the president's wife
Chapter 151: Choices
Chapter 151: When An Ran chooses to wake up, Cheng Hanlei has already bought breakfast. Seeing An Ran sitting over, the two of them finished their breakfast quietly.
After breakfast, the two sat on the sofa.
After a night's rest, the two of them felt much better.Cheng Hanlei looked at An Ran who was sitting opposite, her eyes were waiting quietly.
"Han Lei, I'm sorry, I called you last night when I was in a state of confusion. I don't know who to call, and I don't know what to do. Did you and the senior quarrel because of me?"
"I'm fine, you don't have to worry about me. An Ran, I want to hear what you think now."
Cheng Hanlei shook her head. Between her and Lei Chenyi, there was no definite point where a balance could be reached.
"Han Lei, am I really wrong?"
Cheng Hanlei didn't answer, but just looked at An Ran quietly, waiting for An Ran to speak.An Ran gently bit her lips, shrank into the sofa, curled up and hugged her knees, and then said silently: "Han Lei, I always felt that I just fell in love with Guan Rui, and I didn't plan on him. Once I found out that I fell in love with him, I stopped trying for his money. I just wanted to love him, and I just wanted to see him occasionally."
"I know he has a fiancée, and I'm sad. But I can't find a reason to give up. I just want to be by his side. It has nothing to do with whether he has a fiancée. I always feel that pure love doesn't need to think too much about him." .One day when I'm really tired, I'll let go. But now, things don't seem to be what I thought."
"For the first time, I found out that I was wrong. When Murong Xue stood in front of me, I felt that I was a lot shorter in an instant. In front of her, I looked so small. Just because she can stand upright Tell me in front of me, leave Rui. But I can only stand in front of her, and I am not even qualified to say no. At that moment, I clearly felt as if I fell into the dust all of a sudden."
"I was greedy for the occasional tenderness that Rui gave me, and made myself as low as possible, just wanting to keep that warmth. From childhood to adulthood, my mother only has my younger brother in my eyes. My existence is to try to make my younger brother okay. , My existence is to support the whole family. No one cares whether I am doing well or not? Are I tired? All they want is a result."
"I can only laugh when I'm sad, because crying can't change anything. I smile every day, as if it has nothing to do with me when I get off the couch. In fact, I have never been happy. Apart from you, Rui is the first I feel a warm person. His arms are very warm, and the way he looks at me while holding me makes me feel very happy."
"Even if he never said love to me, even if he never promised me, but in that look, I have sunk beyond my control. I am greedy for that kind of warmth, the kind of warmth that I long for. I know I am not good enough for him, and I know that he has something to do. And I can only be a small existence, appearing in his sight when he thinks of me. I know that one day he gets married, maybe You don’t need me anymore, or if you get married, you will give up on me. Don’t think of me anymore, and I know that I can’t have an ending with him, but I still want to keep a little warmth between me and him.”
"I even want him to give me a child, a piece of evidence that can prove that I have embraced him once. In the eyes of others, I am cheap and stupid. But Han Lei, Dang Rui told me that he let go No more hands. When I heard him say that he was jealous of me getting closer to Qiu Ze, my heart softened. I can't say no to him."
The tears that An Ran thought she had shed last night poured into her eyes again.
Both of them are people who lack warmth in their hearts.So when Shangguan Jue appeared, when she felt warm, she couldn't help but want to try to get closer.I wanted to catch it, but in the end, I was forced to lose that warmth.She understands An Ran's feelings, two people can become good friends, more because their similar feelings make each other closer.
Seeing An Ran's tears fall again, Cheng Hanlei walked over, hugged An Ran gently, then put An Ran in her arms, and asked softly: "An Ran, do we really know how to love now? We can be sure How long can this love last?"
Heartbeat, and love.
Can you really tell the difference?
An Ran was choked up by Cheng Hanlei's silent question.
In Cheng Hanlei's arms, An Ran gently shook her head and said, "I don't know."
There was a moment of confusion.
If Murong Xue hadn't found her, maybe at this time, when Cheng Hanlei asked her for the second time, she could still answer like the first time, that she loved her and couldn't do without her.But now, when that kind of embarrassment and humbleness, that slap not only slapped her face, but also slapped her heart, An Ran found that it was hard to say a definite answer.
