I'm waiting for you in the wind and snow

Chapter 576

Bai Lu's words made me very uncomfortable. I stared at the rainwater falling from the eaves for a long time, and then I lit a cigarette and said, "Even if I can live in your assumptions, I chose Being with Sisi, even getting married... But after a few years, will it really be as perfect as you think? You all know what state I was in then."

"Two people need to run in with each other when they are together."

"Since it's running-in, there must be two results: good running-in and bad running-in... If the running-in is not good, have you thought about how Sisi will be hurt?...You must have never thought about it, but I thought about it... She is a woman who takes love very seriously. Such a woman is easy to be serious. Once she doesn't get what she wants from me, she will lose the ability to love... Not only that, but she will also Turning into a divorced woman, her self-worth will be completely destroyed... At that time, you people will blame me for possessing her when I was not ready... I am just an ordinary People, there are so many similar things, I really can't bear it."

Bai Lu looked at me, and replied after a while: "Even if what you said is reasonable, is it appropriate for you to hang on to Sisi all these years?"

"I think you have misunderstood the word hanging... The so-called hanging means that while I don't want to be with her, I also use some ambiguous words and behaviors to maintain the relationship between each other, and give her a little hope from time to time, so that Don't let others have the opportunity to develop with her... But you touch your conscience and say, have I, Mi Gao, ever done this?... Back when Cao Xiaobei was by her side, I created opportunities for them, and you scolded me again Me, saying that I failed her... After that, I went to Jimo, Qingdao, and lost contact with the outside world for a whole year, if I really wanted to miss Sisi, what would I do?"

"Even if you didn't feel sorry for Sisi, what about Lu Jia... Did you handle the matter between you and her properly?"

"My dad was in that situation, what else could I do?... I, Mi Gao, have always been bold. I can tell you that if Lu Jia hadn't been stealing people abroad, I would have fulfilled my promise to marry her after she returned home. Even if marriage is an inevitable choice between us, I will admit it."

"You...what did you say?...Lu Jia, did she really do something wrong to you abroad?!"

I took a deep puff of the cigarette, and my heart heaved violently.

After spitting out all the smoke in my mouth, I said to Bai Lu: "It's not important, Lu Jia and I are already in the past tense..."

After a short pause, I said again with great emotion: "It wasn't until I talked to you today that I finally understood why I lived like this... I just valued you so much that you said What, I take it all to my heart; moreover, in order not to hurt you, I will not defend myself for what you say, so you habitually blame me for all your mistakes... Just like Tetsuo, at the beginning I persuaded him to go to Jiulongju with me as a temporary inn. He not only rejected me, but also felt that I was persecuting him. I didn't defend myself at the time. When he needed money, he even took it behind his back. I gave Taozi a sum of money to help them get through this difficult time... But why the hell am I, do I really owe it that much?... I am not wrong, it is you who are wrong, you can't offend selfish people, you are afraid A vicious person, so Tetsuo is already like this, and you will never say that he is wrong, you will only point at me... If one day, I, Mi Gao, become fierce and vicious, it is not because human nature is evil, It was forced out by you gang of bully and fearful people!"

I laughed in the sound of pouring rain: "No wonder Director Ma chose to go to Jizu Mountain to become a monk. Living in someone else's world is so fucking tiring... It turns out that Lao Ma is our group of people." The most foresighted and wisest in the world... In this colorful world, there are thousands of eyes, I really can't afford it... Haha!"

These words of mine hit the most painful place in Bai Lu's heart, and her tears fell immediately... She didn't fight me back with words, and it was the first time in my life that I was a villain, and it paid off. I also tasted the sweetness...

But I don't know, after she has told so many truths, will Bai Lu feel that I am finally "sincere" and look up to me? !

……

Bai Lu was so pissed off by me; I went back to the room after listening to the sound of rain for a while... I seemed to be a little unsatisfied, and wanted to find someone to come out and attack; but in the end I didn't implement it because Being an aggressive person is tiring... I have to stare at a person all the time to find his (her) weakness, but how old are these people?It's worth all my energy to deal with it!

……

The next day, at noon, Director Ma and I met at a noodle restaurant that only served plain noodles. I just smoked and looked very depressed.

Half a day later, Director Ma's mind was unstable. He knocked on the table first, and said to me: "As soon as I practice Buddhism, I don't care as much as you do... You asked me out, but you are talking."

"I feel that I am standing at a fork in my life. It takes a moment to become a Buddha or a demon."

"What do you mean?"

"I think being a villain is more rewarding than being a good person... I'm a little moved!"

"I still don't understand what you mean."

I leaned in front of Director Ma again, and then replied in a very gloomy tone: "Lu Jia plotted against me, so I will plot against her with even darker tricks. Sooner or later, I will definitely be able to take out all the houses she plotted to leave." Get it back, not only to get the house back, but I also have to discredit her and live with her tail between her legs for the rest of her life. Even her future children will look down on her; and Ye Zhi, she is sorry for me, and I will attack her if she fails me. She, let her get married; Yang Sisi doesn't like me, I use her, I want as much as she can give me, why the hell am I working so hard to start a business, and I can eat the softness of a woman? Food is also a kind of skill... right... right?"

Director Ma was dumbfounded, and after a while he said to me: "Aren't you a little crazy!"

"I don't think so... People are destined to be stared at by thousands of eyes when they are alive. Apart from gentlemen, there are also a bunch of villains who stare at you... These villains, as long as you leave them If you live with your own values, you will feel that you are useless, you are moron, you are not a man... Can I, Mi Gao, bear it?... These days, friendship between gentlemen is not as valuable as congeniality... I have decided, from now on In the beginning, I just lived like this, living like maggots in a cesspit with these villains... Why should I do this? Because those gentlemen dare not and don’t bother to scold me; while those villains, scolding me is scolding themselves, I'm sure you won't scold me...Maybe, you'll see me as a role model and go to visit and learn... How wonderful! Not only are all the troubles gone, but you can also be caught in the middle of these women, and you won't suffer at all. !"

"Stop... I don't like to hear these words... If you feel wronged by this world, besides becoming a demon, there is another way to become a Buddha... You don't have to miss the romance in the world. I have seen through it two years ago Now... the end of the wind, flowers, snow and moon, it is Jizu Mountain... You are a person who is particularly good at dialectical thinking. From the perspective of our Buddhism, this is the Buddha nature... So Jizu Mountain will always be the only one in your life The choice of your choice... If you take this step, you will be able to get out of this sea of ​​suffering in life, and your sense organs will be pure from now on!"

I took a deep drag on the cigarette, and then stared at the cherry blossom tree at the entrance of the noodle shop, lost my mind for a long time.

I saw my entrepreneurial dream and love dream again.

And Yang Sisi who was waiting for me in Shanghai...

I want to get married... This sudden desire has nothing to do with who I want to be.

I know that I can't become a Buddha or a demon... I'm just an ordinary person.

After venting, I am still the man called Mi Gao by others, longing for career, longing for fairness, longing for justice... I am also selfish and vulnerable, and under the gear of fate, I will raise my arms and be the most tenacious Revolt!
(End of this chapter)