The strongest brain in entertainment

Chapter 201 Cats Are Dangerous

The "Boya Cup" screening test officially ended at 5 p.m., and Li Fan, who had handed in the test paper in the morning, went out early to enjoy himself.

As soon as the exam was over, the invigilator Dr. Yang had just sent the test papers of the students to the office, and the professors in the room all focused their eyes on the thick stack of test papers.

"The overall level of their students is very high. Let me take a few glances first."

Professor Zhang got up first and quickly flipped through the answer books one by one, only looking at the names, not the contents.

"I'll take a look, too. I'll be idle to see what the level of these kids is."

"Then I won't be idle."

……

Several professors rummaged around a stack of test papers, messing up the answer booklet of the entire literature class.

Professor Zhang, who took the lead to finish the answer booklet, frowned. Could it be that he was dazzled, why didn't he find the kid's answer booklet?
Professor Zhang said, "Have you seen Li Fan's answer sheet?"

"I was looking for it too, but I couldn't find it!"

"Neither do I."

Well, these three professors are all rushing to Li Fan's answer booklet. After all, this kid has contributed two wonderful papers, and the level of each paper is admirable, even ashamed. He is a genius, not only erudite, but also has his own concept of literary and artistic creation. If you are not convinced, you will not succeed!
The doctoral student invigilating the literature class said with a smile: "Professors, there is no need to look for it. Dean Cui took this answer booklet away, and the dean said that he will approve it himself."

……

In the dean's office, Cui Yongnian was pacing around the room with his hands behind his back.He squinted his eyes slightly, his whole facial expression was very tangled, one step, two steps... After wandering for countless steps, his eyes fell on the "Essentials of Textual Research on Apocryphal Books" again.

Sitting back on the office chair again, after smoking a cigarette, Cui Yongnian flipped through "The Essentials of Forged Books" again. After flipping through a few pages, he felt something was wrong, then he got up immediately, and took out a large stack of books from the bookcase, Putting on his reading glasses again, he flipped through "The Essentials of False Books and Evidence" while looking up information...

At this time, Li Fan was visiting the vegetable market. He could only stay in the capital for a few days, so Zhang Lei planned to call all his friends home.

Zhang Lei has changed again. He has a slicked back hair, waxed hair, and looks like a dog when he walks in suits and ties.The only thing that hasn't changed about him is that he still loves to talk nonsense as before.

"Hey, boss, do you have Green Island prawns? The one at 38 yuan, give me some energy, what's the matter? Then I have to ask my wife to go back to her hometown in Green Island. My wife's family is engaged in aquatic products. "

Yes, he finally got out of the order and got a daughter-in-law. Along the way, he uttered the word "daughter-in-law" more than 20 times intentionally or unintentionally. It is estimated that he really suffocated after all these years.

The two bought all kinds of vegetables, fish, meat, crabs, prawns, etc., and then went home.

The moment he walked into Zhang Lei's home, Li Fan couldn't help but nodded with satisfaction, it was really good.Although the area of ​​one bedroom and one living room is small, it is neatly kept and organized, and the decoration of the house is quite trendy.

"It's a little small, just sit down."

"It's not small, what a great location! How much is it?"

"The two families pooled together the total house payment of 420 million yuan, with a down payment of 126 million yuan."

Li Fan's head buzzed, it was less than 60 square meters, and the down payment was 126 million, which was really scary.

Li Fan couldn't help but be speechless, it is so difficult to put down roots in this big city.

Ding Dong!

After Li Fan opened the door, it was Song Zhongshu who came in.

This Song Zhongshu and Li Fan met a few days ago. He is Xiaoxiao's distant relative and has a close relationship with Zhang Lei. He is a graduate student of the Beijing University of Fine Arts. Before that, Li Fan bought him a ticket for Mr. Chen's photography exhibition. Let's nod acquaintance.

Seeing Song Zhongshu carrying his painting tools, Li Fan smiled and said, "Brother Song, did you go out to sketch?"

"Well, I went to the suburbs," Song Zhongshu said, staring at Li Fan with saliva and said: "That Li Fan——"

"Meow meow!"

A sudden meowing interrupted the conversation between the two of them. They looked towards the source of the sound at the same time, only to see a lazy tabby cat timidly lying on the door of the bedroom watching them.

"I just adopted this one, isn't it cute?" Zhang Lei walked over and picked up the tabby cat with a doting look on his face.

Li Fan chuckled, "Brother, haven't you heard that men don't keep cats and women don't keep dogs?"

Zhang Lei asked suspiciously, "What's wrong?"

Li Fan raised his eyebrows, "That cat likes to peek at men taking a bath, do you know about that?"

"I don't know. Oh, really, it was staring at me when I was taking a shower yesterday."

Li Fan teased, "Where is it looking?"

"Of course it's one of my organs! What do you mean, you mean it's lustful?"

Li Fan giggled, and said, "Let me tell you a story. At the end of the Han Dynasty, it was common for the Shu Han to sleep naked. Li Lang likes cats, and they must sleep together at night. At night, Li Lang has a spring dream, and the roots of dust rise and fall—"

"Wait a minute, brother," Song Zhongshu interrupted hastily, "I'm an art student, and I can't compare with you masters. Let's not talk about classical Chinese? I find it difficult to listen to your alien language, and the vernacular movement has passed 100 years ago Now, what do you still want to restore?"