Is it a momentary infatuation or love, can she really tell the difference?
Or, he found a piece of father's warmth in Shangguan Rui.
Can she really tell the difference?
"An Ran, I was tied to death in a cage, and I can't break free now. I don't want to see you in pain, they shouldn't have to bear this at their age. Try to leave? That Qiu Ze is very good to you, can you give it a try? Accept it. It’s not that Shangguan Rui is bad, but that he will never give up Murong Xue for you. Only Murong Xue can help him, like they can’t give up their own stepping stones for someone who can’t help them .”
I don't know if I'm talking about myself or An Ran.
Cheng Hanlei's voice carried an imperceptible pain.
Silently closing his eyes, his eyes were full of sadness.
"Leave?"
Can I leave?
An Ran was silent, with her eyes closed, tears kept streaming out.
"An Ran, I have tried to fight against the power, but in the end I was defeated so badly. Do I have to sign an agreement with Lei Chenyi? This world is so realistic. If you don't go deep into it, you will never know how many people there will be during the period." Dirty and dark. The so-called free democracies are ridiculous. Power and money are the most important. When we are not strong enough, we can only learn to take a step back. My step back is to rely on Lei Chenyi, and You should be very clear in your heart about how your regression is."
"I remember I persuaded you before, and you also told me that you just love him. You just want to guard him silently and don't ask for anything else. Your persistence makes me don't know how to persuade you again. So I can only watch helplessly. Watching you devote yourself, watching you go to a dead end, all I can do is stay by your side, and give you a shoulder to lean on when you are hurt."
"But now, you should be very clear. If Murong Xue really makes trouble at school, you will really ruin everything. Just standing in front of her will make you feel ashamed and humble. You can really bear it." The pressure from the eyes of the whole school, and the infamy of seducing married men on your back? Mistress, mistress, shameless, trampling, these words will always accompany you. Can you really bear those strange eyes?"
"Even you will be ordered to drop out of school. Without a degree, you will only be able to live in the lowest state. You will still be the old An Ran, and you will never be able to raise your head to be a human being. Do you really want to be like this?"
"An Ran, I have no choice. Because Lei Chenyi hasn't gotten tired of playing for a day, I can't leave. I can only wait for him to get tired of playing, or wait for four years before I can be free. And you, happier than me, choose The power is in your hands, you can choose to choose a new life, instead of really pushing yourself into a dilemma, now you still have a way out."
I didn't talk about this last night because An Ran was still in the mood.She couldn't listen to her persuasion at all, and she was too tired to talk properly.
An Ran didn't speak, leaning against Cheng Hanlei's arms, tears poured out continuously.
In fact, I already had the answer in my heart, but I just couldn't bear it.
*************************************************
After the phone was smashed, Cheng Hanlei didn't buy a new phone.
Murong Xue gave An Ran three days, and An Ran went to class with her and went back to the dormitory together after the two of them talked that day.Cheng Hanlei knew that An Ran was making a decision, and no matter what the result was, she would have to bear the accompanying pain.
After returning to school early, the principal called Cheng Hanlei to the office and praised her for the reason Lei Chenyi asked Zuo Jianning to find last time. Cheng Hanlei just listened silently without explaining or responding.
It was a quiet day, the night before the deadline.
The two of them were in the dormitory when the dormitory phone rang suddenly.
"Han Lei, call."
Ever since Zuo Jianning wandered around the school and posted on the forum, almost no one called Cheng Hanlei.
Zhu Yuqing was the same as usual when she was in the dormitory, crouching on it and watching anime with a laptop.And An Ran hadn't come out in the bathroom yet, Ling Yu'er, who was visiting the forum, could only run aside to answer the phone.When I heard the call was for Cheng Hanlei, I was a little surprised. When I was sure that it was Cheng Hanlei, I immediately looked at Cheng Hanlei ambiguously, and while covering the microphone, said: "Hanlei, this voice is very magnetic, really nice. Be honest , Did you hook up with your family's senior Zuo behind his back?"
