I'm waiting for you in the wind and snow

Chapter 176 Nicole
In 3 minutes, in addition to smoking a cigarette, it is also enough to sing a song, and it is also enough for my mood to change from calm to ups and downs.Seriously, after that songstress sang "Elope", I really wanted to go over and have a drink with her, or chat, but she has already started singing the next song...

It was only then that I realized that it was her job that everyone used for entertainment, and she must have had a bad life, otherwise she would not have been reduced to singing in such a deserted bar... I just don’t know, thinking back When she came to Dali with vigor and vigor, and thinking about her current situation, does she really have no regrets at all?
At least, I can understand her pain from the perspective of a bystander. After all, she eloped to Dali with a man at the beginning, but now she is the only one left, singing alone in such an alley, Talk to yourself alone.

After "Elope", she sang about four or five more songs, and then ended tonight's singing. While she was sorting out her instruments and scores, I went into her bar. Although I was a little embarrassed because of the strangeness, I still Said to her: "Hello, when you were singing just now, I was sitting in the bar opposite... I think the song you sang cannot be judged by pure good or bad, it is more like...more like I sing about my mood, so I really want to chat with you... If you are not busy, I will buy you a drink."

She froze for a moment, then replied, "Are you flirting with me?"

I smiled: "That's not counting... I remember all the things you said before you sang elope... If you are willing to share, I want to hear about your experience."

"A writer? Came to Dali to find writing materials."

I quickly explained: "No...no, I'm just an ordinary person, doing an ordinary job..."

"Oh, I met a writer once...anyone in a bar."

I smiled, she is quite a relaxed woman, she was not too wary of a stranger like me, maybe because I was sincere enough.

……

She found a table and sat down. She took a cigarette out of my cigarette case, lit it for herself, and after taking a sip, she asked me: "If you go to a bar to drink alone, what should you do in your heart?" Have you hidden a lot of things?"

"Before I heard you sing, I always thought I was a very rational person. After listening to you sing, I doubted myself a little. Maybe this is not rational, but cowardice!"

"Haha... I don't think I have the ability to change a person's mind."

"You really did it... That's why I really want to chat with you... Not to pick up girls, but to have a serious chat for a while."

"Ah."

After a brief silence, I asked, "What's your name?"

"Just call me Nicole."

"So Nicole... can you tell me about yourself?"

Nicole looked at me, then took another deep breath on a cigarette, and I realized that she might not be a straight-talking person, but today was different...

She finally smiled and said: "Two years ago today, I came to Dali with him... During the Chinese New Year last year, he left Dali... I don't know why I sang that song just now, maybe it was because I didn't Be willing...I don't believe that a person who elopes to Dali with me will finally leave...but this is the truth!"

"May I ask, why did you elope?"

Nicole showed memories, and after a while she still smiled and said to me: "He and I both come from a small county in Jiangsu. Before we came to Dali, we already had a marriage contract... In the eyes of others, we are also regarded as Well-connected, right...his father is a painter, and my father is the president of the court."

Speaking of this, the smile froze on Nicole's face, and then she said to me: "Four years ago, his father suffered from pancreatic cancer. In order to see a doctor for his father, he first spent all his savings and then sold them. He bought the family house, but this is an incurable disease, so his father passed away a year before we were going to get married... My family is more realistic, thinking that he doesn't even have a house, and after marriage, he can only rely on renting a house. I still owe so much foreign debt, I'm sure I won't be able to live well... I just want to ruin the previous marriage contract..."

After a short pause, she said again: "Hehe... What is a marriage contract?...A marriage contract is the most sacred promise in this world. In my heart, he is the one who should spend the rest of my life with me...Since then, I have been Going to work, going to a bar in the county town to sing at night... After a year, I finally paid off all the debts with him... I thought I could get married, but the resistance in reality is getting bigger and bigger... My dad My mother began to force me to go on blind dates with other men, and threatened me with nurturing feelings to make a choice... I was really depressed and hated such a choice... I could only choose to leave the county town where I had lived for more than ten years and be with him I fled to Dali... Like most people who have never been here, I regard this place as the last piece of pure land in my life, but I never thought that I did not lose him in the county where I was born, but lost him here... ..."

Nicole's experience made my heart very heavy.

She drank a can of beer first, then asked me with a self-deprecating smile: "Isn't it ironic?"

"If I'm telling the truth, you'll be even more upset."

"How can you be sad?... The saddest days have passed."

I lit a cigarette, trying not to feel so heavy, and when I smoked almost halfway, I said to her: "You have given him everything you can, why did he leave you?"

"I'm also thinking about it... But, I really don't know what he is doing for it! He only left a text message to break up, and he disappeared... Even if it is death, it is not as clean as death, right?"

Nicole laughed and cried at the same time, and in the end she didn't know where to put her hands...

If love was a bullet, Nicole would have died.

She finally wiped away her tears and said to me, "I haven't known your name after talking for so long."

"Migo."

"Rice cake?... If people are full, shouldn't they have pain?"

"Hehe, if people only live for food and clothing, I think they are quite happy... That's why my father gave me such a name, maybe because he wants me to live a simpler life."

Nicole smiled, then turned her head to face the deserted street and lost her mind, and asked me after a while: "Rice Cake...you are a man, can you tell me from the standpoint of a man that I love him so much, Why did he leave me?"

"Maybe she doesn't love her anymore, or she may have another new love..."

Nicole interrupted me: "He's not such a shallow guy."

"I haven't finished talking yet... I think the biggest possibility is that he doesn't want to drag you down anymore. Leaving is sometimes a kind of fulfillment."

Nicole looked at me...

I lit another cigarette for myself, and said, "I also had an unpleasant experience emotionally... Before coming to Dali, I was working in Shanghai, and I had a girlfriend whom I had been with for more than three years... half a year A few days ago, she wanted to study abroad, and the price was that we broke up...I agreed, not because I didn't love her, at least I still loved her at the time...Because she had a better choice, I didn't want to drag her down... Three years, three years One year is really too long, I let her live in disappointment every day, I am sorry enough for her!"

"You can fight... why are you so self-righteous?"

"I have been in Shanghai for four years... If I can succeed through hard work, I should succeed..." After a short pause, I continued: "I am not making excuses for myself...The whole of Shanghai, and even the whole society, is There are so many people struggling, but how many are really successful?... Most people are just cannon fodder in the process of socialization, because the distribution of wealth must not be even, this is the law!"

"Even if what you said is right, what does it have to do with love?"

"I don't know...but the current climate is like this...People have become accustomed to bundling material needs with love needs...so, before you get married, many men and women will quarrel because of the amount of bride price Open friendship... But I don't want to calm down and think about it, was it for love when we were together, or for today's bride price?... I am not criticizing the custom of bride price, nor am I speaking for men... If a man has a hundred thousand, The dowry gift of 15 is justified. At this time, it is unreasonable for a woman to ask for [-]... On the contrary, a man has [-], but he is only willing to give [-], or he doesn't want to... That is the man's fault!" "

After a short pause, I said again: "If you don't have the ability to change everything, you should understand that you should do everything according to your ability... including love!"

(End of this chapter)