I'm going to have a fight with Superman

Chapter 778 Three birds with one stone, diao!

"Hey." At two o'clock in the morning, Constantine leaned against the mottled old wall, his body was exhausted, but his expression was very excited, and he let out a strange and proud laugh.

"Ahem." After laughing for a while, he couldn't help coughing violently again.

Spreading the palm covering his mouth, he saw a pool of scarlet and smelly blood.

"Damn it, my lungs hurt so much, I can barely feel the pain." He cursed, spat bloody phlegm on the floor where the magic circle was drawn, and lit another Sika cigarette.

After smoking seven or eight sticks in a row, my stomach was warm and full.

"Hey hey hey" He stood up and let out a sullen and decisive laugh, "Fuck Satan's ass!"

He ran to the kitchen, found whiskey beside the box containing half a piece of moldy pizza, and drank the remaining half bottle in one gulp.

He belched full of alcohol, and threw away the empty bottle casually, "Pa-ta!"

Then, standing on tiptoe, he rummaged through the display window where the plates were placed and found a palm-length knife.

Zha Kang opened his eyes and looked, his brows were furrowed, the knife hadn't been used for a long time, and it was covered with rust.

He glanced left and right, threw the knife into the sink, and bent over to pick up half a sharp shard of a glass bottle from the dirty floor littered with debris.

Back in the living room, the piece of glass pressed against the right artery and swiped hard.

"呵呵——" The dark red blood shot away, drenching half of his face.

He lowered his hand and let the blood flow.

In an instant, a pool of bright red covered the wooden floor.

Zha Kang intuitively felt that the energy that was already exhausted was quickly gone with the loss of blood.

"Boom—" He fell weakly on the sofa, and his vision began to blur.

"Tick tock." The low voice of the blood was so clear that it was the only thing left in the world.

"Tick tock." There was a second dripping sound in his ear, not from his right wrist, but from his left.

It also stinks of sulfur and burnt pitch.

Zha Kang wanted to elicit a smile, but the muscles at the corners of his mouth couldn't be controlled, so he could only turn to the left expressionlessly.

A pair of big feet!
He saw a pair of paws with black nails like cat's claws.

The soles of the feet, the insteps of the feet, and the ankles all had wounds cut by sharp instruments, and a black liquid like crude oil leaked from the wounds.

The liquid dripped onto the floor and immediately ignited the floor, emitting bursts of black smoke.

Constantine wanted to look up, to see Bigfoot's owner.

But he was so weak that it was difficult to move.

He could only wait for the big foot to fall slowly onto the wooden floor, and he also saw the owner of the foot.

A cut man with disheveled hair, horns on his forehead, and only a strip of cloth wrapped around his waist.

"Satan? You don't look the same as the last time I saw you. That time in Ireland, you dressed like a gay gentleman with 800 years of family history, and now you look like a bum who was taught by ten men with hot sausages. "

Constantine shook his lips a few times and said weakly.

While speaking, he still moved his left hand with difficulty, and covered the wound on the artery of his right wrist with the palm of his hand.

"As many ways to die as there are, Satan has as many faces. You cut your own veins, and I will greet you with a cut body."

"It was so"

"Konstantin, I didn't expect you to be self-defeating. But it's no wonder, terminal lung cancer, hopeless?

Come, come with me, I will lead you to eternal punishment!
Hey hey, from this moment on, you belong to me and will always be mine.

I promise you that in the infinitely long days to come, you will enjoy ten times as much pain and despair every day as you do now. "

Satan's golden eyes were full of carefree smiles.

"Is it a little early for your cousin? I can hold on for a few more minutes." Zha Kang scolded with a smile.

Satan said coldly: "I'll come to see you and see how you are in pain in the remaining few minutes."

"Don't look, I'll tell you."

Constantine gritted his teeth and insisted, squeezing out the little strength left in his body like chewing bagasse.

In an instant, his face was covered with cold sweat.