Cheng Hanlei sat on the bed, listened to Ling Yuer's teasing, and got up in confusion. For several days, no one called the dormitory to find her. In the past, the dormitory number was passed on by the boys, and there were so many calls in the dormitory.Later, those who were annoyed could only unplug the phone line to be quiet.
Now that she suddenly said that there was a phone call for her, Cheng Hanlei really couldn't guess who was looking for her for a while.
Walking over, when brushing against Ling Yuer, I heard Ling Yuer muttering: "Why is this voice so familiar? Where have you heard it?"
Cheng Hanlei had already held the phone and let out a hello.At the same time, she heard Ling Yu'er's murmuring voice, and when a figure flashed in her mind, she had already spoken to the phone.
"Didn't you get the phone?"
It was Lei Chenyi who called. Ever since she left that day, he thought she would call to apologize to him.She couldn't fail to see such an obvious thing.And she waited for so long, the phone stared out of the hole, and she didn't see a call.
Even if it is to catch a plane, it is too late to fight.After getting off the plane, you should make a phone call to report that you are safe. Even if you are too tired to get off the plane and have to deal with safety matters, you will have time the next day.But after waiting all morning, the phone still didn't ring. When he was eating with Zuo Jianning, he picked up the phone countless times and kept pressing the phone. He always thought that the phone was out of battery, so he made a call from time to time. Is it because I can't get in, what's more, go to the public phone aside, call my mobile phone, and try to receive the call.
He immediately bought the mobile phone, reissued the card, and then couriered it to her school.When I received the call, I should know what he meant, but after waiting for a long time, there was still no news at the end.It is confirmed that the mobile phone has arrived and has been signed for by the dormitory.Before she could call, he called by himself, but he was still prompted to turn off the phone.
Lei Chenyi was standing in the room at this time, looking at the clothes left on Zuo Jianning's car and the bracelet on it, Lei Chenyi had the urge to strangle Cheng Hanlei to death.
"Usually no one looks for me, and it doesn't matter if the phone is there or not."
Cheng Hanlei said calmly, Ling Yu'er would look curiously at her from time to time, but Cheng Hanlei just leaned there holding the phone, with a very normal expression on her face.
"Still angry about what happened that day?"
Lei Chenyi's voice was a little low.
"There will be classes later, so I hang up."
Cheng Hanlei hardly wanted to mention what happened that day, her legs still seemed to be hurting, and her heart hurt even more.
Hanging up the phone with a bang, before Lei Chenyi could stop him, he reached out and unplugged the phone line.
"Han Lei, who is it?"
"Harassing phone calls."
Cheng Hanlei responded lightly, and walked back to the bed. At this moment, An Ran also came out of the bathroom, and glanced at Cheng Hanlei's calm face, but the two of them were as familiar as one person, with those slightly stiff eyebrows and eyes, and the trace of worry. With Cheng Hanlei.
"Han Lei, that's not right, I remembered, that was the voice of Lei Liwei who had dinner with me last time, why did he call you...you don't think..."
Ling Yu'er immediately jumped up as if she had discovered a new continent, and rushed to Cheng Hanlei with a gossip look, looking at Cheng Hanlei with sparkling eyes, with a look of great curiosity.
"Yu'er, what nonsense are you talking about? Han Lei and Senior Zuo have a very good relationship, don't gossip, the gossip is on Han Lei."
When Ling Yuer approached Cheng Hanlei, An Ran frowned and answered Ling Yuer, she knew that Ling Yuer did not mean anything malicious, but such speculation would make Cheng Hanlei uncomfortable.Why did Lei Chenyi call the dormitory so carelessly? It was because the quarrel between the two of them was too stiff last time.For the past two days, she has been delaying the time to speak, and has not noticed Han Lei.
"I'm not talking nonsense, obviously..."
Ling Yu'er was aggrieved by An Ran's words.
"Yu'er, you're overthinking. The voice on the phone is almost the same. It's a senior from the school next door."
Cheng Hanlei said calmly, her eyes were persuasive.
Ling Yu'er stuck out her tongue, and said exaggeratedly: "Maybe it's because of my rsiyesi. After I met Lei Liwei, I found that I fell in love with him...Han Lei, An Ran, wait a minute I'm with Yuqing."
On the other side of the phone, Lei Chenyi was hung up, and when the beeping busy tone came from the phone, he immediately called back, but he couldn't get through.
