I'm waiting for you in the wind and snow

Chapter 505 Are You Right My Dear
In the sound of the wind blowing from "Sisi", Ye Zhi put on the hat on the jacket, so that I couldn't see her expression clearly, but I could feel her mood... because I have always been a very sensitive person , especially those who care about me, sometimes I can see through their hearts with just every move.

Of course it is impossible for me to know what Ye Zhi is thinking at this moment, but I know that she needs protection very much, just like most women... She is also made of water, flexible and soft.

Just like she loves beauty, when she meets me, she will put on makeup very carefully.

Her strength seems to be given to her by others. Others need her to be strong, impeccable, and look perfect... So, I have heard too many people call her Mr. Ye... But what does she want in her heart?Or the leaves will be more kind.

……

After a while of silence, I took out the cigarette case from my pocket, took out a cigarette from inside, and after lighting it, I closed my eyes and took a deep puff.

Feeling the smoke lingering on his face, he inexplicably restored the scene that Ye Zhi just said in his mind: a coveted beautiful woman, driving a white car, driving slowly on the asphalt road, she has been Following a homeless man wearing women's clothes, they went to the seafood market, the amusement park, and the seaside in different ways... The homeless man is crazy and detestable, but his every move brings to please their own happiness; and women, with tears hanging on their delicate faces... Apart from being human, they can no longer find anything in common, but under the scorching sun, it is women who envy this vagabond Chinese……"

I can only think of this, because I don't know what she envied the tramp; or, in the crazy behavior of the tramp, she saw something she had lost, and what are these things?
I waited for her to explain my doubts to me... But she suddenly didn't want to talk, and kept hugging her knees.

"Want to smoke a cigarette, it will be warmer."

"I don't know how to smoke."

"You can try it, don't let your principles defeat you."

"It has nothing to do with principle."

I put the cigarettes back in the pack... Still thinking about that scene in my mind, what I saw was a strong conflict: one is a woman with a halo, the other is a filthy bum... Who the hell? Are you the wise man in life?

Ye Zhi finally opened her mouth again, and she said to me: "There are too many illusions in this world... I can travel all over the world, and that homeless man may only be limited to the seafood market and the seaside area for his whole life... But we , who is more free?"

"he."

"Yes, he is more free... because in his world, there are no others...he is his own friend and his own relative...even if he sleeps in the garbage dump every day, he is not sad , because he himself is a world, in his world, he can make flowers bloom in the snow, and let the moon and sun together illuminate his world... Although his body still gets along with this world, his body The spirit is already omnipotent...so, I am not as happy as he is, let alone as free as him."

I looked at Ye Zhi, speechless for a long time, probably only a person who has really experienced life and death would do this kind of thinking... She must have been depressed for a long time, because only a depressed person would To think about the world, and then find a way to escape in the conflict between the spiritual world and the real world.

I finally spoke to her and said, "So, the root of our unfreedom lies in other people?"

"Yes, we are all living in someone else's world... Maybe, there is no absolute freedom in this world."

After finishing speaking, she turned her body around and looked at me; after a long time, she spoke to me again: "Freedom is a luxury...Only by letting yourself live first can you realize the dream in your heart; if you die , there is nothing left..."

I clenched my fist and asked, "Tell me, was the accident in Thailand an accident or a man-made disaster?"

"It has nothing to do with you...My biggest regret is that I didn't fulfill the responsibilities of a girlfriend when I was your girlfriend, but this is not a bad thing...don't try to infiltrate into my world Come on, it is completely different from the world you see..."

"I doubt it, have we really gotten along in the name of love?"

"What you think is up to you... In my heart, you are the only one..."

Eager to know the answer, I asked, "What is the only one?"

Ye Zhi didn't answer directly, she just asked me in a low voice: "If given the chance to choose...would you still want to meet me on that viewing platform?"

I didn't get the answer I wanted, my mentality collapsed, and I said angrily: "I don't want it, I don't want to meet a person who is not honest about everything!"

Ye Zhi stopped talking, she lowered her head and let the rain fall on her body.

I regret it, I regret saying it...but I won't change it.

For a moment, I even thought: Yes, you are better than me in everything, and you don’t want to tell me anything, so you can bear all the pain... Anyway, love is fucking hurting each other, and I don’t deserve it anyway Get to know your world.

But the pain in my heart is so real.

It turns out that hurting her hurts me even more! …So, before becoming that tramp, we all lived for others; therefore, it is others who make us lose our freedom and self!

……

In fact, I should have communicated with her properly, but I gave up this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity... It's not my fault, I was in a mess. I was worried about Yang Sisi's safety, so I hoped to use whatever I could say. Easiest way to say it... I just want results as soon as possible.

Gradually, I calmed down...

I understand Ye Zhi a little bit... Now that the situation is like this, what's the point of talking about it? Like her, I also have a lot of things in my heart that I want to say but can't say.

We are all burdened people.

Maybe she is protecting me.

……

I don't know how long it took, the rain gradually stopped, and through the gaps between the trees, I can see the starry sky deep in the Cangshan Mountain...

At this moment, a beam of red light was vaguely seen shooting into the sky.

I called Ye Zhi and asked her to confirm.

Ye Zhi nodded.

My tense nerves finally relaxed. This is the signal sent by the rescue team to the people down the mountain. This beam of red light means that Yang Sisi has been found... She is finally safe.

Fortunately, we ran to such an open place, and we were able to know the news of Yang Sisi's rescue in the first place.

The world is really quiet.

It was at this time that Ye Zhi took out the laser flashlight used to transmit signals from her pocket.

She is calmer than me... Since we are in this position and can see the signals from other teams, they must be able to see our signals too... They will find them, sooner or later.

……

I sat down next to Ye Zhi again; when the burden in my heart disappeared, my mind became calm, I lit another cigarette, and said to her, "Thank you."

"You're welcome, Sisi is also my friend."

I nodded, and after being silent for a while, I said again: "Some words, some things, even if you don't want to tell me, I probably know... It's actually a matter of waiting for another person without knowing how long it will take. A particularly painful thing... I have been thinking: If the first thing you do after you come back is to come to me...then I will hold you tightly, say a thousand words, and just say one sentence to come back...you know Yes, I can't forget you... Feelings are very strange. I know that there are many incompatibility between us, but I can't forget... But is it because of love or hate?... This matter It's really hard to figure it out!...I, Mi Gao, have never been a person who is afraid of things. What I fear most is your indifference...Why can't you let me suffer with you?...Can you tell me ?...It also let me untie the knot in my heart... After all, I am also a person who wants to do big things, and I am always entangled in emotional matters, so the pattern is much worse... You have to understand me, I I hope that after today, I can be empty-handed and start all over again... If I can't do it, then you can turn me into that tramp... Even if I live a life that doesn't matter, at least I'm happy... Right?"

I repeated it again: "Isn't it, dear?"

Ye Zhi looked at me... the atmosphere was warm and cold.

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(End of this chapter)