"The pain right now is like my stomach is filled with the urine of Nazareth, hehehe"

Nazareth is a place name, which is substituted for Jesus.Urine of Nazareth is a derogatory term for holy water.

"I assure you, you will regret saying this in countless tens of thousands of years to come." Satan said with a stiff face.

"Boss, I understand that I am unparalleled in the world, and my soul is unique in the world, but you shouldn't be obsessed with the bright future of Yiyin getting my soul, and ignore the present." Zha Kang's pale cheeks squeezed out a strange smile.

"What's the matter now?" Satan was taken aback.

"Look around, isn't the light a bit dim?" Zha Kang reminded.

"Dark?" Satan didn't react for a while.

"Here comes a guy who likes to devour the light."

Satan suddenly turned around, "Beelzebub, why did you invade my territory?"

"Invasion? No, Boss Lucifer, the soul of the person in front of you belongs to me, based on the oldest right in hell - the soul contract." The hesitant voice of Beelzebub the Lord of the Flies came from the darkness.

"You signed a contract? When did it happen? I have already reached a 'hell contract' with him, don't you know?" Satan asked in surprise.

"What hell contract? I just signed the soul contract with him today, just two hours ago." Beelzebub, the Lord of the Flies, felt uncomfortable, and his tone became urgent, "Konstantin, what did you do?"

"Hehehe, half a month ago, I went to Ireland to look for my old brother Brendan to continue his life.

He is a master of forbidden arts, and I want to find him for a life-saving prescription.

Unfortunately, I am addicted to smoking, he is addicted to alcohol, my lung cancer is in the terminal stage, and his liver cirrhosis is in the terminal stage.

To make matters worse, that bastard signed a soul contract with your boss long ago.

shit, I've never seen a magician as stupid as him.

Others are at least for power, but Brendan trades his soul and Satan for the knowledge and ability to make wine.

Falk, stupid pig! "

When the plot entered its climax, Constantine suddenly became full of strength and shouted loudly.

Beelzebub, Lord of the Flies, glanced at Satan.

Lucifer looked gloomy and said nothing.

"and then?"

"I know Brendan loves wine, so of course I have to bring a small gift. Do you know what the best wine in the world is?" Slacker smiled lowly, "Many people think it's 'Paradise Mountain Wine', from Gotham Cathedral , the private holy water pool of the Heavenly Mountain King."

Lord of the Flies glanced at the gloomy boss, "Use magic to turn heaven's holy water into wine?"

Zha Kang nodded lightly, and said proudly: "I think everyone has heard about the Arkham God of War banquet held by the God of War.

One of the drinks used in banquets is the holy water wine of the highest purity.

I have an invitation letter for the God of War Banquet. Although I am late, I have not lost my drink.

Coincidentally, the night I went to see Brendan in Ireland coincided with the time when he died of illness.

Just like today, His Majesty Satan arrived a few minutes early.

It seems that in the wailing and begging for mercy of us unlucky contractors before dying, He was satisfied and happy.

Well, this is not His Majesty Satan's special hobby, you bastards all have the same virtue. "

"Do you dare to insult the master of hell?" Lord of the Flies stepped forward, as if to harvest his soul.

Zha Kang sneered and remained unmoved.

Satan moved, stepped forward to stop him, and said seriously: "Beelzebub, to save my face, just pretend you haven't been here today."

"Boss Lucifer, I signed a contract with Constantine!" Lord of the Flies excitedly said.

"Hey, the authority of the ancient contract is very high, but the law of hell that's humiliation must be repaid" must not be violated." Zha Kang laughed: "The arrival of His Majesty Lucifer scared Brendan who was tasting wine with me to the crap , The soul of the dead is out of the body.

His Majesty took great satisfaction in his performance.

Afterwards, with a few sweet words, I got Him to accept my toast.
Hahahaha, He took the wine glass I handed over and clinked glasses with me, "

"Have you drank the holy water?" The Lord of the Flies stared at the fly with disbelief, "Can tricks like holy water and wine fool Satan?"