"Left, help me book a ticket to M City, the fastest."
After breakfast, the two sat on the sofa.
After a night's rest, the two of them felt much better.Cheng Hanlei looked at An Ran who was sitting opposite, her eyes were waiting quietly.
"Han Lei, I'm sorry, I called you last night when I was in a state of confusion. I don't know who to call, and I don't know what to do. Did you and the senior quarrel because of me?"
"I'm fine, you don't have to worry about me. An Ran, I want to hear what you think now."
Cheng Hanlei shook her head. Between her and Lei Chenyi, there was no definite point where a balance could be reached.
"Han Lei, am I really wrong?"
Cheng Hanlei didn't answer, but just looked at An Ran quietly, waiting for An Ran to speak.An Ran gently bit her lips, shrank into the sofa, curled up and hugged her knees, and then said silently: "Han Lei, I always felt that I just fell in love with Guan Rui, and I didn't plan on him. Once I found out that I fell in love with him, I stopped trying for his money. I just wanted to love him, and I just wanted to see him occasionally."
"I know he has a fiancée, and I'm sad. But I can't find a reason to give up. I just want to be by his side. It has nothing to do with whether he has a fiancée. I always feel that pure love doesn't need to think too much about him." .One day when I'm really tired, I'll let go. But now, things don't seem to be what I thought."
"For the first time, I found out that I was wrong. When Murong Xue stood in front of me, I felt that I was a lot shorter in an instant. In front of her, I looked so small. Just because she can stand upright Tell me in front of me, leave Rui. But I can only stand in front of her, and I am not even qualified to say no. At that moment, I clearly felt as if I fell into the dust all of a sudden."
"I was greedy for the occasional tenderness that Rui gave me, and made myself as low as possible, just wanting to keep that warmth. From childhood to adulthood, my mother only has my younger brother in my eyes. My existence is to try to make my younger brother okay. , My existence is to support the whole family. No one cares whether I am doing well or not? Are I tired? All they want is a result."
"I can only laugh when I'm sad, because crying can't change anything. I smile every day, as if it has nothing to do with me when I get off the couch. In fact, I have never been happy. Apart from you, Rui is the first I feel a warm person. His arms are very warm, and the way he looks at me while holding me makes me feel very happy."
"Even if he never said love to me, even if he never promised me, but in that look, I have sunk beyond my control. I am greedy for that kind of warmth, the kind of warmth that I long for. I know I am not good enough for him, and I know that he has something to do. And I can only be a small existence, appearing in his sight when he thinks of me. I know that one day he gets married, maybe You don’t need me anymore, or if you get married, you will give up on me. Don’t think of me anymore, and I know that I can’t have an ending with him, but I still want to keep a little warmth between me and him.”
"I even want him to give me a child, a piece of evidence that can prove that I have embraced him once. In the eyes of others, I am cheap and stupid. But Han Lei, Dang Rui told me that he let go No more hands. When I heard him say that he was jealous of me getting closer to Qiu Ze, my heart softened. I can't say no to him."
The tears that An Ran thought she had shed last night poured into her eyes again.
Both of them are people who lack warmth in their hearts.So when Shangguan Jue appeared, when she felt warm, she couldn't help but want to try to get closer.I wanted to catch it, but in the end, I was forced to lose that warmth.She understands An Ran's feelings, two people can become good friends, more because their similar feelings make each other closer.
Seeing An Ran's tears fall again, Cheng Hanlei walked over, hugged An Ran gently, then put An Ran in her arms, and asked softly: "An Ran, do we really know how to love now? We can be sure How long can this love last?"
Heartbeat, and love.
Can you really tell the difference?
An Ran was choked up by Cheng Hanlei's silent question.
In Cheng Hanlei's arms, An Ran gently shook her head and said, "I don't know."
There was a moment of confusion.
If Murong Xue hadn't found her, maybe at this time, when Cheng Hanlei asked her for the second time, she could still answer like the first time, that she loved her and couldn't do without her.But now, when that kind of embarrassment and humbleness, that slap not only slapped her face, but also slapped her heart, An Ran found that it was hard to say a definite answer.
Is it a momentary infatuation or love, can she really tell the difference?
