My Japanese story is a bit sweet

Chapter 84 Cutscene, for her ten years later

The endless blue sky is very dazzling, and the cool breeze is blowing on the forehead.

Be it the sun or the sound of the wind, it's all emptiness.

Happiness no longer exists, leaving only endless loneliness and anxiety deep in my heart.

After breakfast, I have no intention of going back to the classroom.

Xia Xilin held a copy of Zamyatin's "We" and sat quietly by the window to read.

The hustle and bustle of the wind stirred the long black hair, and the breath of a literary girl rushed towards her face.

If he was there, he would definitely laugh at me from the confused and ignorant young Holden in New York City to the wild Miss I-330 in the heavily besieged city.

She was thinking calmly, quietly turning over a page of the book from time to time, her eyes drifting casually to the direction of the door.

Just like ten years ago, Xiao Xiaxi always sat at the door of the wooden house, looking at the miscellaneous woods at the door in the same posture, hoping to see her mother coming home again.

Gradually, the hope in my heart turned into despair.

After losing hope, she would still sit in front of the wooden house, look at the miscellaneous forest and think about the past, present, and future. Although she couldn't get any conclusion no matter how she thought about it, she still repeated this meaningless thing day after day. It seemed like it was the only way she could pass the time.

Soon after her mother was taken away, an old woman who claimed to be a servant came to the house to take care of her life.

It is impossible to talk about conflict, and it is impossible to say that I like it. Anyway, those things cannot be decided by oneself.

Besides, my mother said that Xiao Lin wants to grow up healthy and healthy.

A child who listens to his mother is a good child, right?

Relying on such subtle psychological hints, Xiao Xiaxi's life returned to its previous appearance, going to school during the day and returning home at night, but for a long time, no matter how hard she tried, she still couldn't laugh.

In a small town with an increasing outflow of population, there are naturally not many students in the school.

Among the more than 100 students in the school, Xiao Xiaxi is the most eye-catching.The facial features are as delicate as if polished by hand, and the slender limbs are white and tender, as if they would break if they were folded.With long golden hair and sky blue pupils, she looks like a fragile doll.

And her lovable temperament added to her charm that she shouldn't have at that age.

Whether she is answering questions, burying her head in her homework, or sitting under a tree quietly eating bento, it is like a breathtakingly beautiful painting.

But these good things brought about a disaster-like experience.

The care shown by the teacher intentionally or unintentionally made her suffer from unanimous rejection by her peers.

As long as Xiao Xiaxi is present, the atmosphere of the scene will become very cramped.The boys fidgeted, the girls were vaguely hostile.

In addition, due to family reasons, Xiao Xiaxi is easily nervous, stutters a little, and easily turns red, and often talks without words.

My hands and feet are not very flexible, I can't walk on the balance beam, and my manual homework is a mess.

If these mistakes are placed on other children, it is just a very common and trivial matter, and no one will care at all.It's just that when it happened to Xiao Xiaxi, everyone's reaction would become extremely exaggerated.

Because in this way, the students will have a more legitimate reason to exclude the heterogeneous

They'll openly whisper behind their backs, "This guy is so weird that he can't do that."

"It's really just a doll. It can't do anything and has no parents."

"In the future, it will definitely be a garbage that society does not need."

In this way, Xiao Xiaxi became more silent and withdrawn.

I don't know what to do, I dare not do something, I don't want to get up in the morning, I can't fall asleep at night, and I bury myself in books all day long to escape everything.

Isolate myself from the whole world with silence, and wait alone for the salvation that will not come.

Xia Xilin's childhood was like that, with a little sadness and grief, in the vast coniferous forest of Hokkaido, desperately waiting for the goddess of luck to take a look, year after year, growing up in despair amid endless waiting.

"Ha ha ha ha."

Xia Xilin was startled by the cheerful laughter in his ear, looking for the sound, several students in short skirts walked past the door of the tea house.

"What's good for lunch? Veal steak rice bowl?"

"Why don't you go out to eat? I know that there is a new panini sandwich shop near the school. I heard the taste is very good."

"OK, go and go."

They talk to each other, stretching out their front paws to play with each other like kittens.

Listening to their chat, Xia Xilin sincerely sighed for their boundless energy.

It's just lunch, is there any need to be so happy?
Food is only to provide the energy needed for survival, whether it is Japanese food, French food, or the Chinese food that I eat the most, isn't it just a tool to provide calories.

"Miss, it's time for lunch." Sachiko Shiraishi walked in from the door carrying a bento.

"Put it on the table."

After Sachiko walked out, Xia Xilin closed the book and glanced at the eel rice bento on the table.

Then, in an instant, a nausea surged from the depths of his stomach.

He hurriedly ran into the toilet behind the screen, squatted by the toilet and vomited. Although his whole stomach felt extremely uncomfortable, he couldn't vomit anything, only a little black thick liquid.

Holding the edge of the toilet with both hands, she thought of the omelet rice he made for no reason.

It's been five years since she came to Tokyo, and that's the only food she can miss, except for chocolate.

After washing his face, he moved the bento to an invisible corner, and sat back in front of the window. Xia Xilin rubbed the center of his brows in confusion.

Suddenly, I felt that living in Tokyo for more than five years was really absurd.

After graduating from elementary school, Xia Xilin, who thought she would continue to go to junior high school in a small town, unexpectedly discovered that her blond hair and blue eyes turned into black hair and black eyes overnight.

She was still young and didn't understand what was going on, so she could only helplessly ask the servants for help.

And this time for help, the old witch who took her mother away reappeared and brought Xia Xilin to Tokyo.

Since then, the little girl who was waiting alone in the small town disappeared from the world, and in Tokyo, there was a Miss Xia Xilin.

When she first arrived, she couldn't remember how many times she muttered the words "Tokyo is really difficult".

The city is huge and complex, indifferent and difficult to understand.

Getting lost at the station, taking the wrong tram, bumping into people wherever you go, no one will ignore you when you ask for directions, being blindsided by people, blushing and ashamed all the time, and afraid to enter any store other than a convenience store.

Every time she stood in front of the bustling intersection in Shibuya, she would be dizzy by the huge and dense flow of people, and could not find her own shelter.

New parents, new identities, new circumstances, bring a lot to learn.The etiquette of the nobility, the spells of the shrine, the courses of elite education, etc. were all thrown in front of Xia Xilin.

No one considered whether she could bear it or not, they just took it for granted that she just wanted to understand those things.

During those days, she had been carrying a kind of anxiety that was close to collapse, and she was in a state of crying every moment.

The three years of junior high school have been spent like this. It was not until entering high school that Xia Xilin integrated into the world a little bit.

Although she is still unbelievably beautiful, she is no longer the child who didn't know how to face her own appearance.

The three years of study have made Xia Xilin calm enough to face the complicated Tokyo and complicated life.

Say "Hi, nice to meet you" to different people every day.

Although she was not happy in her heart, it did not prevent her from greeting everyone with an elegant smile.

In the baptism of the years, the transformation between the three identities of the perfect high school student, the chaebol lady, and the shrine maiden has become more and more proficient, and the skills of hypocrisy and deception have become more and more proficient.

With a "click", it feels like the gears are embedded together, so life is on a fixed track.

Counting with my fingers, it has been a full ten years since the day my mother was taken away.

Although she still habitually stays in bed every day, whenever she opens her eyes, she always comforts herself in her heart. If you fall into the darkness, all you can do is wait quietly until your death Eyes adapt to the dark.

weak?
It won't lose its style when it matures.

Are you still holding on?
Would you rather be smart than impulsive?
But if you stop and think twice at every step, will you be tired?
(End of this chapter)