Zha Kang said triumphantly: "No matter how simple a trick is, in the hands of a skilled magician, it can turn decay into magic and falsehood into reality.

Of course, no matter how real, its essence is still holy water.

As long as I snap my fingers lightly, it can immediately turn back to holy water, in your big belly of Lucifer. "

Under the shocked gaze of Lord of the Flies, Satan became a little annoyed, "I was careless, his cunning is not inferior to that of a witch."

"Holy water can kill ordinary demons, but to Satan, it is just a good medicine for diarrhea.

But when Satan's intestines were rotten and he clutched his stomach and wailed, my old brother died.

Poor Brendan, lucky Brendan, who has done a lot of evil, took my heavenly direct card and happily entered the "sheepfold" of Jehovah. "

Zha Kang smiled strangely at Lord of the Flies, "So, do you understand? Your boss has been humiliated by a mortal mage again.

Tell me, how many times was He humiliated that night? "

"Only once." Lucifer said immediately.

The Lord of the Flies opened his mouth, wanting to say that drinking the holy water and taking away the mage soul that already belonged to him should be counted as two things, two humiliations.

But then, he thought of the present, if at this time
"Well, just once," Lord of the Flies said against his will.

Zha Kang laughed for a while, nodded and said: "Okay, once, anyway, there are already three, one less is quite a lot, and one more is not much."

"What three?" Lord of the Flies had a bad feeling.

"Belial, the king of lies, come out." Satan said with a gloomy face.

The room was even more dimly lit, and a dark specter composed of thousands of faces emerged from the floor.

"I also signed a soul contract with him, just tonight, an hour ago, in this room." Belial said with a gloomy face.

Constantine smiled and said: "I have humiliated His Majesty Satan, according to the laws of hell, my soul should belong to him.

But I also signed a soul contract with the Lord of the Flies and the Lord of Lies—as long as I die, my soul will belong to you.

Pay attention to your soul contract, which is a complete soul and cannot be divided.

By the way, this restrictive clause was imposed by the two majesties.

Said that I was worried that I would escape the 'punishment' with a split soul, hehehe."

"You deliberately set up a bureau to deceive us?!"

The dark magic flames on Lord of Flies and Lord of Lies rippling violently like water waves, exuding various emotions such as annoyance, gloom, shame, anger, and murderous intent.

"Idiot, when you signed the contract with him, didn't you realize that he was already my prey? Even more stupid, he actually signed soul contracts with the two of you in a rented house, but you didn't find anything unusual !?" Satan said angrily.

"I" the Lord of the Flies opened his mouth, speechless to explain, he could only turn to Zha Kang, and roared, "Bastard, what have you done and how did you do it?"

　ps: This is a famous scene in the history of American comics, and it is also one of the pinnacles of Zha Kang's life.

　　Many oriental people, especially those in the Celestial Dynasty, find it incomprehensible, and feel that this plot is particularly nonsense.

　　They feel that the dignified Lucifer is so much higher than Constance, why should he be at his mercy?

　　In fact, this is mainly a cultural difference between the East and the West.

　　First of all, Easterners sanctify gods and gods, thinking that gods are right and omniscient noble beings.

　　The gods in the West are just powerful beings, whose personalities are very similar to human beings.

　　Finally, the modern Celestial Dynasty people, most of us do not agree with the behavior of "weisheng holding the pillar" when it comes to credit.

　　Well, in ancient times, we Chinese people actually paid great attention to reputation, but now, no matter whether it is a white cat or a black cat, it is a good cat if it catches mice
　　To put it a long way, some Westerners are dishonest, but the "spirit of contract" is at least publicly accepted by the general public.

　　Therefore, there is a setting that even Satan cannot break the contract—similar to the fact that Sanqing cannot violate the agreement with mortals, not because of the morality of Sanqing, but the power of the contract.

　　Changing to Dongfang Xianxia, ​​all the contract rules were also broken by powerful mana.

　　But in Western fantasy novels, no matter how powerful you are, no matter how humble others are, the contract you signed cannot be violated.

　　
　
(End of this chapter)