Or, he found a piece of father's warmth in Shangguan Rui.
Can she really tell the difference?
"An Ran, I was tied to death in a cage, and I can't break free now. I don't want to see you in pain, they shouldn't have to bear this at their age. Try to leave? That Qiu Ze is very good to you, can you give it a try? Accept it. It’s not that Shangguan Rui is bad, but that he will never give up Murong Xue for you. Only Murong Xue can help him, like they can’t give up their own stepping stones for someone who can’t help them .”
I don't know if I'm talking about myself or An Ran.
Cheng Hanlei's voice carried an imperceptible pain.
Silently closing his eyes, his eyes were full of sadness.
"Leave?"
Can I leave?
An Ran was silent, with her eyes closed, tears kept streaming out.
"An Ran, I have tried to fight against the power, but in the end I was defeated so badly. Do I have to sign an agreement with Lei Chenyi? This world is so realistic. If you don't go deep into it, you will never know how many people there will be during the period." Dirty and dark. The so-called free democracies are ridiculous. Power and money are the most important. When we are not strong enough, we can only learn to take a step back. My step back is to rely on Lei Chenyi, and You should be very clear in your heart about how your regression is."
"I remember I persuaded you before, and you also told me that you just love him. You just want to guard him silently and don't ask for anything else. Your persistence makes me don't know how to persuade you again. So I can only watch helplessly. Watching you devote yourself, watching you go to a dead end, all I can do is stay by your side, and give you a shoulder to lean on when you are hurt."
"But now, you should be very clear. If Murong Xue really makes trouble at school, you will really ruin everything. Just standing in front of her will make you feel ashamed and humble. You can really bear it." The pressure from the eyes of the whole school, and the infamy of seducing married men on your back? Mistress, mistress, shameless, trampling, these words will always accompany you. Can you really bear those strange eyes?"
"Even you will be ordered to drop out of school. Without a degree, you will only be able to live in the lowest state. You will still be the old An Ran, and you will never be able to raise your head to be a human being. Do you really want to be like this?"
"An Ran, I have no choice. Because Lei Chenyi hasn't gotten tired of playing for a day, I can't leave. I can only wait for him to get tired of playing, or wait for four years before I can be free. And you, happier than me, choose The power is in your hands, you can choose to choose a new life, instead of really pushing yourself into a dilemma, now you still have a way out."
I didn't talk about this last night because An Ran was still in the mood.She couldn't listen to her persuasion at all, and she was too tired to talk properly.
An Ran didn't speak, leaning against Cheng Hanlei's arms, tears poured out continuously.
In fact, I already had the answer in my heart, but I just couldn't bear it.
*************************************************
After the phone was smashed, Cheng Hanlei didn't buy a new phone.
Murong Xue gave An Ran three days, and An Ran went to class with her and went back to the dormitory together after the two of them talked that day.Cheng Hanlei knew that An Ran was making a decision, and no matter what the result was, she would have to bear the accompanying pain.
After returning to school early, the principal called Cheng Hanlei to the office and praised her for the reason Lei Chenyi asked Zuo Jianning to find last time. Cheng Hanlei just listened silently without explaining or responding.
It was a quiet day, the night before the deadline.
The two of them were in the dormitory when the dormitory phone rang suddenly.
"Han Lei, call."
Ever since Zuo Jianning wandered around the school and posted on the forum, almost no one called Cheng Hanlei.
Zhu Yuqing was the same as usual when she was in the dormitory, crouching on it and watching anime with a laptop.And An Ran hadn't come out in the bathroom yet, Ling Yu'er, who was visiting the forum, could only run aside to answer the phone.When I heard the call was for Cheng Hanlei, I was a little surprised. When I was sure that it was Cheng Hanlei, I immediately looked at Cheng Hanlei ambiguously, and while covering the microphone, said: "Hanlei, this voice is very magnetic, really nice. Be honest , Did you hook up with your family's senior Zuo behind his back?"
Cheng Hanlei sat on the bed, listened to Ling Yuer's teasing, and got up in confusion. For several days, no one called the dormitory to find her. In the past, the dormitory number was passed on by the boys, and there were so many calls in the dormitory.Later, those who were annoyed could only unplug the phone line to be quiet.