"Okay then. That is to say, at the end of the Han Dynasty, people in the Shuhan area liked to sleep naked. There was a buddy named Li who liked to raise cats. He would sleep with his beloved cat in the same bed every night.

Said that one day, when he was sleeping at night, he had a normal physiological reaction. Seeing this, the cat couldn't help but shouted: "I wipe it, a mouse!" 'Then 'click', I just took a bite, ate it, and then licked my lips, the cat frowned, thinking, this taste is not right. "

Zhang Lei shivered, threw the big cat to the ground, and said, "Don't talk nonsense, it will scare people."

"This is true, you can check the information. Cats are a male problem, so you can't raise them. Think about it, what does a mouse look like? It's fluffy and looks like it. When you just sneak out, think about it Isn’t the coquettish form very similar? Moreover, cats like to play with mice, or they may have made a mistake or have a preference for this type.”

Zhang Lei's scalp tingled for a while, and his back felt cold. Just thinking about it right now made him panic.

Li Fan continued: "Correspondingly, there is another saying that good women don't keep dogs."

Song Zhongshu became interested, "seeking knowledge" said: "How do you say this?"

"This is also an allusion from the end of the Han Dynasty. At the end of the Han Dynasty, there was a man in Dongyue who got married. After a month or so, the husband wanted to leave Luzhong, and he was very worried about his wife, so he bought a male dog—"

"speak English!"

Li Fan scratched his head and said, "I'm sorry, but brother, this is very simple!"

"My language is very poor."

"Well, let's talk about the late Han Dynasty. There was a buddy in Dongyue who had just got married. The couple was inseparable and their little life was sweet. More than a month later, this buddy was sent to be an official in the central area of ​​Shandong. He He was very worried about his beloved wife. Firstly, he was afraid that she would be lonely and bored, and secondly, he was afraid that some flower-picking thieves would miss his daughter-in-law, so he bought a majestic male dog.

Three years later, this buddy returned to his hometown. He had just entered the courtyard when he saw that big dog was full of hostility towards him and kept barking, and his beloved wife did not seem overly happy with him.What's wrong, I feel like an outsider!
In the evening, put your arms around your beloved wife and do some serious business. Just as you took off your daughter-in-law's clothes, you saw her old wounds behind her. What's going on?After repeated questioning, my beloved wife replied: "A dog understands people's minds and sleeps together every night..."

Ah, this green hat is unbearable. Could it be that I am not as good as a dog?

The next day, in a fit of anger, he killed the male dog.The wife was so distraught that she also committed suicide by jumping off the cliff.Therefore, a foul language was born in the future - dog days! "

The two elder brothers laughed instantly and collapsed.

"Are you talking nonsense or is this the truth?"

"real or fake?"

Li Fan shrugged and said, "You can check the information."

"Don't talk about it, let's cook the rice first."

Zhang Lei started to wash the rice. He washed the rice clean, and laughed while putting the rice in the rice pot. The two people in the living room had already started driving, and the big truck they were driving was playing the flute all the way. .And Li Fan, that kid, also explained the structure of the dog's local position to others in a serious manner, which attracted him to listen carefully, his knowledge greatly increased.

How does this bastard look like a cultural person?Just a little hooligan who can talk nonsense!

After putting the rice into the pot, Zhang Lei suddenly became worried.What is the ratio of rice to water when cooking rice?Come by feeling.

Add water, it seems less, add more, it seems less!After adding 5 times, it should be ok, close the lid and press the button.

"Don't be idle, both of you, come and wash the vegetables!"

"Okay!"

"When will the rest of them arrive? Oh my God!"

Just as Li Fan muttered, someone knocked on the door. When he opened it, Gu Yating arrived.

Gu Yating was carrying fruit cakes in her hands, she put them aside, and started to visit Zhang Lei's small home, she nodded and said: "It's not bad, it's very warm."

Zhang Lei poked his head out of the kitchen and said, "It's just too small, only about 50 square meters."

Li Fan raised four fingers and said, "With over 400 million, I should be able to buy a townhouse in your neighborhood, right?"

Gu Yating nodded, "Yes, yes!"

Zhang Lei asked curiously, "Can Yating know how to cook?"

"I can eat."

The three men looked at each other in blank dismay, well, there is no hope.

After a while, brother and sister Peng Ren and Peng Hui also arrived.

Li Fan opened the door and said, "Xiaohui, can you cook?"

Peng Hui stuck out her tongue, "I can help you guys, maybe the next few will!"

Who are behind?

Within 10 minutes, Dong Peng, Lego, Prehistoric and others arrived one after another, all of whom were of the type who would eat and wait to die.

Everyone surrounded the kitchen with several bags of vegetables, all staring at each other, and none of the men or women had ever cooked.

What kind of big family dinner party, there is no one in charge, how to party?

"Don't worry, my daughter-in-law will be back soon, and the overtime work will probably end soon. My wife's cooking is a must!"

