I'm waiting for you in the wind and snow

Chapter 513 Just Think I'm a Fool
The night is like a thousand waves, spreading forward and stirring people's hearts; at this moment, I don't know what Yang Sisi is thinking, but I really have nothing to say about returning to Shanghai.

I lit a cigarette and looked away... The criss-crossing viaducts and the people in the subway station, shoulder to shoulder, appeared in my mind inexplicably; I felt depressed, as if I was in Shanghai in winter, Gloomy, damp, cold...

Yes, these are the reasons why I don't want to go back to Shanghai.

Yang Sisi didn't say anything more, she looked at the Erhai Lake in the distance in a daze...

When I was about to finish smoking a cigarette, she said, "The moon is so beautiful tonight, look at it."

"Erhai Moon, isn't it beautiful..."

While I was talking, I followed her gaze towards Erhai Lake, probably because the moonlight was too bright, but the sky was reflected by Erhai Lake in dark blue, and Erhai Lake was too clear. I don’t know that Erhai Lake fulfilled the moon. It is the moon that completes the beauty of Erhai Lake.

I was so absent-minded, until the cigarette butt burned my hand, I suddenly came back to my senses.

I asked Yang Sisi again: "Would you like to go to Erhai Lake for a walk?"

"To Ma Jiuyi, or to Longkan?"

I thought about it, and replied: "Dragon niche."

The reason why I went to Longkan was because our inn set sail there. At that time, I was the boss and Yang Sisi was the front desk; Ma Jiuyi was my first stop in Dali, and I often met there and lived in the same Ye Zhi.

The two places where you can see the sea have extraordinary meanings to me, but at this moment, I want to go to the Dragon Shrine even more.

……

Riding an electric car, carrying Yang Sisi, I came to the deserted Longkan... It will be deserted for a while, because it won't be long before the large-scale tourism complex of Binjiang Group will open for operation. Popular new landmark.

Walking on the wide road around the sea, I didn't feel relaxed. I asked Yang Sisi to take a walk on the Erhai Lake. It was not a whim, because I knew that whether I went back to Shanghai or not, she should go back to Shanghai. Come here for a walk, just take it as a farewell.

The former inn no longer exists, and it was replaced by a large parking lot. I couldn't help but feel a little bit emotional, and then said to Yang Sisi: "Time flies so fast... It's been three years in a blink of an eye..."

"It's fast enough... There is no trace of those memories at the beginning."

I looked up again, and the place where I and Director Ma used to sit and drink under the willow tree had turned into a viewing platform, and the lighting arrangement on the viewing platform looked very unique.

Yang Sisi and I walked to this viewing platform together. We leaned on the guardrail and looked into the depths of Erhai Lake. The water in Erhai Lake swayed and hit the reef right under our feet.

At this moment, it is really comfortable.

I knew I shouldn't say something that would spoil the atmosphere, but driven by a certain mood, I still asked Yang Sisi, "Are you planning to go back to Shanghai?"

"Otherwise, can I stay in Dali for the rest of my life?"

"It's good to go back to Shanghai. You can come to Dali for a vacation once in a while. Anyway, you have a house here."

"I don't need you to plan my life...you just need to worry about yourself."

I smiled and replied: "I am full of energy now, and I live a very fulfilling life every day, so there is nothing to worry about."

Yang Sisi didn't pick up my words. After a while of silence, she changed the subject and said, "The things I put on your table just now are all health medicines that I asked a friend to send back from abroad. I know you don't sleep well. These are all natural. With no side effects, you can take it for a year."

"I thought it was a snack."

"In the future, you take care of yourself... that's all I can do."

Yang Sisi sniffed, then sobbed...

I also feel the same way, because these farewell words are really uncomfortable to say. After all, we have known each other for more than three years and have experienced many things together... But the reality makes people feel helpless. Since we do If you can't be a lover, you can only be a stranger.

We always have to make choices.

I said to Yang Sisi in a low voice: "Don't cry, I feel bad when you cry."

"Shouldn't you be uncomfortable?...Three years, even if a cat or dog is by your side, it should have feelings, right?"

"So what if we have feelings... Can a person escape life and death in this lifetime?... A lifetime is too long, and there are too many people we have to say goodbye to."

"It's so cold-blooded!"

"As far as Cao Xiaobei is concerned, aren't you too?"

Yang Sisi turned around and looked at me. The wind blew her long hair into a mess. I couldn't even see her expression clearly, but I could feel her mood. When I say this about her, her heart must be bleeding; Because my words are tantamount to denying all her sacrifices.

"Yeah...it's my own fault...I'm much more stupid than Cao Xiaobei, he at least knows how to get out...as for me, I'm going around and walking around..." After a short pause, she choked up again He said: "I know, you are implying me, you hope that I will be like Cao Xiaobei... I will leave..."

"Let's go...it's over."

"I beg you, don't irritate me anymore, don't say anything that hurts me...I want to die...you throw me into Erhai Lake, that's the real deal!"

Yang Sisi covered her chest with one hand, and grabbed my clothes with the other. My neckline was almost torn apart by her... No matter how painful she was, so much strength.

I looked up, unable to bear to look at her...

Just think of me as a scumbag... In my spiritual world, Ye Zhi is far away, and Lu Jia is close by... What else can I give her?
Just treat me as a coward... If you want to love her, you have to give up everything now... I can't let go, and I don't have the guts to face the possible consequences.

Just think of me as a cunning person... because everything now is a choice made after weighing the pros and cons.

……

Just think I'm a fool... The best girl in the world stood in front of me, but I didn't want her!

……

In such a heart-piercing late night, Yang Sisi was really hurt. She didn't go back with me again. It was her friend who came here to pick her up... After she left, I stayed by the Erhai Lake again For a long time, and smoked half a pack of cigarettes.

I heard that if you smoke too much, you will get dizzy... I just don't want to make myself too sober, because the pain in my heart is not less than that of Yang Sisi, but I can't cry with her, I can only be a little confused, in a daze through the whole night.

……

I don't know if it's a coincidence or fate. Cao Xiaobei, who hadn't heard from me for a long time, sent me a WeChat message late at night, and he asked me if Yang Sisi was doing well.

I was stunned, and replied after a long time: "Why don't you ask her yourself?"

"I'm ashamed..."

"I do not quite understand you."

"I am a person who dares to deceive myself... What qualifications do I have to ask her if she is doing well in front of her..."

"Are you not very happy with your current girlfriend?"

"I've never been happy... She's not the woman I really love... Loving someone won't change so easily. Anything that can be changed easily can't be called love."

……

I read Cao Xiaobei's words over and over again, and suddenly I understood myself, Yang Sisi, and even Ye Zhi... I love Ye Zhi, so I have been stagnant emotionally for the past few years Not before... Ye Zhi didn't love me enough, so she changed first.

In fact, in the emotional world, there is really no right or wrong, only sincerity and insincerity!
(End of this chapter)