many people have lied to him, but this time the intermediary didn't lie to him, telling him that the house price will go up and go up, and it really went up! They are the most powerful People of conscience.

The neighborhood of my cousin’s house is good, there is an advertisement hanging upstairs, which reads: Without a house, there is no daughter-in-law!

At the end of the year, this real estate developer won the honor of 'The Most Honest Realtor'!

Um! "

Li Fan nodded affirmatively, and the laughter and applause intensified.

"When the house was bought, everything came to fruition. He also married a wife. His mother-in-law and father-in-law treated him very well. The wife is also pregnant, and the school district house does not worry about going to school. My cousin bought a car two days ago. In the eyes of many people, my cousin has achieved a little.

right? "

"Yes!" The audience answered in unison.

"But my cousin cried a few days ago. I asked him what was wrong, my sister-in-law's birth was not going well?
He said everything went well and the mother and child were healthy.

Then this is tears of joy, why are you crying so heartbroken?My cousin said she had twins.

This is a good thing, I quickly congratulated and prepared to give out red envelopes.

But my cousin said with tears in his eyes that he gave birth to a pair of sons, sons, sons..."

Li Fan let out a long sigh: "Hey! This difficult problem of patriarchy that has been unsolved for thousands of years is now easily solved by real estate developers! It's amazing!

Thank you real estate companies for promoting national progress! "

Sister Jiang slapped her hands, "Okay!" She looked at the time again, and it has been 30 minutes, and this episode is 40 minutes, and it is almost the end.

She was very satisfied with Li Fan's performance, which dispelled her worries about Li Fan's lack of talk show experience.

After all, Li Fan has been working hard in the TV industry for about three years, and with Li Fan's talent, it is not a big problem for Li Fan to grasp the rhythm of talk shows.

A few minutes later, Li Fan was about to wrap up the show.

"Someone asked me, Mr. Li, who is knowledgeable and talented——"

what!
The crowd booed.

Li Fan smiled: "Mr. Li, who is knowledgeable and talented, when will the house price be cheap? I told him that the house price will always be cheap yesterday!

Someone asked me again, Mr. Li, what is the biggest risk in buying a house now?I said, just watch but not buy!

Someone said again, Mr. Li, do you have any solution to curb the rise in housing prices?

Of course I have, otherwise why would I have this talk show? "

The audience looked at Li Fan in surprise, and thought, "Wow, Mr. Li must be very good, Chinese scholar, psychologist, historian... Today there must be another title of economist!"
Li Fan paused and said: "The Chinese nation is a wise nation. We invented the idea of ​​staggered commute to get off work to solve the problem of congestion. It is a good idea to make a time difference between commute and get off work.

In my opinion, we can also start the plan of "buying houses at different peaks" in order to solve the problem of high housing prices. "

Everyone is puzzled, what kind of plan is this?Why the wrong peak?

Li Fan explained: "Some people buy a house in this life, and then let others buy a house in the next life!"

Everyone laughed miserably, and it was another joke full of irony, you turned a corner...

"Next, at the end of the show, let's watch a video interview, please watch it on the big screen!"

The video was playing on the screen. Li Fan looked at the time and got it just right.

He glanced at the auditorium by chance, only to realize that there were a few acquaintances sitting in the corner, who belonged to Shonan Satellite TV.

Oh, it turns out that they came to inspect in advance.

(End of this chapter)