Li Fan said silently in his heart: "Daughter-in-law" was called 56 times in total!Well, Brother Lei, you are really suffocated.

While everyone was chatting, Jia Yun knocked on the door and walked in. Facing the eyes of everyone, she was stunned, "What are you doing?"

"Uh, can you cook?"

"You all don't know how? What a big deal!" Jia Yun put down her backpack, hung up her apron, and said, "You guys give me a hand!"

"Okay!"

"Our big party is waiting for you!"

Li Fan pulled Gu Yating and said, "Look at her. She is also a woman. Then look at you."

Swish!
Le Gao Gao, Peng Hui, and Qian Duoduo followed behind:

"What happened to us?"

"Is it wrong to know how to cook?"

"What age is it, and women are required to cook?"

Gu Yating smiled happily and said, "Yes, yes, yes!"

Well, there are many of you, and you are justified!

Jia Yun began to direct in the kitchen: "Li Fan, don't act like nothing is there, can you peel potatoes?"

"I can."

"Is it possible? If not, go kill the chicken."

"Yes, absolutely!"

Li Fan is most afraid of sharp-mouthed animals, they are too scary.

"Yating, still laughing! Come and wash the dried tofu. Haven't you heard a sentence? If you want to tie a man's heart, you must first tie his stomach. You have to lay the foundation for the future, or you will meet a millionaire Husband, what do you think you can do? Li Fan, who is knowledgeable and talented, does this make sense? Hey, where is Li Fan?"

Gu Yating blushed, she turned her head and saw that Li Fan, Dong Peng and Peng Ren were not in the room.

The three men went downstairs to kill the chicken.

Dong Peng held down the chicken, Peng Ren raised the knife and lowered it, while Li Fan was far away and said "Oh my god". He didn't dare to look at it, but he really wanted to, so he turned his head and looked at it with his peripheral vision.

"Li Fan, you are too cowardly."

"It's too bloody, I can't stand it." Li Fan was frightened for a while.

Dong Peng controlled the blood and said: "Hey, if the alien civilization finds us, will they become friends with us, or will they kill us like chickens?"

Li Fan turned his head and said: "Don't worry, we will definitely be killed. The development of a civilization must step on the advancement of another civilization. They look at us like we look at this chicken. Otherwise, the foreign race will become the dining table." The luxurious package on the website, or it becomes a tool for use, such as our fur and our bones."

Peng Ren said: "That's not necessarily the case. It's also possible that aliens will put us in cages and raise us. Then we'll learn how to 'get around', act like a coquettish girl, chew bamboos, etc., just to survive!"

Li Fan glanced at the dead meat chicken again, put his palms together, "Amitabha, goodness, goodness, it has nothing to do with me."

The three of them went upstairs, only to see Jia Yun still giving instructions, "I asked you to shred these potatoes, right? If not, I'll do it. Hey, sister, I asked you to peel this garlic, and you, Can you cut the meat faster?"

After a busy meal, everyone finally processed all the vegetables and meat, and then they all looked at Jia Yun, and it was time for the chef to perform.

Jia Yun rolled up her sleeves and said, "Okay, you are all ready to help me."

She walked to the stove, looked at several knobs carefully, hesitated for a moment and then turned them away. When the flames started to appear, she couldn't help but shrink her hand and said: "Yating, green onion!"

After taking the green onion from Gu Yating, Jia Yun poured it into a large spoon, "Li Fan, oil."

"Wait a minute, sister, don't you heat the oil first and then add the onions, ginger and garlic?"

"Is it?"

Everyone dizzy!

I dare you to direct here for a long time, you are not as good as everyone?

"Sister Yun, don't you know how to cook?" Peng Ren said.

"I've fried leftovers before, and I don't have the procedure of adding oil. Don't worry, I've watched two episodes of "Thirteen Peaks Taste", and I've almost learned it."

Just when everyone was speechless, the door opened, and Mrs. Sister-in-law walked into the living room.

Zhang Lei's girlfriend is quite good-looking and clean-cut. She can be said to be a top-notch person both in the hall and in the kitchen.When she got home, she put down her bag and rushed into the kitchen to cook a delicious meal for everyone.

Not to mention, although Zhang Lei lost at the starting line in his love life, when he was approaching the finish line, he accelerated suddenly and overtook the car on a curve. With such a good wife, his life is very fulfilling.

Li Fan slurped the food into his mouth and said with emotion: "Well, it's delicious! It's great, and it's perfect when paired with Brother Lei's watery rice!"

Everyone was laughing and laughing, and there were lots of compliments.

Gu Yating chewed carefully, thinking: How did you do it?It's so delicious, it's better than a restaurant chef, and it's so good at fastening the stomach.

Li Fan stretched out his hand and shook it in front of her, "What are you thinking, sister?"

"Don't tell you!"

"I'll tell you, I'll tell you," Song Zhongshu said anxiously, "Brother, do you want to do art with me?"

Engage in art?draw?

Li Fan raised his head and said, "I don't have a root of wisdom!"

"No need for Huigen!" Song Zhongshu vowed.

Without Huigen?Can this be done?
(End of this chapter)