I'm waiting for you in the wind and snow

Chapter 138 Demonic Thoughts
After chatting with Yang Sisi, I was not in a hurry to go back to Longkan. I cleaned the newly rented house together with her. During the cleaning process, she took me to one of the rooms and said to me: "In the future , this room is yours."

I scanned it subconsciously, and then asked: "You feel your conscience, is this room the most trashy room among the three rooms?"

"Only evil people will use an evil heart to distort other people's good intentions... If you think this room is rubbish, you can choose the remaining two rooms."

"I'll take a look."

As I said that, I put down the mop in my hand, and then went to the second room under Yang Sisi's contemptuous eyes... Although this room is not small, the lighting is obviously not as good as the one Yang Sisi allocated to me just now.

I went to the third room, and this room has no advantages. Not only is the space small, but the windows are not big enough, so there is only a bed and a wardrobe in it, and even the TV hanging on the wall , and obviously much smaller than the other two rooms.

Yang Sisi, who was standing behind me, said to me with a half-smile: "You always feel that the whole world is persecuting you... why don't you just live in this room, it's smaller than the other ones. Two rooms are more secure."

I ignored it, but asked her with speculation: "Taozi and Tetsuo are two people, they definitely can't live in this room... So you originally planned to live in this small room for yourself?"

"You would never have guessed that I am such a high-spirited person."

I shook my head, curled my lips and replied: "You are not a gentleman... You chose this small room because you feel less secure than anyone else... And I also know that after you live in, you will buy a lot of gadgets Fill this room up so you'll feel more secure."

Yang Sisi put her arms around herself and said, "You don't have to act like you know me well."

"Not only do you feel insecure, but you also like to speak hard."

"Don't I have any advantages in your eyes?"

"Lack of security and stubbornness, from another perspective, are actually advantages...it will make you look cuter than other girls...at least not a person who likes to complain."

As I said that, I mopped the floor of this small room with a mop...

Yang Sisi stood against the wall again. After being silent for a while, she changed the subject and asked me, "It's time for dinner. What do you want? I'll order takeaway."

"Tomato and egg noodles."

"You have such a noodle personality, you just eat noodles, right?"

"Are you running on me, are you running out of addiction?"

"That's right...if I don't squeeze you out every day, I'll feel like eating is tasteless."

"I guess I must have done a lot of wicked things to you in my previous life, or else you wouldn't be able to hate me so much in this life!"

"In my next life, I will still hate you."

I touched my left cheek, and replied full of emotion: "You don't look like a Shanghai girl with this filthy vibe about you. Shanghai girls are so young and beautiful!"

"Then who looks like a Shanghai girl? Ye Zhi... or your ex-girlfriend?"

I stared blankly at her, speechless for a while...Actually, I shouldn't have said these things to her, because there are exceptions to everything. Everyone thinks that BJ girls are very eloquent and bold, but some BJs Girls are also very young, so why can't Yang Sisi, who is a girl from Shanghai, be a special case and be more forthright?

……

On the platform where you can see the sea, Yang Sisi and I sat under the umbrella and ate the takeaway she just ordered, probably because the view here is surprisingly good, and all you can see are the most beautiful natural landscapes in Dali, so my nearest The tense emotions have been relaxed a lot.

I quickly ate the bowl of noodles, then lit myself a cigarette...

I became more comfortable, and even hoped to be a blind wanderer in Dali like this, not for ideals, not for love, but to live happily for myself... This is not a negative expression, because this idea only stays at this moment At this moment, people, there will always be a time to relax.

I looked at Yang Sisi again. Like most girls, she likes to eat while playing with her mobile phone. It seems that she doesn't pay much attention to the beautiful scenery at this time.

When she found that I was looking at her, she put down her phone and said to me, "You've finished your meal, so why are you looking around here if you don't go back to comfort Ye Zhi?"

My mind jumped and I replied: "I suddenly feel that this world is not very good!"

"People like you are the most annoying. You feel that the whole world is sorry for you all day long, but you never think about what you have contributed to this world."

"I don't think this world is sorry for me, I just feel that it is not very good... Think about it, if this world is really so perfect and everyone is kind to others, why do people still want to have a home so much? Anyway, it will be everywhere Seeing the face of charity... For us, home is a safe haven. If you are bullied outside, there will be someone to comfort you at home; if you are cold and hungry outside, there will be a bowl of hot water at home Porridge, it is precisely because you have a home that you dare to fight for yourself in this world..."

Yang Sisi interrupted me and said, "You mean, if the world is good enough, we can give up our homes?"

"You are very savvy... just like a country, a country is also a big family; why do people divide territories and establish a country, it is to deal with wars, protect their own achievements in this world, and even to plunder others If the world is fair enough, why do human beings still start wars? If there are no wars and no predators, then naturally there will be no need to establish a country. Without a country, there will be no small Home!"

"Your idea is really magical!"

"Actually, when I say this, I just want to express that I should have a family of my own."

Yang Sisi looked at me and replied: "It seems that you have been bullied by this world enough!"

I squinted my eyes and took a deep breath of the cigarette. I didn't know why I suddenly wanted to talk to Yang Sisi these nonsensical words, but my desire for home has never changed. Ever since I was with Lu Jia, I have wanted to We have a small family of just the two of us.

Seeing that I was silent, Yang Sisi asked me again: "Then what kind of home do you want to have?"

"It doesn't need to be very specific, as long as it can give me a sense of fulfillment..." After a short pause, I said to her again: "Do you know how important a sense of fulfillment is to us?"

"I do not know."

"It is a human instinct, just like the pursuit of food and clothing... You say why men like women with big breasts. If you say it is visual stimulation, it is very superficial; When you go in, you will get a sense of fullness; why women like men with big breasts, the same reason is also because it will bring them a sense of fullness... Therefore, the pursuit of fullness is something in the bones of people."

Yang Sisi blushed a little, and said to me for a while: "When the country eliminates the four evils, why didn't you also get rid of hooligans like you? ... Is it appropriate for you to tell me this?"

"Abandon the worldly perspective, don't you think what I said is very philosophical?"

Unmoved, Yang Sisi replied, "Then you can find a woman with big breasts to be your girlfriend."

I was almost choked by my own cigarette, and then I felt a sense of loneliness that I couldn't understand... I think it's also because I am living too confused and lacking a sense of fulfillment, so I said what I just said. , but for me, does the pursuit of fulfillment only come from the needs of my family or my spouse?

I couldn't figure it out.

After a while of silence, I asked Yang Sisi again: "What about you, how do you understand this thing?"

Yang Sisi hardly thought about it, and replied: "With the person I like, anywhere can be home for me."

I watched her, she didn't look like she was joking, and for a split second, I found myself a little struck by her purity and simplicity, because I saw in her what I lacked the most.

At the same time, I also saw a contradictory self.

In my heart, I long for the feeling of home that this newly rented house will bring, but I am worried that this feeling will still lose to reality and cannot last.

(End of this chapter)