I'm waiting for you in the wind and snow

Chapter 179 Sad Anxiety
After a three-hour flight, the plane finally arrived in Shanghai. When I walked out of the cabin with simple luggage, I found that everything was not as expected. The weather in Shanghai was not only gloomy, but also very cold. I wonder if I have really stayed in Shanghai before. I am used to Dali's four seasons like spring. I really can't accept the damp and cold here. I just feel like my legs are soaked in ice water, and I feel numb for a while.

I took out a scarf from my bag and mailed it, and followed the flow of people out of the airport...

The outside of the airport is no different from before, many waiting taxi drivers will take the initiative to greet you and ask where you are going, but when I was asked this way, I was suddenly confused again, I still don’t know which hospital Ye Zhi lives in, There is no way to mention where I am going.

I found a place that was slightly sheltered from the wind and sat down, then took out my phone from my bag, and after some consideration, I chose to send Ye Zhi a message in the simplest text: "I am in Shanghai now, where do you live?" Hospital, I'm going to see you."

Ye Zhi didn't reply.

I half leaned against the gray wall, then blocked the wind with my clothes, and lit a cigarette for myself... I think Ye Zhi should reply to my message when the cigarette is finished, but I don't know, she Will you treat me like an uninvited guest and get bored?

……

After finishing one cigarette, I continued another one, and gradually began to feel pessimistic, because Ye Zhi did not reply to me within the set time as expected.

I didn't want to wait passively for so long, so I finally got on the airport bus and wandered all the way to the city.

……

Shanghai is really big!Finding someone is undoubtedly looking for a needle in a haystack. I simply got off the car on the road where I rented a house. I didn't mean to seek pain, but I just thought I should take a look...

After a while, the sky completely darkened, but until now, Ye Zhi still hadn't replied to the message.

While I was thinking wildly, I couldn't help but feel a little desolate in my heart... This desolation has nothing to do with whether Ye Zhi paid attention to me or not, it was just because I was walking on a familiar street, and all I could feel were things. Human breath.

After walking another stop, I subconsciously stopped... Opposite me was a shoe store hidden in neon lights... I just glanced at it, and the light that came straight over me made me feel dazed. I saw a certain scene a year ago: that day, it was Lu Jia’s birthday, and I bought her a pair of shoes with half a month’s salary, which she had wanted for a long time... She first blamed me, and then ignored everyone’s eyes Hugging me fiercely, she whispered in my ear: We must be together in this life...

I can no longer remember whether I had the confidence to be together for the rest of my life. I just remember that her smiling face and the neon lights illuminated that cold night together, and my heart was also warm.

Up to this moment, I still believe that, at least that day, Lu Jia never thought of leaving Shanghai or me...But people are not a stone after all, people will change, otherwise I would not be walking alone on the street at this moment , I didn’t leave everything to go to Dali.

Looking back on the past six months in Dali, I can’t say I have gained anything, but I feel that my mentality has matured a lot. I didn’t deliberately hate or forget, but I just accepted some facts more and more calmly.

It wasn't until I returned to Shanghai again that some feelings surged.

……

I walked away quickly, and the bar where I drank with Wang Lei that day appeared on my left again... The bar is not big, but there is a band performing in it. My mind is full of that late night, the melody of the song "Goodbye, Twentieth Century".

It would be great if time could be turned back... I will definitely take Wang Lei to Dali, it has nothing to do with her status, I just want her to live well in this world.

Thinking of her appearance and some words she said to me... There was warmth in the eye sockets again, and then tears fell... My heart hurts like being torn apart. Leaning on the glass window, one hand firmly grasped his heart.

And until this time, I didn’t know why I was so afraid of going back to Shanghai, because the end was like this... What I experienced was not just loneliness, but a cross that was nailed to this city by a heart-wrenching feeling Up, not a ray of sunlight in sight.

……

I finally went to a fruit shop with no memories, bought some apples, and I was ready to see Ye Zhi anytime, but God seemed to play a joke on me... Ye Zhi still didn't reply information.

I couldn't help laughing at myself, how good is our relationship?If there is really some unusual atmosphere between the two of us, why didn't I have her cell phone number until now?
Otherwise, I don't need to use such an inefficient tool as WeChat to contact her.

I finally sent her a voice invitation using WeChat, but 30 seconds later, the cold text reminded me that the other party's mobile phone might not be with me.

……

Carrying the fruit I bought, I went to the Bund by car again, feeling the prosperity here is still there, the loneliness and emptiness in my heart are still there, and the only thing I will never leave is the cigarette in my pocket. There are only two cigarettes left. The homeless man wanted one and ordered one himself.

I gradually felt ridiculous... I didn't know why I rushed all the way back to Shanghai.Last night, at the most optimistic time, I even thought it would be a small surprise for Ye Zhi, so I didn't say anything in advance.

Now, I don't think so anymore, my heart is full of anxiety of not being taken seriously... I am more and more dominated by this feeling of anxiety, and then I get angry in my heart, and throw all the fruits I just bought into my hand Then I booked a flight from Shanghai to Kunming tomorrow morning.

I was even ashamed to call Dai Qiang and ask him out for dinner. I just bought a bowl of instant noodles, borrowed some boiling water from the small shop, and squatted down on the side of the road to eat after soaking.

……

The phone finally vibrated, and I thought it must be Ye Zhi's reply, but it was from Yang Sisi, who hadn't contacted me since she left, and she asked with a smell of gunpowder: "Are you going to die?...Why did you put Cao on the phone?" Did Xiaobei come to see me?"

"This is a misunderstanding."

"I misunderstood you... He said convincingly that he met you at the bar in the ancient city last night, and you told him that I was hospitalized... Excuse me, what kind of disease do I have... lovesickness?"

"He said all the words, you just need to explain to him."

"He's already explained it clearly enough... I'm just wondering if you fell ill in Dali and dare to talk nonsense!"

I gritted my teeth, and finally explained: "This is really a misunderstanding... I was drinking with a friend in a bar yesterday, and we happened to talk about a friend from Shanghai who was hospitalized... Cao Xiaobei heard that the wind is rain, and thought I was You are the only friend in Shanghai... so I rushed over to see you overnight, it's really not my fault!"

"Hehe... Which friend of yours in Shanghai is hospitalized, do I know him?"

"I know...it's Ye Zhi."

"You feel very distressed... Otherwise, how could you chat with your friends?"

"Look at what you said!"

This time, it was already half an hour after Yang Sisi replied to the message: "Where are you now?"

"The Bund."

After a while, Yang Sisi sent a message: "I almost didn't realize it... After thinking for a long time, is there a place called the Bund near the Erhai Lake... I suddenly realized that it is the Bund in Shanghai... Mi Gao, you can really do it Ah, I killed you before, and you refused to go back to Shanghai...I didn't expect you to come back so easily this time...Should I be happy for you, or sad?"

I was a little confused, originally this was something that shouldn't have twists and turns, but I met Cao Xiaobei in the ancient city last night and had such a misunderstanding...Of course I could choose to lie to Yang Sisi and say that I was in Dali.

But I can't do this, even if Yang Sisi feels that one is more selective than the other because of this, it is not a correct result.

(End of this chapter)