Now that she suddenly said that there was a phone call for her, Cheng Hanlei really couldn't guess who was looking for her for a while.
Walking over, when brushing against Ling Yuer, I heard Ling Yuer muttering: "Why is this voice so familiar? Where have you heard it?"
Cheng Hanlei had already held the phone and let out a hello.At the same time, she heard Ling Yu'er's murmuring voice, and when a figure flashed in her mind, she had already spoken to the phone.
"Didn't you get the phone?"
It was Lei Chenyi who called. Ever since she left that day, he thought she would call to apologize to him.She couldn't fail to see such an obvious thing.And she waited for so long, the phone stared out of the hole, and she didn't see a call.
Even if it is to catch a plane, it is too late to fight.After getting off the plane, you should make a phone call to report that you are safe. Even if you are too tired to get off the plane and have to deal with safety matters, you will have time the next day.But after waiting all morning, the phone still didn't ring. When he was eating with Zuo Jianning, he picked up the phone countless times and kept pressing the phone. He always thought that the phone was out of battery, so he made a call from time to time. Is it because I can't get in, what's more, go to the public phone aside, call my mobile phone, and try to receive the call.
He immediately bought the mobile phone, reissued the card, and then couriered it to her school.When I received the call, I should know what he meant, but after waiting for a long time, there was still no news at the end.It is confirmed that the mobile phone has arrived and has been signed for by the dormitory.Before she could call, he called by himself, but he was still prompted to turn off the phone.
Lei Chenyi was standing in the room at this time, looking at the clothes left on Zuo Jianning's car and the bracelet on it, Lei Chenyi had the urge to strangle Cheng Hanlei to death.
"Usually no one looks for me, and it doesn't matter if the phone is there or not."
Cheng Hanlei said calmly, Ling Yu'er would look curiously at her from time to time, but Cheng Hanlei just leaned there holding the phone, with a very normal expression on her face.
"Still angry about what happened that day?"
Lei Chenyi's voice was a little low.
"There will be classes later, so I hang up."
Cheng Hanlei hardly wanted to mention what happened that day, her legs still seemed to be hurting, and her heart hurt even more.
Hanging up the phone with a bang, before Lei Chenyi could stop him, he reached out and unplugged the phone line.
"Han Lei, who is it?"
"Harassing phone calls."
Cheng Hanlei responded lightly, and walked back to the bed. At this moment, An Ran also came out of the bathroom, and glanced at Cheng Hanlei's calm face, but the two of them were as familiar as one person, with those slightly stiff eyebrows and eyes, and the trace of worry. With Cheng Hanlei.
"Han Lei, that's not right, I remembered, that was the voice of Lei Liwei who had dinner with me last time, why did he call you...you don't think..."
Ling Yu'er immediately jumped up as if she had discovered a new continent, and rushed to Cheng Hanlei with a gossip look, looking at Cheng Hanlei with sparkling eyes, with a look of great curiosity.
"Yu'er, what nonsense are you talking about? Han Lei and Senior Zuo have a very good relationship, don't gossip, the gossip is on Han Lei."
When Ling Yuer approached Cheng Hanlei, An Ran frowned and answered Ling Yuer, she knew that Ling Yuer did not mean anything malicious, but such speculation would make Cheng Hanlei uncomfortable.Why did Lei Chenyi call the dormitory so carelessly? It was because the quarrel between the two of them was too stiff last time.For the past two days, she has been delaying the time to speak, and has not noticed Han Lei.
"I'm not talking nonsense, obviously..."
Ling Yu'er was aggrieved by An Ran's words.
"Yu'er, you're overthinking. The voice on the phone is almost the same. It's a senior from the school next door."
Cheng Hanlei said calmly, her eyes were persuasive.
Ling Yu'er stuck out her tongue, and said exaggeratedly: "Maybe it's because of my rsiyesi. After I met Lei Liwei, I found that I fell in love with him...Han Lei, An Ran, wait a minute I'm with Yuqing."
On the other side of the phone, Lei Chenyi was hung up, and when the beeping busy tone came from the phone, he immediately called back, but he couldn't get through.
"Left, help me book a ticket to M City, the fastest."
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